“Trouble” by Offiah is a song about someone suffering from sexual addiction who is uncontrollably fixated on the posterior of x-rated social media models. The sick person sings... “I'm facing their butthole For all of my problems These Instagram models Are nothing but trouble” Had Offaiah been obsessed with pornstar's front bottoms, the radio would … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Trouble By Offaiah
Celebrity Clone Lab: Diplo And David Bromstad
In case you didn't realise, DJ and producer Diplo aka Thomas Wesley Pentz is the clone of designer and television personality David Reed Bromstad. In the 1970's, the Celebrity Clone Lab had three laboratories located in Florida; one in Sarasota County, one in Orange County and one in Miami-Dade. We have no idea which lab … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Diplo And David Bromstad
Behind The Lyrics: First Time By M-22 And Medina
"First Time" by M-22 and Medina is a very unique pop song because the lyrics involve D.I.Y., a topic seldom found in the charts. The track is from the perspective of a couple, one a seasoned renovator and one who's never undertaken any home improvements. After restoring their old fireplace surround, the newbie becomes hooked … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: First Time By M-22 And Medina
Celebrity Clone Lab: Greta Thunberg And Stephen Merchant
At 6.7 miles high, Stephen James Merchant is the first to feel the effects of air pollution. Stephen Merchant is so tall in fact, that he can personally observe the hole in the ozone layer! Fearing that rising greenhouse gas emissions may adversely effect Merchant's nostrils and eventually his noggin, the Celebrity Clone Lab took … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Greta Thunberg And Stephen Merchant
Behind The Lyrics: Feel My Needs (Turn Around) By Weiss
"Feel My Needs", we're sure you'll agree, is a very unique song. The track is all about someone visiting an orthopaedic specialist because they think something's wrong... with their knees of course. The doctor however, sees an issue in the popliteal fossa (the back of the knees). Listen to the song once more and you'll … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Feel My Needs (Turn Around) By Weiss
Celebrity Clone Lab: Tucker Carlson And Ed Conway
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Fox News talk show host Tucker Carlson. In case you didn't know, his clone Ed Conway works at Sky News as an Economics Editor. Tucker is a typical Fox News presenter; racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic and anti-immigration. Thank heavens that his clone Ed Conway is only concerned … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Tucker Carlson And Ed Conway
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Scott Wolf
What do you get if you splice 1 Fox with Mapother to the power of 4?
Celebrity Clone Lab: Jess Conrad And Tom Cruise
In 1961, Jess Conrad went through an existential crisis and this was exhibited in his song “Why Am I Living?”. It was during this time that his DNA was swabbed so a more reliable clone could be created, a clone who was “born” in 1962.
Behind The Lyrics: Freed From Desire By Gala
Gala's 1996 pop song "Freed From Desire" was a big hit but many people, still to this day, are confused by its meaning. In case you don't remember it, let us refresh your memory. The chorus contained these catchy lyrics: "My lover's got no money, he's got his Trumbalese". But what's a Trumbalese we hear … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Freed From Desire By Gala
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Christopher Ciccone
In case you didn't know, Christopher Ciccone is a hybridised clone made from the spliced genes of comedian Norm MacDonald and film-maker Quentin Tarantino. Norm MacDonald tried to alert the public that his DNA was blended with Quentin Tarantino's on Saturday Night Live, and yet despite this obvious cry for help, it was dismissed as … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Christopher Ciccone
The Incredible Casting Crew: John Malkovich In One Foot In The Grave Reboot
In our latest Incredible Casting Crew segment, we have another fantastic pitch to the entertainment industry. This time it's a reboot of the classic 90's sitcom One Foot In The Grave starring none other than John Malkovich! Picture it: a grumpy Victor Meldrew played with the same dark, monotone voice of Cyrus The Virus from … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: John Malkovich In One Foot In The Grave Reboot
Celebrity Clone Lab: The Walking Dead Edition
Pay close attention to the cast of The Walking Dead and you'll notice that some of those folks look kinda familiar. There must be a clone lab somewhere in Georgia because this show is full of them! Actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan who plays “Negan” is a clone of actor Javier Bardem... Actor Danai Gurira who … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: The Walking Dead Edition
Celebrity Clone Lab: Yungblud And Fairuza Balk
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is singer YUNGBLUD (real name Dominic Richard Harrison) and actor Fairuza Balk. Just look at the resemblance! Fairuza Balk starred in the film The Craft in which four outcast teens took part in rituals and cast various spells after becoming interested in witchcraft. Aside from the love spells … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Yungblud And Fairuza Balk
Celebrity Clone Lab: Sara Pascoe And Sara Dallin
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is comedian Sara Pascoe and singer Sara Dallin. Just look at the pair's uncanny resemblance! After a quick DNA swab at the London College Of Fashion, Sara Dallin's cells were immediately used to produce a clone. It wasn't just Dallin's group Bananarama that was created in 1981, … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Sara Pascoe And Sara Dallin
Celebrity Clone Lab: Azealia Banks And William Jackson Harper
If you've ever thought to yourself "what happens when a clone is dropped on its head?", we have the answer! William Jackson Harper's clone Azealia Banks was dropped 212 times whist being transported from Dallas, Texas to Harlem, New York. The crucible tongs that held onto Azealia's forehead slipped multiple times due to her being … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Azealia Banks And William Jackson Harper
Behind The Lyrics: Blackberry Way By The Move
Remember the late '00s and early '10s when everybody from wannabe business moguls to budding reality stars were clutching a BlackBerry phone, BBM-ing each other like mad? Unfortunately, BlackBerry slowly began to fall out of favour, being replaced by an Apple like Ribena after the sugar tax. Not a lot of people know that the … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Blackberry Way By The Move
Celebrity Clone Lab: Gemma Collins And Goldie Hawn
Gemma Collins is most definitely the clone of Goldie Hawn. I mean c'mon, when you take a gander at these two, it's obvious... they're so similar-looking that there can't be any other explanation! But what proof do you have we hear you ask? Well, we think it's quite telling that Gemma Collins before becoming a … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Gemma Collins And Goldie Hawn
Celebrity Clone Lab: Jack Whitehall And John Quayle
It's obvious that Michael Whitehall isn't Jack Whitehall's real father; a Conservative supporter in his late 40s couldn't sire a child for goodness sake! It's a well known fact that aside from their haughtiness, Conservative supporters' testes are too wizened from all their pent-up aggression. Jack therefore, did not emanate from Mike's urinary meatus, no, … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jack Whitehall And John Quayle
Celebrity Clone Lab: Imogen Poots And Helen Mirren
You can't keep the truth buried for long folks! We're almost, nearly, sort of, certain that there's a Top Secret Celebrity Clone Lab somewhere in the Queen Charlotte's And Chelsea Hospital in Hammersmith, London. Why do we think that? Well, this is where two of the most famous Hammersmith celebrities were created... or as the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Imogen Poots And Helen Mirren
The Incredible Casting Crew: Keanu Reeves As Richard D. Hall
This week in our Incredible Casting Crew segment is Beyond The Starship, a semi-fictionalised movie about Richard D. Hall, presenter of Richplanet. Keanu Reeves plays the lead role of Rich Hall; he investigates UFO sightings, fabricated terrorism including 9/11, as well as mind control, and hidden history. The problem is, these "conspiracies" are all linked … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Keanu Reeves As Richard D. Hall
Behind The Lyrics: Ring My Bell By Anita Ward
Did you know that Anita Ward's disco hit "Ring My Bell" is incorrectly titled? If you listen closely, you'll realise that this song is from the perspective of a sexually frustrated Bell Telephone Company operator. Upon receiving a call, the operator begins to flirt with her customer: “I'm glad you're home, now did you really … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Ring My Bell By Anita Ward
Celebrity Clone Lab: Isabela Moner And Jenna Coleman
Blackpool-born Jenna Coleman is most famous for her work in northern soap opera Emmerdale but what many don't know is that a few years before being cast as Jasmine Thomas, her DNA was sampled and placed in some liquid nitrogen that was cleverly hidden in a jar of Coleman's Mustard. Coleman's genes were supposed to … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Isabela Moner And Jenna Coleman
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Pine
It's not true what they say: Chris Pine isn't the son of actors Robert Pine and Gwynne Gilford, oh no, he's a hybridised clone! For proof, we ask you to look at Pine's Leonardo DiCaprio-esque eyes and his Brian Thompson-esque jaw, he's so obviously an amalgamation of the two actors. One day during a power … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Pine
Behind The Lyrics: Ritual By Tiësto, Jonas Blue And Rita Ora
The song “Ritual” isn't about a ritual at all, no, it's all about how a relationship can be paradoxically both fulfilling and demanding or rewarding and punishing. The writers chose wool to be the metaphor for love (and your lover) because it's both warming and irritating. Just listen to the chorus once more, Rita Ora … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Ritual By Tiësto, Jonas Blue And Rita Ora
The Incredible Casting Crew: Bella Thorne In A Tiffany Darwish Biopic
Here at Oddball Times we don't sit on our laurels. We've created another brand-spanking new segment for you to enjoy called "The Incredible Casting Crew". In this section, we will prove to Hollywood that we're the world's greatest casting directors (and the best Photoshoppers on the planet)! Our first pitch to the film industry is … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Bella Thorne In A Tiffany Darwish Biopic
Celebrity Clone Lab: Sylvester Stallone And Rock Hudson
Over the years, The Celebrity Clone Lab have created 26 clones of Rock Hudson, the first was code-named “Rock-A” and the last one “Rock-Z”. It was however, the 25th clone “Rock-Y” that was the most successful and he also made it as a Hollywood actor. Given his success, Rock-Y was then nicknamed “Sylvester The Clone” … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Sylvester Stallone And Rock Hudson
Pilkington K. Grass: Karl Pilkington’s Tennis Playing Disguise
Ahhh... get out your strawberries and cream folks, it's Tennis season!
Celebrity Clone Lab: Rochelle Humes And Donna Summer
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Rochelle Humes, who if you don't already know, is the clone of Donna Summer, just look at the resemblance! In 1988, Donna Summer came to the UK to make an album with Stock, Aitken, and Waterman. During the recording of Another Place In Time, Summer's DNA was … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Rochelle Humes And Donna Summer
A Bit Of Bluey: The Tory Leadership Race
Choices, choices... who will become leader?
Pokémon Detective Pikachu: A Load Of Bull
Peter Bull never could decide which profession to focus on: he was an actor, a Lieutenant-Commander in the Royal Navy, a shopkeeper, and a writer. Leap-frogging from one job to another, the one thing Bull always wanted to do was learn how to mime. So in 1984, he faked his death and honed his craft … Continue reading Pokémon Detective Pikachu: A Load Of Bull
Behind The Lyrics: Old Town Road By Lil Nas X
It's not Lil Kim... it's not Nas... and it's not DMX... no, it's Lil Nas X in this week's Behind The Lyrics segment... yeah! Lil Nas X's ditty "Old Town Road" has been a huge success but did you know that the song title is incorrect? That's right, this title was used to cover up … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Old Town Road By Lil Nas X
Celebrity Clone Lab: Jeff Bezos And Peter Safran
Way before Amazon existed, there was a mail order store called Congo owned and operated by the Celebrity Clone Lab who were located in a classified rainforest laboratory at the time. In the Congo, there was a fantastic gene recommendation system which was developed to sort all the celeb clones and if you know where … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jeff Bezos And Peter Safran
Behind The Lyrics: Tiny Dancer By Elton John
This week in our ever-popular Behind The Lyrics segment is Elton John's song "Tiny Dancer" from his 1971 album Madman Across The Water. The '70s were of course a time for drug taking and music making and the genesis of this song isn't any different. Everybody knows that cocaine was Elton John's favourite substance back … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Tiny Dancer By Elton John
