An image of a salt shaker containing 50% less salt. By Oddball Times

“This government isn’t for raising taxes, we’re for cutting taxes, in fact we’re known for cuts, that’s why we introduced a Sugar Tax, not to raise money from it but to cut the sugar from your diet.” That was the statement given by the Minister Of Duplicity today who went on to say that the population has become a nation of sugar and salt addicts and that something must be done.

Since the Sugar Tax has been a resounding success, the politicians have once again teamed-up with various celebrity chefs and food manufacturers and together they have formulated yet another plan to force shoppers into consuming less of those dreaded white crystals of evil.

To combat people’s addiction to sucrose and sodium, new limits will soon be introduced. The Minister stated “From the start of next month, all bags of sugar and all packets of salt will contain ½ of what is stated on their containers. That means, if you purchase a 1kg bag of sugar, there will be 500g less sugar in that bag and if you buy a 750g bottle of table salt, there will be 375g less salt in that bottle. With each item containing half of what it used to, that means an immediate reduction in the nation’s intake of both salt and sugar and that therefore equates to a 50% decrease in obesity, diabetes, tooth decay, and hypertension”. The minister also suggested that the air which fills the empty space in each container is also beneficial to our health. “It’s always good to get some fresh air” he said.

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