This week I’ve been up and down the country testing driverless vehicles. Apparently you can hire self-driving, robotic cars from various companies so I thought I’d give a few of them a go. Oh how disappointed I was… all of the so-called “self-drive” vans I attempted to road test wouldn’t follow any of my commands! Even simple instructions such as “start” and “on” were left disobeyed. I was in each vehicle for a good few hours shouting “engine on” and “drive home” but to no avail. Now I’m out of pocket and stranded in an industrial estate with no means of getting home. I could use my hoverboard but wouldn’t you know it… it doesn’t hover. Sodding technology!