Author: Brilliant Input/Output System

Brilliant Art And Brilliant Design By B.I./O.S.
A mock advertisement for Buford Tannen eggs
Advertising, Alternative Comedy, Food, Life, Products

The Inner Workings Of A Designer’s Mind: My Eggs Have Scrambled

It’s great being an out of work graphic designer. You’re free to create designs nobody asked for as you cry into your egg yolk-stained onesie. Speaking of eggs, here’s an advert for some posh chicken period ovoids I found in the shop. They’re called “Clarence Court’s Burford Browns”, but that name just reminded me of Buford Tannen, Doc Brown, and the Hill Valley Courthouse because … Continue reading The Inner Workings Of A Designer’s Mind: My Eggs Have Scrambled

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Russell Hornsby as Lincoln Rhyme in Hunt For The Bone Collector searching for Bone Thugs-N-Harmony albums
Alternative Comedy, Music, Television, Topical Comedy

Sky Witness, No Surrender: A Review Of The Bone Collector

I don’t know about you, but I’m not impressed with the TV series Lincoln Rhyme: Hunt For The Bone Collector, in fact it’s not much better than the 1999 Denzel Washington film. The problems with the show are vast: it’s not set in St. Clair, there’s no crossroads anywhere to be seen, and there is absolutely no mention of Mr. Ouija! Yes, there’s a few … Continue reading Sky Witness, No Surrender: A Review Of The Bone Collector

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A parody advert for olive oil using a scene from Last Tango In Paris
Advertising, Alternative Comedy, Film, Food

Putting The Rape Into Rapeseed Oil And The Butt Into Butter: My Idea For An Olive Oil Advert

What’s better for your health? Cooking with butter or cooking with oil? Experts say that butter isn’t all that bad, it contains many nutrients including Vitamin K2 (and other letter and number combinations). But I’m not here to say what health benefits there are or to tell you the smoke-point stats, I just need a marketing ploy to get rid of the two dozen boxes … Continue reading Putting The Rape Into Rapeseed Oil And The Butt Into Butter: My Idea For An Olive Oil Advert

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A movie poster for a Banksy biopic starring Timothy Spall
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Film

Greenlit: Two More Artist Biopics Starring Timothy Spall

After a couple of films in which Timothy Spall played artists J.M.W. Turner and L.S. Lowry, the question remains: will Tim play any more daubers of paint? Will he portray any more makers of assorted objet d’art? The answer is: of course he will! Spall is now set to play the mysterious graffiti artist Banksy and tapestry and vase creator Grayson Perry. Oh, how the … Continue reading Greenlit: Two More Artist Biopics Starring Timothy Spall

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A parody advertisement for Tropicana Sanguinello in the style of The Godfather movie poster. By Oddball Times
Advertising, Alternative Comedy, Film, Food, Products

An Offer You Can’t Refuse: A Tropicana Sanguinello Advertising Idea

Francis Ford Coppola has been messing with his movies over the last decade or so, needlessly lengthening films such as Apocalypse Now and The Outsiders. Whether he’s ruined his own films by re-editing them or not (and he has) the fact that he doesn’t mind fiddling with his own creations surely means that my idea for a movie tie-in advertising campaign will go down pretty … Continue reading An Offer You Can’t Refuse: A Tropicana Sanguinello Advertising Idea

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A billboard ad promoting Grillz by Oddball Times
Advertising, Alternative Comedy, Products

All Work And No Pay Makes Jack’s Bling Dull Bwoy: A Grillz Advertising Idea

Here’s my idea for an an advert promoting Grillz. “Grills” I hear you say, like George Foreman? Of course not silly, I’m referring to Grillz spelled with a “z”, you know, the gold teeth that used to look cool back in the ’90s but now they’re corny as f… well, never mind who wears what and how to spell it, all that matters is my … Continue reading All Work And No Pay Makes Jack’s Bling Dull Bwoy: A Grillz Advertising Idea

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A parody billboard advertisement for Gorilla Tape. By Oddball Times
Advertising, Alternative Comedy, Products

In A Sticky Situation: Gorilla Tape Advertising Idea

I’ve come up with another great idea for an advert! This one’s for Gorilla Tape, an adhesive tape manufactured by Gorilla Glue Inc. The concept of my ad is simple; ever noticed how serial killers, rapists, kidnappers and other assorted wrongdoers always use Duck Tape to tie-up their victims? Whether it’s in the news or in the movies, you never see a murderer sticking a … Continue reading In A Sticky Situation: Gorilla Tape Advertising Idea

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A bottle of Yakult and some flavoured dental dams placed over the Japanese flag. By Oddball Times
Advertising, Alternative Comedy, Anecdotal Comedy, Food

Gaining Carnal Knowledge: The Art Of Seduction In Japan With The Help Of Yakult

I’ve always wanted to visit Japan; for the food, the sites, the technology, but more specifically the gorgeous women. Unfortunately I don’t speak Japanese but after watching the idents by Yakult which air on the Food Network, I think I have all the phrases I’ll require in the event of a sexual encounter (especially of an oral nature)… The Yakult advertisements begin with this rather … Continue reading Gaining Carnal Knowledge: The Art Of Seduction In Japan With The Help Of Yakult

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A parody of the IT tagline You'll Float Too as an advert for Yorkshire Bank. By Oddball Times
Film, Observational Comedy, Technology

Yorkshire Bank: Being Penny-Wise

Have you tried logging in to Yorkshire Bank lately? The page where you enter your login details features a strange, disconcerting image on the top left hand side, in fact I’m sure I’ve seen it somewhere else. After visiting the site a few times I realised what it was; it’s that scene from the film IT, you know, where the projector starts playing up? Then I … Continue reading Yorkshire Bank: Being Penny-Wise

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A parody of the Nike Colin Kaepernick advert. By Oddball Times
Advertising, Celebrities, Politics, Products, Topical Comedy

Product Idea: Colin Kaepernick Knee Pads

Now that Colin Kaepernick has trademarked his face, I have a fantastic idea for a Kaepernick-endorsed product and since he’s up for marketing himself for the likes of Nike, I’m sure he’ll love my idea. So what hair-brained concept have I come with today I hear you ask? Well, it’s a pair of Colin Kaepernick knee-pads! These knee pads could be produced by any power … Continue reading Product Idea: Colin Kaepernick Knee Pads

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A Beats By Dre parody ad showing Beats By Roberta Flack afro puff headphones. By Oddball Times
Celebrities, Music, Products, Surreal Comedy, Technology

Afro Puff, Puff, Pass: Looking Back At Roberta Flack’s Headphones

  More than four decades before Hip-Hop producer Dr. Dre released his own-brand headphones, soul singer Roberta Flack released hers. Flack’s headphones were of course in keeping with the ’70s, they were very stylish and more importantly they sounded much better than their contemporary counterparts (the overpriced Beats By Dre). Of course this was mainly due to the unique material beneath the closed-ear design as … Continue reading Afro Puff, Puff, Pass: Looking Back At Roberta Flack’s Headphones

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An image of Paul Hollywood as a baby by Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Food

The Great British Mix-Up: Paul Hollywood’s Long Lost Brothers

Did you know that Paul Hollywood, celebrity chef and judge of The Great British Bake Off, is one of a septuplet? Well it’s true! Paul’s father John who was a bakery proprietor, attempted to inseminate his wife with a baker’s dozen but unfortunately, his multiple birth fell short of its target. In the end, Paul’s mother gave birth to only seven babies but after a … Continue reading The Great British Mix-Up: Paul Hollywood’s Long Lost Brothers

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A cartoon of a Remain voter and a Leave voter fighting in front of a British and E.U. flag. By Oddball Times
Poetry, Politics, Topical Comedy

Exit Stage Left Or Brexit Stage Right: What Is The Correct Position?

This week I asked two Brits, one Brexiteer and one Remainer About how they voted in the referendum, they said it was a no-brainer   Tarquin said…   “The EU is a utopia, it’s a beacon of peace And no, I don’t care how the EU treated Greece I voted remain because Richard Branson told me to My golly gosh, I do love the EU … Continue reading Exit Stage Left Or Brexit Stage Right: What Is The Correct Position?

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A parody advert for Air Wick using the character of John Wick holding the air freshener and posing as the Jumpman Logo. By Oddball Times
Advertising, Celebrities, Film, Products, Topical Comedy

Tie-In Product Idea: John Wick And Air Wick

When a film such as John Wick becomes popular, it’s time to think product tie-ins. There’s no doubt that John Wick and John Wick: Chapter 2 were massive hits at the box office, with the first movie netting over $88 million and the second instalment grossing over $171 million. It’s obvious that the next film in the series will be a bigger success and with … Continue reading Tie-In Product Idea: John Wick And Air Wick

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A cartoon illustration of Dyson vacuums in a post-apocalyptic wasteland with a mushroom cloud. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Film, Technology

Beware Of Dyson’s Creations: Predictions Of Our Future In Terminator 2

The movie Terminator 2: Judgment Day was very prophetic; we now have drones in the sky gunning people down, robots are evolving on a daily basis, and with Google, Alexa, Siri and Cortana, we’re moving ever-closer to a Skynet-type artificial intelligence overthrowing the human race. So if James Cameron’s film accurately predicted our future demise, the question remains: who will usher in this imminent human … Continue reading Beware Of Dyson’s Creations: Predictions Of Our Future In Terminator 2

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A cartoon illustration of a man yelling "What?" at a speaker. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Music, Surreal Comedy

Watts: What Are They? The History Of Speaker Wattage

Have you ever wondered how the wattage or “watt” rating for speakers is worked out?… Well wonder no more. Back in the 1970s when amplifiers and speakers were becoming louder and louder (a time when volume knobs could be turned all the way to 11) a professor of audiology named Sebastian Soundstein decided to rate audio equipment such as hi-fis and boom-boxes so that the … Continue reading Watts: What Are They? The History Of Speaker Wattage

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An illustration of a studio microphone and pop filter over a motorway map. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Music

Two Turnpikes And A Microphone: How Hip-Hop Musicians Are Embracing Roads And Motorways

Today we answer the age old question; how do musicians decide what to call themselves? Fans assume that stage-names are simply nicknames from childhood or possibly some random thought that popped into a musician’s head. It was all a mystery… until now. We have inside information that certain Hip-Hop artists used the humble road map in order to select their name. M-1 of Political Hip-Hop … Continue reading Two Turnpikes And A Microphone: How Hip-Hop Musicians Are Embracing Roads And Motorways

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A cartoon image of a rapper wearing skinny jeans by Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Fashion, Music

The Skinny Jeans Effect: Proof That Tight Legwear Restricts Creativity In Music

If someone asks you when the best Blues music was made, you’ll probably say the 1950s. The best Rock And Roll music? The 1960s. The best Heavy Metal music? The 1970s of course. If someone asks you when the best Electronic Dance Music was made, you’ll definitely say the late 1980s and early 1990s. The best Hip-Hop was also produced in the 1990s. So why … Continue reading The Skinny Jeans Effect: Proof That Tight Legwear Restricts Creativity In Music

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A cartoon of a cliched lean addict with tattoos. By Oddball Times
Food, Topical Comedy

Sipping Lean In 2017: It’s Not A Good Look Being A Codeine Fiend

If you don’t know, Lean or Purple Drank is a recreational drug, a concoction made by mixing cough syrup containing Codeine and Promethazine with Sprite (and sometimes a hard boiled sweet such as a Jolly Rancher for some extra sweetness). The side effects of Lean include dizziness, blurred vision, nausea, and memory problems. Because of the Codeine content, another side effect of consuming Lean is … Continue reading Sipping Lean In 2017: It’s Not A Good Look Being A Codeine Fiend

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A picture of Jeremy Corbyn with muscles to illustrate his fan's perception of him. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Poetry, Politics

Jeremy Corbyn Will Fix Everything

Jeremy Corbyn will fix everything It’s not just me fawning Jeremy Corbyn will sort everything He’s gonna reverse global warming Jeremy Corbyn will end hunger, death, and disease He’s gonna bring peace to all the middle east   Jeremy Corbyn will fix everything I’m not being sycophantic Jeremy Corbyn will save lives From the Pacific to the Atlantic Jeremy Corbyn will save the condor, the … Continue reading Jeremy Corbyn Will Fix Everything

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An illustration of different werewolf phases to show what happens to them during an eclipse. By Oddball Times
News, Surreal Comedy

An Eclipse: Fun For Humans, Not So Fun For Werewolves

An eclipse, like the one occurring today, always draws in large crowds. People seem to marvel at the rare sight of the sun being obscured by the moon or the moon moving behind the earth’s shadow. But, when you’re gazing at this natural wonder today, spare a thought for all the lycanthropes out there. Since their appearance is controlled by the moon, during an eclipse … Continue reading An Eclipse: Fun For Humans, Not So Fun For Werewolves

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A cartoon of Winnie Mandela on a computer screen. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Life, Surreal Comedy

The Mandela Effect: Proof That The Winnie Mandela Effect Is Real

If you don’t already know, the “Winnie Mandela Effect” was named by paranormal expert Fiona Dustpan when she first realised that she wasn’t the only person who wrongly believed Winnie Mandela spontaneously combusted in the 1990s. Dustpan insists that she remembers the media coverage of this event, she says that she vividly recalls video footage of Winnie exploding. Fiona then started the website winniemandelaspontaneouslycombusted.con and … Continue reading The Mandela Effect: Proof That The Winnie Mandela Effect Is Real

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A cartoon of a roadman wearing an Adidas tracksuit standing in the Ends. By Oddball Times
Advertising, Fashion, Observational Comedy, Topical Comedy

Subliminal Advertising For Adidas Knockoffs Goes National

Have you noticed that all the road markings around the UK are either single or double lines? Why not three? The answer is simple, this is all part of a national drive to promote Adidas knockoffs to the teenage population. Three stripes are of course a trademark of Adidas, therefore two stripes are usually a tell-tale sign that you’re wearing a cheap imitation. Adidas tracksuits … Continue reading Subliminal Advertising For Adidas Knockoffs Goes National

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