Celebrity Clone Lab: Barney Walsh And Tom Hiddleston
Mischievous trickster Loki has only gone and bloomin’ cloned himself! Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Barney Walsh And Tom Hiddleston
I Don’t Want Any Drama: The Life And Times Of Keir Starmer
If you’re a socialist you might get a sacking but if you’re a Tory you’ll get my backing. Continue reading I Don’t Want Any Drama: The Life And Times Of Keir Starmer
Celebrity Clone Lab: James Corden And Chris Farley
Some people have twigged that James Corden is a clone of Chris Farley, especially when they realise Corden’s career began just when Farley died… how very convenient. What’s disappointing about this particular clone is that whether starring in a Tango advert or Gavin & Stacey, James isn’t very funny. Maybe the folk at CBS thought there’d be some residual personality left from Chris’ DNA or … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: James Corden And Chris Farley
What The Book?: Father! Father! Burning Bright By Alan Bennett Book Cover Design
Why on earth would book publishers reject this brilliant cover artwork? Continue reading What The Book?: Father! Father! Burning Bright By Alan Bennett Book Cover Design
Behind The Lyrics: Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree By Brenda Lee
Christmas is a very stressful time; cooking the Turkey and preparing all the trimmings, and getting the timing just right so that everything is ready all at the same time. That’s probably why writer Johnny Marks and singer Brenda Lee included the lyric “later we’ll have some fucking pie!” in their Christmas song “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree”. Take a listen to the song below … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree By Brenda Lee
Looking Closely At The Coronavirus: Why Christmas Rules Are So Different
After hearing the recent news about Xmas 2020 celebrations here in the UK, you might be thinking to yourself “why is the government allowing a three-house bubble during Christmas?”. Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs and Jews didn’t get to extend their “bubble” during their festivals so what’s so special about this Christian holiday? With the Coronavirus in full infectious swing, what’s going to stop our family and … Continue reading Looking Closely At The Coronavirus: Why Christmas Rules Are So Different
Twelve Days Of Christmas: The Coronavirus Remix
On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me… Reeemiiix! Vinyl rewind sound effect followed by the sound of air-horns and a Funk Flex exploding bomb… Continue reading Twelve Days Of Christmas: The Coronavirus Remix
Have A Merry COVID Christmas And A Happy New Vaccinated Year!
Christmas is always an exciting time and this year will be one of a kind. You’ve had a smashing year so far with five months off school. Even when you’ve had to go back, you can sit on your own instead of sharing with some dickhead your mum paired you up with when you were 2 and he’s now stuck to you like shit to … Continue reading Have A Merry COVID Christmas And A Happy New Vaccinated Year!
The Inner Workings Of A Designer’s Mind: My Eggs Have Scrambled
It’s great being an out of work graphic designer. You’re free to create designs nobody asked for as you cry into your egg yolk-stained onesie. Speaking of eggs, here’s an advert for some posh chicken period ovoids I found in the shop… Continue reading The Inner Workings Of A Designer’s Mind: My Eggs Have Scrambled
Behind The Lyrics: Touch Me By 49ers
The 49ers sampled Aretha Franklin in their 1990 hit “Touch Me” and boy was that an unforgettable lyric! Aretha sang… Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Touch Me By 49ers
The Secret About The Secret Garden: Dixie Egerickx Is Tom Allen In Disguise
Tom Allen, though popular on television, has never really “made it” in the movies. After appearing in bit parts over the years, Tom has finally bagged a lead role! … Continue reading The Secret About The Secret Garden: Dixie Egerickx Is Tom Allen In Disguise
Tales From The Creepy COVID Crypt: A 2020 Halloween Special
What will you be doing this Halloween? You can’t go out with your 5 friends to trick or treat your neighbours, unless you live in a group home. You’ll have to go on your own or walk 2 metres away from your friend like a depressing zombie movie. At least you can throw toilet rolls and eggs at your neighbours, but they will probably open … Continue reading Tales From The Creepy COVID Crypt: A 2020 Halloween Special
Celebrity Clone Lab: Steve Wozniak And Sergio Calderón
One thing you’ll never hear at an Apple Event is how the company is secretly involved in cloning. It’s obvious to most people that Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak is a clone of actor Sergio Calderón and yet nobody, not even current CEO Tim Cook (who, by the way is also a clone) will ever mention it on stage. This is very strange because Apple has … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Steve Wozniak And Sergio Calderón
What The Book?: To Kill A Mockingbird By Harper Lee Book Cover Design
Why on earth would book publishers reject this brilliant cover artwork? Continue reading What The Book?: To Kill A Mockingbird By Harper Lee Book Cover Design
The Incredible Casting Crew: Daniel Radcliffe As John Lennon
This week in our Incredible Casting Crew segment is a movie called “Some Time In New York”. This film is all about the last days of John Lennon’s life but there’s an added twist: there’s a love triangle between John (played by Daniel Radcliffe) his wife Yoko Ono (played by Rinko Kikuchi) and John’s assassin Mark Chapman (played by K. Trevor Wilson). Audience members will … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Daniel Radcliffe As John Lennon
Travelling Around Boston: A Poetic Tour
Oh, how I reminisce of my trip to Boston, recollecting the sights and sounds of the city… Continue reading Travelling Around Boston: A Poetic Tour
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Abby McEnany
There’s a team of geneticists, working in partnership with the Central Intelligence Agency and New York Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medicine who travel between Virginia and New York in a nut-powered underground monorail. How do we know all this? Because Anderson Cooper was an intern at the C.I.A. and Dr. Anthony Fauci interned at the New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center. This pair’s DNA went on to create … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Abby McEnany
What The Book?: Moby-Dick By Herman Melville Book Cover Design
Why on earth would book publishers reject this brilliant cover artwork? Continue reading What The Book?: Moby-Dick By Herman Melville Book Cover Design
Celebrity Clone Lab: Jim Van Bebber And Michael Cohen
A little known fact is that most geneticists are fans and collectors of micro-budget 80’s action movies. We’re not talking Chuck Norris or Michael Dudikoff, oh no, these scientists have a very niche taste, and it can only be fulfilled with the cheapest, most underground films. This fanaticism sometimes leaks into their work. Proof of this comes when you see disgraced lawyer Michael Cohen; he … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jim Van Bebber And Michael Cohen
The Incredible Casting Crew: Mia Wasikowska As Greta Thunberg
This week in our Incredible Casting Crew segment is a film about Greta Thunberg starring Mia Wasikowska. Instead of your bog-standard biopic, our movie will be a Jason Bourne-style action thriller with Greta … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Mia Wasikowska As Greta Thunberg
He’s Flush: The Source Of Rishi Sunak’s Investments
It’s a five hour drive from Stanford to Glendale, a trip that Rishi Sunak once took whilst attending Stanford University in California. In 2006 just before graduating, he was spotted lurking around outside Dreamworks Animation in Glendale and was immediately cast in Flushed Away as the lead upper class rat “Roddy”. Influenced by his role and clutching a cheque from Aardman, Rishi moved into a … Continue reading He’s Flush: The Source Of Rishi Sunak’s Investments
Behind The Lyrics: Trouble By Offaiah
“Trouble” by Offiah is a song about someone suffering from sexual addiction who is uncontrollably fixated on the posterior of x-rated social media models. The sick person sings … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Trouble By Offaiah
Celebrity Clone Lab: Diplo And David Bromstad
In case you didn’t realise, DJ and producer Diplo aka Thomas Wesley Pentz is the clone of designer and television personality David Reed Bromstad. In the 1970’s, the Celebrity Clone Lab had three laboratories located in Florida; one in Sarasota County, one in Orange County and one in Miami-Dade. We have no idea which lab created which celebrity but the fact that Diplo attended the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Diplo And David Bromstad
Behind The Lyrics: First Time By M-22 And Medina
“First Time” by M-22 and Medina is a very unique pop song because the lyrics involve D.I.Y., a topic seldom found in the charts. The track is from the perspective of a couple, one a seasoned renovator and one who’s never undertaken any home improvements. After restoring their old fireplace surround, the newbie becomes hooked on D.I.Y. and sings… “You, got me feeling something it’s … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: First Time By M-22 And Medina
Coronavirus Contradictions: Compulsory Masks Meet Compulsive Buyers
Covid-forbid you don’t have a smartphone or television. If you’re a technophobe who purchases goods in physical stores, you’ll probably be unaware that on July 24th, face masks will become mandatory in … Continue reading Coronavirus Contradictions: Compulsory Masks Meet Compulsive Buyers
Celebrity Clone Lab: Greta Thunberg And Stephen Merchant
At 6.7 miles high, Stephen James Merchant is the first to feel the effects of air pollution. Stephen Merchant is so tall in fact, that he can personally observe the hole in the ozone layer! Fearing that rising greenhouse gas emissions may adversely effect Merchant’s nostrils and eventually his noggin, the Celebrity Clone Lab took a sample of his DNA during the writing of the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Greta Thunberg And Stephen Merchant
Like White On Rice: My Idea For A Tilda Rice Advert
It’s not just my mate, my mucker, mi old fella mi lad B.I./O.S. who comes up with adverts, I have a marvelous idea for an ad too! This one features actor Tilda Swinton, who thanks to her name, can advertise either Tilda Rice or Swinton Insurance. I assume that since Tilda Swinton played an Asian comic book hero named “The Ancient One” in Marvel’s Doctor … Continue reading Like White On Rice: My Idea For A Tilda Rice Advert
Behind The Lyrics: Feel My Needs (Turn Around) By Weiss
“Feel My Needs”, we’re sure you’ll agree, is a very unique song. The track is all about someone visiting an orthopaedic specialist because they think something’s wrong… with their knees of course. The doctor however, sees an issue in the popliteal fossa (the back of the knees). Listen to the song once more and you’ll hear the patient say “feel my knees” to which the … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Feel My Needs (Turn Around) By Weiss
Celebrity Clone Lab: Tucker Carlson And Ed Conway
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Fox News talk show host Tucker Carlson. In case you didn’t know, his clone Ed Conway works at Sky News as an Economics Editor. Tucker is a typical Fox News presenter; racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic and anti-immigration. Thank heavens that his clone Ed Conway is only concerned with the colour of your money. Both were incubated in … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Tucker Carlson And Ed Conway
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Scott Wolf
What do you get if you splice 1 Fox with Mapother to the power of 4? Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Scott Wolf
Celebrity Clone Lab: Jess Conrad And Tom Cruise
In 1961, Jess Conrad went through an existential crisis and this was exhibited in his song “Why Am I Living?”. It was during this time that his DNA was swabbed so a more reliable clone could be created, a clone who was “born” in 1962. Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jess Conrad And Tom Cruise
Track Marks: Exclusive Tracklist For Upcoming 6ix9ine Album
Here’s another exclusive for you all: the tracklist for 6ix9ine’s upcoming album! OMGz fam, you won’t find this kind of information anywhere else on the internet … Continue reading Track Marks: Exclusive Tracklist For Upcoming 6ix9ine Album
Behind The Lyrics: Freed From Desire By Gala
Gala’s 1996 pop song “Freed From Desire” was a big hit but many people, still to this day, are confused by its meaning. In case you don’t remember it, let us refresh your memory. The chorus contained these catchy lyrics: “My lover’s got no money, he’s got his Trumbalese”. But what’s a Trumbalese we hear you ask? Well The Trumbalese (sometimes misspelled Trombolyse) was a … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Freed From Desire By Gala
