Exit Stage Left Or Brexit Stage Right: What Is The Correct Position?

A cartoon of a Remain voter and a Leave voter fighting in front of a British and E.U. flag. By Oddball Times

This week I asked two Brits, one Brexiteer and one Remainer

About how they voted in the referendum, they said it was a no-brainer


Tarquin said…


“The EU is a utopia, it’s a beacon of peace

And no, I don’t care how the EU treated Greece

I voted remain because Richard Branson told me to

My golly gosh, I do love the EU


Brexit is bad, that’s what I’m told on a daily basis

And I believe every Brexiteer is a right-wing racist

Brexit will destroy Britain, that’s what The Guardian tells me

Celebrities voted remain, and celebs have compelled me


I didn’t vote to leave, it was the vote of the old

Because of them the price of quinoa will increase ten-fold

It’ll be worse if you’re under 30, young people will no longer have a chance

To study Pharmacology in Amsterdam or Oenology in France


Complete and utter destruction is what my peers are presenting

My heroes swear the problems will be constant and unrelenting

Import prices will increase, I hope those who chose leave are repenting

Brexit will cause house prices to fall (even though I’m renting)


Brexit will destroy infrastructure, we’ll have to stockpile food

The price of clothes will go up, we’ll all be walking around nude

There’ll be chaos at the hospitals, there’ll be a shortage of medication

I’m bi-polar with IBS so I’ll be in a very dire situation


There’ll be bedlam at the border, there’ll be an increase in tax

Brexit will raise the price of petrol, soon it’ll be like Mad Max

Pot-holes, unfinished buildings surrounded by piles of rotting meat

There’ll be tyre-fires, gangs of zombies, there’ll be carnage in the street”


Terry said…


“The EU is evil, it was created by the Nazis

The day that we leave we’re gonna have a load of street parties

I voted leave because Ian Botham told me to

Jesus Christ, I chuffing-well hate the EU


Brexit will fix immigration, England is overrun

That’s what I’m told when I read the Daily Mail and The Sun

If those loony-left remoaners stop Brexit I’ll kick up a fuss

I want the money that was promised on that big red bus


Brexit will kick out the Muslamics, get rid of Sharia law

It’s because of immigrants and refugees that us white folk are poor

Brexit will stop Polacks getting our jobs and that ain’t prejudiced

Jobs for us natives! (but I’m on disability benefits)


I don’t like Europe but I have a time-share in Spain

I was there in an English pub this Summer cheering on Harry Kane

Yes I’m proud to be English. C’mon Andy Murray!

And I eat proper English food like chips, kebabs and curry


So of course, I definitely want to leave the EU

I want my wife’s tan to be brown and I want my passport to be blue

I want the health tourists out of all the hospital wards

I want English companies to thrive like Pringle, Old Spice, and Ford”


…Well, it seems that regardless of how people came to their decision

Most of them were influenced by scaremongering and supposition

Politicians talk doublespeek, hyperboles, or derision

Everything they say is meant for distraction and division


So what will happen when we leave? Will it be exactly what we chose?

Will it be what the left predict or what the right presuppose?

What will happen when we leave? Well, instead of coming to blows

Lets at the very least agree that nobody really knows


And once you agree on that you’ll be in a state of complete Zen

In the grand-scheme of things and on a scale of 1 to 10

Brexit is like a 2, shit happens now and then

When haven’t we been beholden to politicians and businessmen?


20,000 years later do we care why Neanderthals and humans split?

2000 years later do we care about every Roman writ?

Well in a thousand more, nobody’s gonna care about Brexit

It’s a blip in history and I couldn’t give a fucking shit

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