Celebrity Clone Lab: Greta Thunberg And Stephen Merchant

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Greta Thunberg and Stephen Merchant inside. By Oddball Times

At 6.7 miles high, Stephen James Merchant is the first to feel the effects of air pollution. Stephen Merchant is so tall in fact, that he can personally observe the hole in the ozone layer! Fearing that rising greenhouse gas emissions may adversely effect Merchant’s nostrils and eventually his noggin, the Celebrity Clone Lab took a sample of his DNA during the writing of the second series of The Office. His clone, 4 foot 10 inch tall environmental activist Greta Tintin Eleonora Ernman Thunberg, was “born” 9 months later in a Stockholm laboratory.

Greta Thunberg is extremely worried about global warming and climate change because it greatly affects her progenitor; she’s involved in the anti-flying movement because too many planes increase the chance of them crashing into Stephen’s head and she’s concerned about rising sea levels because that’ll ruin his suede shoes.

A classified programme to create more clones of Merchant was inadvertently revealed to the world at the 2019 U.N. Climate Summit. Thunberg let this plan slip by saying “The eyes of all future generations are upon you”. Oh Greta, that project to create a hoard of specky Stephen Merchant clones was Top Secret!

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