Have you noticed that all the road markings around the UK are either single or double lines? Why not three? The answer is simple, this is all part of a national drive to promote Adidas knockoffs to the teenage population.

Three stripes are of course a trademark of Adidas, therefore two stripes are usually a tell-tale sign that you’re wearing a cheap imitation. Adidas tracksuits and trainers are synonymous with teenage boys growing up in urban areas, and these youths are sometimes referred to as “roadman”. It’s no coincidence then, that the roads are filled with one or two but never three stripes.

Everywhere you go in this country, you’ll see double stripes on road. Double white, double yellow, double red. Regardless of the colour, these stripes are subliminal marketing for cheap Adidas imitations made by Adidas’ rivals.

Just yesterday I was in a JD Sports and right outside there were two yellow stripes on the tarmac subconsciously making potential consumers prefer knockoffs to the originals being sold inside! If a roadman can’t legally park his quad bike or stolen car outside a sports shop in order to buy some official Adidas merchandise then something is truly wrong with our high street.

The road is the natural habitat for roadmen or roadmans and if blud can’t cop tree stripe creps inna di town den man a man a mandem can’t flex when chirpsing di peng ting innit fam.