Author: Oddball Times

A satirical (and cartoonish) look at life!
A cartoon image of three trick or treaters holding buckets and antibacterial wipes
Life, Observational Comedy, Topical Comedy

Tales From The Creepy COVID Crypt: A 2020 Halloween Special

What will you be doing this Halloween? You can’t go out with your 5 friends to trick or treat your neighbours, unless you live in a group home. You’ll have to go on your own or walk 2 metres away from your friend like a depressing zombie movie. At least you can throw toilet rolls and eggs at your neighbours, but they will probably open … Continue reading Tales From The Creepy COVID Crypt: A 2020 Halloween Special

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Sergio Calderon and Steve Wozniak inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab, Technology

Celebrity Clone Lab: Steve Wozniak And Sergio Calderón

One thing you’ll never hear at an Apple Event is how the company is secretly involved in cloning. It’s obvious to most people that Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak is a clone of actor Sergio Calderón and yet nobody, not even current CEO Tim Cook (who, by the way is also a clone) will ever mention it on stage. This is very strange because Apple has … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Steve Wozniak And Sergio Calderón

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A movie poster for a John Lennon biopic starring Daniel Radcliffe by Oddball Times
Celebrities, Film, Incredible Casting Crew

The Incredible Casting Crew: Daniel Radcliffe As John Lennon

This week in our Incredible Casting Crew segment is a movie called “Some Time In New York City”. This film is all about the last days of John Lennon’s life but there’s an added twist: there’s a love triangle between John (played by Daniel Radcliffe) his wife Yoko Ono (played by Rinko Kikuchi) and John’s assassin Mark Chapman (played by K. Trevor Wilson). Audience members … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Daniel Radcliffe As John Lennon

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A cartoon of three pods with Anderson Cooper, Doctor Anthony Fauci, and Abby McEnany's heads in them. By Oddball Times
Celebrities, Celebrity Gene Splicing, Television

Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Abby McEnany

There’s a team of geneticists, working in partnership with the Central Intelligence Agency and New York Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medicine who travel between Virginia and New York in a nut-powered underground monorail. How do we know all this? Because Anderson Cooper was an intern at the C.I.A. and Dr. Anthony Fauci interned at the New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center. This pair’s DNA went on to create … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Abby McEnany

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Michael Cohen and Jim Van Bebber inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab

Celebrity Clone Lab: Jim Van Bebber And Michael Cohen

A little known fact is that most geneticists are fans and collectors of micro-budget 80’s action movies. We’re not talking Chuck Norris or Michael Dudikoff, oh no, these scientists have a very niche taste, and it can only be fulfilled with the cheapest, most underground films. This fanaticism sometimes leaks into their work. Proof of this comes when you see disgraced lawyer Michael Cohen; he … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jim Van Bebber And Michael Cohen

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A side by side image of Rishi Sunak and Roddy from Flushed Away
Alternative Comedy, Film, Politics

He’s Flush: The Source Of Rishi Sunak’s Investments

It’s a five hour drive from Stanford to Glendale, a trip that Rishi Sunak once took whilst attending Stanford University in California. In 2006 just before graduating, he was spotted lurking around outside Dreamworks Animation in Glendale and was immediately cast in Flushed Away as the lead upper class rat “Roddy”. Influenced by his role and clutching a cheque from Aardman, Rishi moved into a … Continue reading He’s Flush: The Source Of Rishi Sunak’s Investments

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Diplo and David Bromstad inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab, Music

Celebrity Clone Lab: Diplo And David Bromstad

In case you didn’t realise, DJ and producer Diplo aka Thomas Wesley Pentz is the clone of designer and television personality David Reed Bromstad. In the 1970’s, the Celebrity Clone Lab had three laboratories located in Florida; one in Sarasota County, one in Orange County and one in Miami-Dade. We have no idea which lab created which celebrity but the fact that Diplo attended the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Diplo And David Bromstad

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M-22 and Medina hiding behind a music stand. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Behind The Lyrics, Music

Behind The Lyrics: First Time By M-22 And Medina

“First Time” by M-22 and Medina is a very unique pop song because the lyrics involve D.I.Y., a topic seldom found in the charts. The track is from the perspective of a couple, one a seasoned renovator and one who’s never undertaken any home improvements. After restoring their old fireplace surround, the newbie becomes hooked on D.I.Y. and sings… “You, got me feeling something it’s … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: First Time By M-22 And Medina

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Greta Thunberg and Stephen Merchant inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab

Celebrity Clone Lab: Greta Thunberg And Stephen Merchant

At 6.7 miles high, Stephen James Merchant is the first to feel the effects of air pollution. Stephen Merchant is so tall in fact, that he can personally observe the hole in the ozone layer! Fearing that rising greenhouse gas emissions may adversely effect Merchant’s nostrils and eventually his noggin, the Celebrity Clone Lab took a sample of his DNA during the writing of the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Greta Thunberg And Stephen Merchant

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An advert for Tilda Rice with Tilda Swinton as The Ancient One from Doctor Strange. By Oddball Times
Advertising, Celebrities, Film, Products

Like White On Rice: My Idea For A Tilda Rice Advert

I have a marvellous idea for an ad! This one features actor Tilda Swinton, who thanks to her name, can advertise either Tilda Rice or Swinton Insurance. I assume that since Tilda Swinton played an Asian comic book hero named “The Ancient One” in Marvel’s Doctor Strange, she’ll prefer to put her name to the former, and given that Marvel Studios and writer-director Scott Derrickson … Continue reading Like White On Rice: My Idea For A Tilda Rice Advert

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Weiss aka Richard Dinsdale hiding behind a music stand. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Behind The Lyrics, Music

Behind The Lyrics: Feel My Needs (Turn Around) By Weiss

“Feel My Needs”, we’re sure you’ll agree, is a very unique song. The track is all about someone visiting an orthopaedic specialist because they think something’s wrong… with their knees of course. The doctor however, sees an issue in the popliteal fossa (the back of the knees). Listen to the song once more and you’ll hear the patient say “feel my knees” to which the … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Feel My Needs (Turn Around) By Weiss

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Tucker Carlson and Ed Conway inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab

Celebrity Clone Lab: Tucker Carlson And Ed Conway

This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Fox News talk show host Tucker Carlson. In case you didn’t know, his clone Ed Conway works at Sky News as an Economics Editor. Tucker is a typical Fox News presenter (anti this, that phobic and most “ists”) so thank heavens that his clone Ed Conway is only concerned with color… the colour of your money that is. … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Tucker Carlson And Ed Conway

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Gala aka Gala Rizzatto hiding behind a music stand. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Behind The Lyrics, Music, Products

Behind The Lyrics: Freed From Desire By Gala

Gala’s 1996 pop song “Freed From Desire” was a big hit but many people, still to this day, are confused by its meaning. In case you don’t remember it, let us refresh your memory. The chorus contained these catchy lyrics: “My lover’s got no money, he’s got his Trumbalese”. But what’s a Trumbalese we hear you ask? Well The Trumbalese (sometimes misspelled Trombolyse) was a … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Freed From Desire By Gala

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A heist blueprint involving stealing keys
Alternative Comedy, Anecdotal Comedy, Life, Topical Comedy

The Key Cutting Caper: How Key Workers Ruined My Pandemic Pilferage

Having read the government’s statement about certain people being asked to continue working whilst the rest of us stay at home (due to this pesky joint US/Chinese lab-rat-bat virus pandemic) I felt very happy. Without divulging my methods, I recently “happened upon” my neighbour’s shed key in order to “borrow” his lawnmower and so I used my one-hour allocated exercise period to take it to … Continue reading The Key Cutting Caper: How Key Workers Ruined My Pandemic Pilferage

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Russell Hornsby as Lincoln Rhyme in Hunt For The Bone Collector searching for Bone Thugs-N-Harmony albums
Alternative Comedy, Music, Television, Topical Comedy

Sky Witness, No Surrender: A Review Of The Bone Collector

I don’t know about you, but I’m not impressed with the TV series Lincoln Rhyme: Hunt For The Bone Collector, in fact it’s not much better than the 1999 Denzel Washington film. The problems with the show are vast: it’s not set in St. Clair, there’s no crossroads anywhere to be seen, and there is absolutely no mention of Mr. Ouija! Yes, there’s a few … Continue reading Sky Witness, No Surrender: A Review Of The Bone Collector

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A cartoon of three pods with Christopher Ciccone, Norm Macdonald, and Quentin Tarantino's heads in them. By Oddball Times
Celebrities, Celebrity Gene Splicing, Surreal Comedy

Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Christopher Ciccone

In case you didn’t know, Christopher Ciccone is a hybridised clone made from the spliced genes of comedian Norm MacDonald and film-maker Quentin Tarantino. Norm MacDonald tried to alert the public that his DNA was blended with Quentin Tarantino’s on Saturday Night Live, and yet despite this obvious cry for help, it was dismissed as an “impression”. If you don’t know who Christopher Ciccone is … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Christopher Ciccone

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A poster for a One Foot In The Grave reboot starring John Malkovich by Oddball Times
Celebrities, Film, Incredible Casting Crew, Television

The Incredible Casting Crew: John Malkovich In One Foot In The Grave Reboot

In our latest Incredible Casting Crew segment, we have another fantastic pitch to the entertainment industry. This time it’s a reboot of the classic 90’s sitcom One Foot In The Grave starring none other than John Malkovich! Picture it: a grumpy Victor Meldrew played with the same dark, monotone voice of Cyrus The Virus from Con Air or Mitch Leary from In The Line Of … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: John Malkovich In One Foot In The Grave Reboot

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A cartoon of a hedgehog going shopping during the COVID-19 crisis
Anecdotal Comedy, Food, Topical Comedy

Hogging It All: The Life Of A Hedgehog Amidst The Coronavirus Pandemic

As I do each year, I woke up to sun hitting my face. I love this time of year, the end of hibernation means I can get out and about, meet friends and enjoy the fresh air. Today I looked out and saw a wonderfully sunny day and I thought “right, that’s it, what I need right now is a stroll in the sun to … Continue reading Hogging It All: The Life Of A Hedgehog Amidst The Coronavirus Pandemic

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A cartoon of two white nationalists in face masks lying on the floor after assulting each other
Alternative Comedy, Food, Life, Politics, Topical Comedy

Confusing Times For Gammon: Inadvertent Self-Hatred Amidst The Coronavirus

In this difficult time, spare a thought for all the right-wing Islamophobes out there. After railing against halal meat and burkas for two decades, gammon across the nation now find themselves in a bit of a pickle. Since traditional supermarket shelves are being emptied by panic buyers, the only place to buy food is at their local Asian mini-marts. After swallowing their pride and donning … Continue reading Confusing Times For Gammon: Inadvertent Self-Hatred Amidst The Coronavirus

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A parody image of Harrods paracetamol and Fortnum & Mason toilet paper
Alternative Comedy, Food, Life, News, Politics, Topical Comedy

We Have Our Limits: COVID-19 Panic Buying Affecting All Establishments

After a flurry of panic buying and hoarding, supermarkets across Britain have put limits into place. Tesco, Sainsbury’s and Asda have all put a three-product limit on various grocery items but what about other retailers? I haven’t heard anything on the news about Fortnum & Mason. Can I only purchase three tins of Baerii Caviar? It’s only an “entry level caviar” and at £55.00 per … Continue reading We Have Our Limits: COVID-19 Panic Buying Affecting All Establishments

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