There’s a team of geneticists, working in partnership with the Central Intelligence Agency and New York Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medicine who travel between Virginia and New York in a nut-powered underground monorail. How do we know all this? Because Anderson Cooper was an intern at the C.I.A. and Dr. Anthony Fauci interned at the New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center. This pair’s DNA went on to create Abby McEnany, who suspiciously included almonds in her series Work In Progress. Before you say anything, yes we know almonds are dupes and not true nuts. The true nuts are the scientists who create celebrities out of spliced genes!