So folks, I have a treat for you all because I’m reviewing a two Grammy, three American Music Award, one Brit, one Oscar winner that went Platinum 13 times… Purple Rain by Prince And The Revolution (because making bell bottom trousers and high heels look sexy on a man was quite revolutionary).

The first song, “Let’s Go Crazy” is, I think, a nod to a scene in One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. Prince is instead in a Church encouraging the sane congregation to go crazy.

The next song “Take Me With U” is about ditching maps and it takes us beautifully into “The Beautiful Ones” which I think is a much better version than Suede’s cover.

This seamlessly melts into “Computer Blue” where we hear a couple of ladies called Wendy and Lisa in the Kitchen trying to gage the temperature of water for some pasta. Prince however is more concerned about the blue screen on his computer but the computer repair guy “Righteous One” hasn’t shown up yet. I think Prince needs to start chopping some basil and call him tomorrow.

“Darling Nikki” is a song about a girl who hasn’t got a room in a motel and so sits in the lobby “mastering bait” with a magazine. She sounds like a keen angler. Prince later goes to her place but has to sign an NDA before she shows him her many devices by which to grind. Their love of spices cannot be underestimated.

I’ve seen birds coo, chirp and sing but “When Doves Cry” is a song about Prince actually seeing one cry, wow! It’s strange that David Attenborough hasn’t informed us of this phenomenon. The next couple of songs merge into one another and I love both: “I Would Die 4 U” and “Baby I’m A Star”.

And finally we have the title song, “Purple Rain” which is about weather experiments. Prince doesn’t seem to mind the colour the rain has turned and is happy wondering around in it. I have to say this was the best 8 minutes 41 seconds I’ve spent listening to a song. And George, you may be able to make a guitar weep but Prince can make it cum.

I for one will give this work of genius 10 Harps and right now Prince Rogers Nelson is probably listening to more angelic ones.