Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Pine

A cartoon of three pods with Leonardo DiCaprio, Brian Thompson and Chris Pine's heads in them. By Oddball Times

It’s not true what they say: Chris Pine isn’t the son of actors Robert Pine and Gwynne Gilford, oh no, he’s a hybridised clone! For proof, we ask you to look at Pine’s Leonardo DiCaprio-esque eyes and his Brian Thompson-esque jaw, he’s so obviously an amalgamation of the two actors.

One day during a power blackout, the DNA of Thompson (star of The Terminator and Cobra) and DiCaprio (star of What’s Eating Gilbert Grape and The Departed) were melded together. The equipment used during this experiment was powered by the engine of a Toyota Prius and the wind energy generated by a kite.

After the experiment was complete, Brian Thomspon took the kite, got on a surfboard and kite-surfed away from the scene. Leonardi DiCaprio also sped away using the Prius. Chris Pine was then picked up by a motorcycle officer who worked for the California Highway Patrol and that dear readers, is how it all went down.

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