A cartoon of a petri dish with Jeff Sessions and Mason Adams inside. By Oddball Times

Another new segment for Oddball Times is “Celebrity Clone Lab”. In this section we aim to disclose to you, the reader, all the clone-based gossip from the entertainment world, because we know that you know that Hollywood are cloning celebrities so they can multiply their profits.

To kick things off we bring you Jeff Sessions, ex-Senator and current Attorney General. If you don’t already know, he’s a clone of actor Mason Adams.

Now you may say that these two dudes look slightly different and sound very different, and you may be right, but that’s because the petri dish was left pickling on a south-facing window sill for a good few hours. This resulted in Jeff’s miniature proportions and his strange, antiquated, Southern accent that sounds like Bette Davis in “Hush… Hush, Sweet Charlotte”.

Of course this clone was a huge disappointment so instead of pushing him towards film and television, the Celebrity Clone Lab sent him packing to the world of politics, and film’s loss is politic’s gai… err…. loss. Oh well, once you spend millions keeping an embryo alive in an artificial womb, you’ve got to put them somewhere and luckily nobody noticed the defects in the U.S. Senate.

Be sure to pop back to Oddball Times for more Celebrity Clone Lab news!

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