Jeremy Corbyn Will Fix Everything

A picture of Jeremy Corbyn with muscles to illustrate his fan's perception of him. By Oddball Times

Jeremy Corbyn will fix everything

It’s not just me fawning

Jeremy Corbyn will sort everything

He’s gonna reverse global warming

Jeremy Corbyn will end hunger, death, and disease

He’s gonna bring peace to all the middle east

 

Jeremy Corbyn will fix everything

I’m not being sycophantic

Jeremy Corbyn will save lives

From the Pacific to the Atlantic

Jeremy Corbyn will save the condor, the rhino, and the whale

The man’s a born winner, he will never fail

 

Jeremy Corbyn will fix everything

It’s predicted in religious books

Jeremy Corbyn is the perfect man

Phwoar, what striking looks

Jeremy Corbyn will mend everything

He’ll get rid of my student debt

Jeremy Corbyn is so hot he makes me both hard and wet

 

Jeremy Corbyn will fix everything

I’m not losing the plot

Jeremy Corbyn will make life great

I know he’ll legalise pot

Jeremy Corbyn will sort out big businesses

He’ll sort out the banks

When I’m clutching his photo I have at least four wanks

 

Jeremy Corbyn will fix everything

I’m fixated when he’s talking

Jeremy Corbyn is the saviour

I think I’m gonna stalk him

Jeremy Corbyn will be Prime Minister

He’ll win the political race

Jeremy Corbyn is the second coming

‘Cause I wanna cum twice on his face

 

Jeremy Corbyn will fix everything

Even my failed marriage

Jeremy Corbyn is my new love

We’ll frottage in a Hackney Carriage

Jeremy Corbyn is the chosen one

He’ll end starvation and displacement

I love Jeremy Corbyn so much

He’ll soon be tied up in my basement

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