Freedom Day didn’t happen on 21st June, it was delayed until 19th July, but never mind. With a week to go, I can’t wait for all the freedom we’ll be given:

Free to walk without the 2 metre restriction

Free to keep my hands filthy

Free to slap the helmet off a policeman

Free to burgle my local bank

Free to rape, kill, commit mass murder

It’ll be like The Purge but even better!

We’ll be free from the constraints of time

Free from the shackles of physical form

Teleporting across dimensions to commit incomprehensible crimes

I’ll be able to beam across the multiverse to kill God…

Oh no, I Googled it, it just means we can stop wearing masks…oh bugger it!