It's obvious that Michael Whitehall isn't Jack Whitehall's real father; a Conservative supporter in his late 40s couldn't sire a child for goodness sake! It's a well known fact that aside from their haughtiness, Conservative supporters' testes are too wizened from all their pent-up aggression. Jack therefore, did not emanate from Mike's urinary meatus, no, … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jack Whitehall And John Quayle
Celebrity Clone Lab: Imogen Poots And Helen Mirren
You can't keep the truth buried for long folks! We're almost, nearly, sort of, certain that there's a Top Secret Celebrity Clone Lab somewhere in the Queen Charlotte's And Chelsea Hospital in Hammersmith, London. Why do we think that? Well, this is where two of the most famous Hammersmith celebrities were created... or as the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Imogen Poots And Helen Mirren
The Incredible Casting Crew: Keanu Reeves As Richard D. Hall
This week in our Incredible Casting Crew segment is Beyond The Starship, a semi-fictionalised movie about Richard D. Hall, presenter of Richplanet. Keanu Reeves plays the lead role of Rich Hall; he investigates UFO sightings, fabricated terrorism including 9/11, as well as mind control, and hidden history. The problem is, these "conspiracies" are all linked … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Keanu Reeves As Richard D. Hall
Behind The Lyrics: Ring My Bell By Anita Ward
Did you know that Anita Ward's disco hit "Ring My Bell" is incorrectly titled? If you listen closely, you'll realise that this song is from the perspective of a sexually frustrated Bell Telephone Company operator. Upon receiving a call, the operator begins to flirt with her customer: “I'm glad you're home, now did you really … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Ring My Bell By Anita Ward
Celebrity Clone Lab: Isabela Moner And Jenna Coleman
Blackpool-born Jenna Coleman is most famous for her work in northern soap opera Emmerdale but what many don't know is that a few years before being cast as Jasmine Thomas, her DNA was sampled and placed in some liquid nitrogen that was cleverly hidden in a jar of Coleman's Mustard. Coleman's genes were supposed to … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Isabela Moner And Jenna Coleman
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Pine
It's not true what they say: Chris Pine isn't the son of actors Robert Pine and Gwynne Gilford, oh no, he's a hybridised clone! For proof, we ask you to look at Pine's Leonardo DiCaprio-esque eyes and his Brian Thompson-esque jaw, he's so obviously an amalgamation of the two actors. One day during a power … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Pine
Behind The Lyrics: Ritual By Tiësto, Jonas Blue And Rita Ora
The song “Ritual” isn't about a ritual at all, no, it's all about how a relationship can be paradoxically both fulfilling and demanding or rewarding and punishing. The writers chose wool to be the metaphor for love (and your lover) because it's both warming and irritating. Just listen to the chorus once more, Rita Ora … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Ritual By Tiësto, Jonas Blue And Rita Ora
The Incredible Casting Crew: Bella Thorne In A Tiffany Darwish Biopic
Here at Oddball Times we don't sit on our laurels. We've created another brand-spanking new segment for you to enjoy called "The Incredible Casting Crew". In this section, we will prove to Hollywood that we're the world's greatest casting directors (and the best Photoshoppers on the planet)! Our first pitch to the film industry is … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Bella Thorne In A Tiffany Darwish Biopic
Celebrity Clone Lab: Sylvester Stallone And Rock Hudson
Over the years, The Celebrity Clone Lab have created 26 clones of Rock Hudson, the first was code-named “Rock-A” and the last one “Rock-Z”. It was however, the 25th clone “Rock-Y” that was the most successful and he also made it as a Hollywood actor. Given his success, Rock-Y was then nicknamed “Sylvester The Clone” … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Sylvester Stallone And Rock Hudson
Pilkington K. Grass: Karl Pilkington’s Tennis Playing Disguise
Ahhh... get out your strawberries and cream folks, it's Tennis season!
Celebrity Clone Lab: Rochelle Humes And Donna Summer
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Rochelle Humes, who if you don't already know, is the clone of Donna Summer, just look at the resemblance! In 1988, Donna Summer came to the UK to make an album with Stock, Aitken, and Waterman. During the recording of Another Place In Time, Summer's DNA was … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Rochelle Humes And Donna Summer
A Bit Of Bluey: The Tory Leadership Race
Choices, choices... who will become leader?
Pokémon Detective Pikachu: A Load Of Bull
Peter Bull never could decide which profession to focus on: he was an actor, a Lieutenant-Commander in the Royal Navy, a shopkeeper, and a writer. Leap-frogging from one job to another, the one thing Bull always wanted to do was learn how to mime. So in 1984, he faked his death and honed his craft … Continue reading Pokémon Detective Pikachu: A Load Of Bull
Behind The Lyrics: Old Town Road By Lil Nas X
It's not Lil Kim... it's not Nas... and it's not DMX... no, it's Lil Nas X in this week's Behind The Lyrics segment... yeah! Lil Nas X's ditty "Old Town Road" has been a huge success but did you know that the song title is incorrect? That's right, this title was used to cover up … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Old Town Road By Lil Nas X
Celebrity Clone Lab: Jeff Bezos And Peter Safran
Way before Amazon existed, there was a mail order store called Congo owned and operated by the Celebrity Clone Lab who were located in a classified rainforest laboratory at the time. In the Congo, there was a fantastic gene recommendation system which was developed to sort all the celeb clones and if you know where … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jeff Bezos And Peter Safran
Behind The Lyrics: Tiny Dancer By Elton John
This week in our ever-popular Behind The Lyrics segment is Elton John's song "Tiny Dancer" from his 1971 album Madman Across The Water. The '70s were of course a time for drug taking and music making and the genesis of this song isn't any different. Everybody knows that cocaine was Elton John's favourite substance back … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Tiny Dancer By Elton John
Celebrity Clone Lab: Peter Sutcliffe And Jeremy Dyson
Today in the Celebrity Clone Lab is screenwriter and writer Jeremy Dyson. If you don't know, he's the clone of serial killer Peter Sutcliffe! You simply need to look at the pair's thick, black, wavy hair to see that they are genetically linked but if you want more evidence we have it here... Before being … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Peter Sutcliffe And Jeremy Dyson
Behind The Lyrics: Needed Time By YXNG Bane
“Needed Time” is a very unique song by R&B singer YXNG Bane. The song, which is an ode to all things doughy, is from the perspective of a pâtissier. If you've ever baked yourself, you'll know that sometimes your cake batter can split and YXNG Bane tackles this subject without any fear. The track features … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Needed Time By YXNG Bane
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Leslie Parrish
Leslie Parrish, who starred in the original Manchurian Candidate was made by splicing the genes of Lena Heady and Margot Robbie. I bet you didn't know that! Quite unexpectedly, Leslie Parrish turned out much better than her progenitors; she was an activist and environmentalist, she fought against the Vietnam War and for civil rights, she … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Leslie Parrish
Celebrity Clone Lab: Ted Bundy And George H. W. Bush
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is George H. W. Bush and Ted Bundy, just look at the uncanny resemblance! The interesting thing about this pair is that one was programmed to go into politics and the other was supposed to become a mass murderer. Unfortunately, even as a Republican, Ted Bundy failed to … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Ted Bundy And George H. W. Bush
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Odeya Rush
"Thank God" the scientists shouted as the genes of Mila Kunis and Chloë Grace Moretz were successfully spliced together seconds before the deadline of May 12th 1997. The result of the experiment was then named after this celebratory outcry; “Odeya” (which means "Thank God" in Hebrew) “Rush” (signifying the time it took to create her) … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Odeya Rush
Celebrity Clone Lab: Ice-T And Peter Dinklage
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is actor Peter Hayden Dinklage, who if you don't know, is the clone of rapper Tracy Lauren Marrow (aka Ice-T) just look at the resemblance! Before living in Crenshaw, Los Angeles, Ice-T was born and raised in New Jersey and that's where a swab of his DNA was … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Ice-T And Peter Dinklage
Celebrity Clone Lab: Tim Cook And Paul O’Grady
I'm sure you'll agree that there's little to no originality at Apple since Steve Jobs passed in 2011. There's no more innovation, no more creativity, no more design risks being taken, in fact it's plain to everybody that Apple has lost its mojo. This may have something to do with the company's CEO Tim Cook … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Tim Cook And Paul O’Grady
Behind The Lyrics: ZEZE By Kodak Black
In Kodak Black's latest track featuring Travis Scott and Offset, he reveals that he enjoys comic books, that he's had sex with comedian and presenter Stephen Fry, that he's a fan of comedian Peter Kay, plus he watches Indian satellite channels and he may even be Jewish! (at least that's we think he's saying). But … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: ZEZE By Kodak Black
Celebrity Clone Lab: Colin Powell And Lewis Black
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is comedian Lewis Black. If you don't know, he's the clone of retired four-star general and ex-secretary of state Colin Powell! Colin Powell, if you don't remember, was the bloke who gave that remarkable presentation to the U.N. in 2003. Colin was confident that Iraq had weapons of … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Colin Powell And Lewis Black
Celebrity Clone Lab: Daisy Ridley And Rhys James
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is actor Daisy Ridley. If you don't already know, she's the clone of comedian Rhys James. Now of course, the mainstream media will tell you that Daisy Ridley is a descendant of landed gentry, the great-niece of a Dad's Army actor, and the daughter of a banker and … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Daisy Ridley And Rhys James
Celebrity Clone Lab: Stacey Dooley And Jane Asher
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is TV presenter Stacey Dooley. If you don't know, she's the clone of actor Jane Asher! Now you may say that Dooley isn't a perfect copy of Asher and you'd be right. Records indicate that the Celebrity Clone Lab intended to create a perfect clone of Jane but … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Stacey Dooley And Jane Asher
Celebrity Clone Lab: Phil Lynott and Craig David
After the phenomenally successful career of Phil Lynott (with and without Thin Lizzy) the scientists at the Celebrity Clone Lab stored Phil's cells for later use, with the hopes of perhaps creating a similarly successful artist for the noughties' generation. The laboratory was very careful with the precious cells as they set about creating the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Phil Lynott and Craig David
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Isaak
It's a known fact that scientists have varied tastes in music. Some of them for example, like to listen to Elvis and some prefer The Smiths. One day after an argument over who is better, a group of experts in the field of Genomics decided to splice the genes of Elvis Presley and Morrissey together … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Isaak
Celebrity Clone Lab: Sandra Bullock And Michael Jackson
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Sandra Bullock, if you haven't already realised, she's a clone of Michael Jackson. Just look at the resemblance! When or where this cloning took place is a mystery but maybe Sandra's father John Bullock being a contractor for The Pentagon or her grandfather being a German rocket … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Sandra Bullock And Michael Jackson
Celebrity Clone Lab: Harry Hill And Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is TV chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. If you don't already know, he's the clone of slap-head comedian Harry Hill. Harry Hill's breakout 90's BBC Radio 4 show was called “Harry Hill's Fruit Corner” and his follow-up TV show for BBC Two was called “Fruit Fancies”. Then in the 00's, … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Harry Hill And Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall
Harvey Weinstein’s Secret Therapy: What It’s Like Being A Woman
Shortly after the world discovered that Harvey Weinstein was an alleged sexual harasser, sexual assaulter, and rapist, the man went under the radar and seemingly dropped off the map. There were reports that he was “in treatment” but people are now beginning to ask “what treatment?” and “where?”. Well, we have an exclusive for you … Continue reading Harvey Weinstein’s Secret Therapy: What It’s Like Being A Woman
Celebrity Clone Lab: Lee Evans And Fred West
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is stand-up comedian Lee Evans. If you don't know, he's the clone of serial killer Fred West! Oddball Times doesn't have much evidence of this particular celeb cloning as the files were lost, destroyed, or buried somewhere in Gloucester but just take a look at the resemblance; the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Lee Evans And Fred West
