Greenlit: A Big-Budget Andy Serkis Biopic

A parody movie poster for an Andy Serkis biopic. By Oddball Times

The life of Andy Serkis is to be told as a big-budget Hollywood movie sources tell us. The story of a young lad from Ruislip Manor going on to college, studying theatre and eventually becoming the foremost Motion Capture performer, has been green-lit for production. Studio executives have said that because of the popularity of CGI films and Motion-Capture performances, Serkis’ biopic will be entirely performance-capture-based with a single actor set to play Andy from child to teenager all the way to adult.

We have been told that the actor selected to play Serkis is Gor, a chimpanzee whose father worked in the PG Tips adverts during the 1980’s. Gor is supplied by Crudelitatis Animalibus Limited, a part-time zoo and supplier of animal actors to Hollywood. The company originally intended a different chimpanzee named Goliath to play the role but unfortunately, he was beaten and subsequently injured on the set of another film so Gor had to take his place. A spokesperson for the company said that since nepotism is preferred in Hollywood, given his pedigree, Gor will be ideal to play the loveable and friendly Andy Serkis.

A chimpanzee actor being motion captured using sensors or markers and a green screen. By Oddball Times

Gor, who has been taught sign language gave a statement to the press about his role. He said that “since Andy Serkis played Kong the gorilla and Caesar the chimp it’s only fair that I, a chimpanzee should now play Andy the person”.

The biopic Motion Capture & Capturing Emotion: The Andy Serkis Story will begin filming shortly and has a 12 week shooting schedule. This 3-month deadline, we’re told has to be strictly adhered to because it will soon be Gor’s 8th birthday and at that point he will cease to be useful as an actor. Chimpanzees are only used in the world of entertainment up until puberty and beyond that they become “too difficult to control” Gor’s trainer told us. So once the Andy Serkis story has wrapped, Gor will spend the rest of his 50-something years in a cage, no doubt wearing a silk turban and broach and reminiscing about his time as a Hollywood star.

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