A cartoon of a petri dish with Rob Brydon and Anton Du Beke inside. By Oddball Times

This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Anton Du Beke, if you don’t know he’s the clone of Rob Brydon! Anton Du Beke, a Strictly Come Dancing dancer and professional racist, was created when a petri dish containing Rob Brydon’s genes were accidentally left resting on a sequinned Saint George’s Cross flag. Don’t ask us how this strange object made its way into the laboratory, all we know is that it somehow melded with Brydon’s DNA and resulted in the camp yet bigoted Du Beke that we all know and loathe.

So, despite Rob Brydon having a likeable personality and being talented at both comedy and impressions, a tiny amount of foreign matter affected his clone so much that Anton Du Beke is an unlikeable, smarmy turd.

If you don’t recall, back in 2009, this ballroom dancer and all-round ballbag quipped with Strictly contestant Laila Rouass that she “looked like a Paki” after she had spray tan applied. Apparently, he also asked her if she was a terrorist because of her North African heritage! On a side note, the BBC refused to sack this prejudiced git for some strange reason, and yet we’re supposed to think of the broadcaster as “liberal”, but I guess that’s way off topic.

The media may like to tell you that Du Beke’s parents are Hungarian and Spanish, but that’s just a mixed-heritage band-aid to cover up the fact that he’s a faulty clone. Outside of the carefully controlled world of entertainment, you may catch Anton retching at the thought of dancing the Jive or Samba, and if there were ever an occasion requiring him to do some Bollywood dancing, he’d probably brown up, wobble his head, and start speaking in a caricatured accent before slipping on his “Made In India” dance shoes. Mission Clone Recall would then have to spring into action pronto!

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