From the M-She-U to Get Out, Us and Nope
It’s clear Hollywood is going woke
I’m white, really straight, a real man’s man
So minorities in movies, I really can’t stand
This is a brand new thing, so I’m gonna go back
To a time when the clapperboard was the only thing black
I’m going back in time and I’m not stopping
Back when there was no race or gender swapping
First I’ll travel to the 2000’s, that’s essential
Oh no, they’ve remade Manchurian Candidate with that actor, Denzel
Okay, back to the 1990’s, c’mon time machine, hit me
Fuck, they remade The Bishop’s Wife with Denzel… and Whitney
The 1980’s better not fail me or I’ll be screwed
Shit, they made Bob Cratchit a black woman in Scrooged!
Well at least there’s no place for Feminazis to thrive
What’s that, an anti-male storyline in 9 To 5?
I’m off to the 1970’s, let me lace up my boots
But I have to avoid this anti-white show called Roots
Back further to the 1960’s, that’ll put it right
But there’s a black man slapping a white man In The Heat Of The Night
I think I’ll travel to the 1950’s, here I come
Bloody hell, there’s an interracial kiss in Island In The Sun
Well, at least there’s no gay people, in the 1940’s I hope
I was wrong, there is! In Hitchcock’s Rope
Forget this, I’m going back, back the other way
I need to avoid anything even remotely gay
Travelling past A Rebel Without A Cause, past John Waters
Past any of those LGBT cinema supporters
Away from this time, I’ve really gotta go
Well away from The Rocky Horror Picture Show
By the way: what’s with Bruno in Strangers On A Train?
And why is there a pre-op transgender in The Crying Game?
Man, the past is making me feel so confused
Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman? Surely a 70’s Mary Sue?
Too many 90’s black superheroes; Spawn, Blade, please
And there’s two too many strong females in Thelma & Louise
Quick! In my time machine, I’ll go straight home and
Console myself with repeat viewings of The Northman
Back safe in the 2020’s, geez, time travel’s a swizz
But I’ll still moan on YouTube about how novel diversity is.