Another new segment for Oddball Times is “Celebrity Clone Lab”. In this section we aim to disclose to you, the reader, all the clone-based gossip from the entertainment world, because we know that you know that Hollywood are cloning celebrities so they can multiply their profits. To kick things off we bring you Jeff Sessions, … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jeff Sessions And Mason Adams
The Mandela Effect: Proof That The Winnie Mandela Effect Is Real
If you don't already know, the “Winnie Mandela Effect” was named by paranormal expert Fiona Dustpan when she first realised that she wasn't the only person who wrongly believed Winnie Mandela spontaneously combusted in the 1990s. Dustpan insists that she remembers the media coverage of this event, she says that she vividly recalls video footage … Continue reading The Mandela Effect: Proof That The Winnie Mandela Effect Is Real
Energy Price Hikes: Harnessing The Power
The recent news that energy prices are increasing yet again has lead to feelings of anger which luckily can now be harnessed to power our electronic devices! By wearing this new anger-powered device known as the Stresslectro you can convert your loathing, anger, stress, and despair into electricity. This electricity can then be used to … Continue reading Energy Price Hikes: Harnessing The Power
Smart Speakers: I Know My Place
Today I called out... “Alexa, play Demon Seed and tell me the dictionary definition of irony” …my Amazon Echo didn't answer. Maybe because it didn't understand the command or maybe because I was attempting a Scottish-Punjabi accent, maybe it was because I'd just ingested helium, or maybe because I'd forgotten that I actually have a … Continue reading Smart Speakers: I Know My Place
Bill Gates: Control, Alt, Delete
Hey Bill, I have a brilliant idea and I'm sure you'll be thrilled to hear it. I listened avidly to your speeches supporting eugenics and global depopulation. Firstly I had to look up the word “Philanthropic” because I thought it meant something quite different. You say the world is growing in population and your vaccines … Continue reading Bill Gates: Control, Alt, Delete
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Michael Douglas
Now and again, we at Oddball Times enjoy letting you the reader, into the inner-workings of the entertainment business. In our brand-spanking-new Celebrity Gene Splicing segment, we're going to tell you how you're favourite stars are made. Now you may think celebrities are made the old-fashioned way, but you're wrong. Instead, Hollywood fuses the genes … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Michael Douglas
Donald J. Trump: What It’s Like Being On Top
This week I went to Washington D.C. to meet Donald Trump. I wanted to know how he had become President and why so many people hated him. When I got to Washington it was difficult getting an interview as there were a stream of Presidential bodyguards. I finally managed to shout my questions at … Continue reading Donald J. Trump: What It’s Like Being On Top
Subliminal Advertising For Adidas Knockoffs Goes National
Have you noticed that all the road markings around the UK are either single or double lines? Why not three? The answer is simple, this is all part of a national drive to promote Adidas knockoffs to the teenage population. Three stripes are of course a trademark of Adidas, therefore two stripes are usually a … Continue reading Subliminal Advertising For Adidas Knockoffs Goes National
Brushing Thoroughly With Colgate’s Complete Range Of Toothpastes
Thanks to Colgate's ever-expanding range of toothpastes, I find myself furiously brushing my teeth from around 5:00am all the way to 8:00am. I begin brushing with Colgate Max Fresh Intense Foam because I enjoy the sensation of “intensely foamy” toothpaste. Of course I want my teeth to be healthy, so I follow this with Colgate … Continue reading Brushing Thoroughly With Colgate’s Complete Range Of Toothpastes
