A cartoon of a Petri dish with Greta Thunberg and Stephen Merchant inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Greta Thunberg And Stephen Merchant

At 6.7 miles high, Stephen James Merchant is the first to feel the effects of air pollution. Stephen Merchant is so tall in fact, that he can personally observe the hole in the ozone layer! Fearing that rising greenhouse gas emissions may adversely effect Merchant's nostrils and eventually his noggin, the Celebrity Clone Lab took … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Greta Thunberg And Stephen Merchant

Weiss aka Richard Dinsdale hiding behind a music stand. By Oddball Times

Behind The Lyrics: Feel My Needs (Turn Around) By Weiss

"Feel My Needs", we're sure you'll agree, is a very unique song. The track is all about someone visiting an orthopaedic specialist because they think something's wrong... with their knees of course. The doctor however, sees an issue in the popliteal fossa (the back of the knees). Listen to the song once more and you'll … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Feel My Needs (Turn Around) By Weiss

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Tucker Carlson and Ed Conway inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Tucker Carlson And Ed Conway

This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Fox News talk show host Tucker Carlson. In case you didn't know, his clone Ed Conway works at Sky News as an Economics Editor. Tucker is a typical Fox News presenter; racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic and anti-immigration. Thank heavens that his clone Ed Conway is only concerned … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Tucker Carlson And Ed Conway

An image of 6ix9ine with Bungle, Zippy, and George from Rainbow

Track Marks: Exclusive Tracklist For Upcoming 6ix9ine Album

Here's another exclusive for you all: the tracklist for 6ix9ine's upcoming album! OMGz fam, you won't find this kind of information anywhere else on the internet... 1. Googoo 2. Gaga 3. Duplo 4. Lego 5. Crappo 6. Poopoo 7. Molinabeata 8. Clowno 9. Ratso 10. OutaJailee 11. Asthma 12. Flimflam 13. Year Old 14. My … Continue reading Track Marks: Exclusive Tracklist For Upcoming 6ix9ine Album

Gala aka Gala Rizzatto hiding behind a music stand. By Oddball Times

Behind The Lyrics: Freed From Desire By Gala

Gala's 1996 pop song "Freed From Desire" was a big hit but many people, still to this day, are confused by its meaning. In case you don't remember it, let us refresh your memory. The chorus contained these catchy lyrics: "My lover's got no money, he's got his Trumbalese". But what's a Trumbalese we hear … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Freed From Desire By Gala

A heist blueprint involving stealing keys

The Key Cutting Caper: How Key Workers Ruined My Pandemic Pilferage

Having read the government's statement about certain people being asked to continue working whilst the rest of us stay at home (due to this pesky joint US/Chinese lab-rat-bat virus pandemic) I felt very happy. Without divulging my methods, I recently "happened upon" my neighbour's shed key in order to "borrow" his lawnmower and so I … Continue reading The Key Cutting Caper: How Key Workers Ruined My Pandemic Pilferage

Russell Hornsby as Lincoln Rhyme in Hunt For The Bone Collector searching for Bone Thugs-N-Harmony albums

Sky Witness, No Surrender: A Review Of The Bone Collector

I don't know about you, but I'm not impressed with the TV series Lincoln Rhyme: Hunt For The Bone Collector, in fact it's not much better than the 1999 Denzel Washington film. The problems with the show are vast: it's not set in St. Clair, there's no crossroads anywhere to be seen, and there is … Continue reading Sky Witness, No Surrender: A Review Of The Bone Collector

A cartoon of two white nationalists in face masks lying on the floor after assulting each other

Confusing Times For Gammon: Inadvertent Self-Hatred Amidst The Coronavirus

In this difficult time, spare a thought for all the right-wing Islamophobes out there. After railing against halal meat and burkas for two decades, gammon across the nation now find themselves in a bit of a pickle. Since traditional supermarket shelves are being emptied by panic buyers, the only place to buy food is at … Continue reading Confusing Times For Gammon: Inadvertent Self-Hatred Amidst The Coronavirus

A parody image of Harrods paracetamol and Fortnum & Mason toilet paper

We Have Our Limits: COVID-19 Panic Buying Affecting All Establishments

After a flurry of panic buying and hoarding, supermarkets across Britain have put limits into place. Tesco, Sainsbury's and Asda have all put a three-product limit on various grocery items but what about other retailers? I haven't heard anything on the news about Fortnum & Mason. Can I only purchase three tins of Baerii Caviar? … Continue reading We Have Our Limits: COVID-19 Panic Buying Affecting All Establishments

A cartoon of a Petri dish with The Walking Dead logo inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: The Walking Dead Edition

Pay close attention to the cast of The Walking Dead and you'll notice that some of those folks look kinda familiar. There must be a clone lab somewhere in Georgia because this show is full of them! Actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan who plays “Negan” is a clone of actor Javier Bardem... Actor Danai Gurira who … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: The Walking Dead Edition

An image of an autonomous vehicle

Testing My Patience: The Problem With Autonomous Vehicles

This week I've been up and down the country testing driverless vehicles. Apparently you can hire self-driving, robotic cars from various companies so I thought I'd give a few of them a go. Oh how disappointed I was... all of the so-called "self-drive" vans I attempted to road test wouldn't follow any of my commands! … Continue reading Testing My Patience: The Problem With Autonomous Vehicles

A parody advert for olive oil using a scene from Last Tango In Paris

Putting The Rape Into Rapeseed Oil And The Butt Into Butter: My Idea For An Olive Oil Advert

What's better for your health? Cooking with butter or cooking with oil? Experts say that butter isn't all that bad, it contains many nutrients including Vitamin K2 (and other letter and number combinations). But I'm not here to say what health benefits there are or to tell you the smoke-point stats, I just need a … Continue reading Putting The Rape Into Rapeseed Oil And The Butt Into Butter: My Idea For An Olive Oil Advert

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Yungblud and Fairuza Balk inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Yungblud And Fairuza Balk

This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is singer YUNGBLUD (real name Dominic Richard Harrison) and actor Fairuza Balk. Just look at the resemblance! Fairuza Balk starred in the film The Craft in which four outcast teens took part in rituals and cast various spells after becoming interested in witchcraft. Aside from the love spells … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Yungblud And Fairuza Balk

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Sara Pascoe and Sara Dallin inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Sara Pascoe And Sara Dallin

  This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is comedian Sara Pascoe and singer Sara Dallin. Just look at the pair's uncanny resemblance! After a quick DNA swab at the London College Of Fashion, Sara Dallin's cells were immediately used to produce a clone. It wasn't just Dallin's group Bananarama that was created in 1981, … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Sara Pascoe And Sara Dallin

A movie poster for a Banksy biopic starring Timothy Spall

Greenlit: Two More Artist Biopics Starring Timothy Spall

After a couple of films in which Timothy Spall played artists J.M.W. Turner and L.S. Lowry, the question remains: will Tim play any more daubers of paint? Will he portray any more makers of assorted objet d'art? The answer is: of course he will! Spall is now set to play the mysterious graffiti artist Banksy … Continue reading Greenlit: Two More Artist Biopics Starring Timothy Spall

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Azealia Banks and William Jackson Harper inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Azealia Banks And William Jackson Harper

If you've ever thought to yourself "what happens when a clone is dropped on its head?", we have the answer! William Jackson Harper's clone Azealia Banks was dropped 212 times whist being transported from Dallas, Texas to Harlem, New York. The crucible tongs that held onto Azealia's forehead slipped multiple times due to her being … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Azealia Banks And William Jackson Harper

Roy Wood of The Move hiding behind a music stand. By Oddball Times

Behind The Lyrics: Blackberry Way By The Move

Remember the late '00s and early '10s when everybody from wannabe business moguls to budding reality stars were clutching a BlackBerry phone, BBM-ing each other like mad? Unfortunately, BlackBerry slowly began to fall out of favour, being replaced by an Apple like Ribena after the sugar tax. Not a lot of people know that the … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Blackberry Way By The Move

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Gemma Collins and Goldie Hawn inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Gemma Collins And Goldie Hawn

Gemma Collins is most definitely the clone of Goldie Hawn. I mean c'mon, when you take a gander at these two, it's obvious... they're so similar-looking that there can't be any other explanation! But what proof do you have we hear you ask? Well, we think it's quite telling that Gemma Collins before becoming a … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Gemma Collins And Goldie Hawn

A caricature of Boris Johnson in blue by Oddball Times

Vote Boris Johnson! Says Boris Johnson

Hello all, I'm Boris Johnson, and in this general election I ask that you disregard my past when you make your selection... I breached Commons expenses rules, I backed the Iraq War I think Tower Hamlets and Bradford want to impose sharia law I've campaigned across England, I've travelled many, many miles Looking for flag-waving … Continue reading Vote Boris Johnson! Says Boris Johnson

A cartoon of a Petri dish with John Quayle and Jack Whitehall inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Jack Whitehall And John Quayle

It's obvious that Michael Whitehall isn't Jack Whitehall's real father; a Conservative supporter in his late 40s couldn't sire a child for goodness sake! It's a well known fact that aside from their haughtiness, Conservative supporters' testes are too wizened from all their pent-up aggression. Jack therefore, did not emanate from Mike's urinary meatus, no, … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jack Whitehall And John Quayle

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Imogen Poots and Helen Mirren inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Imogen Poots And Helen Mirren

You can't keep the truth buried for long folks! We're almost, nearly, sort of, certain that there's a Top Secret Celebrity Clone Lab somewhere in the Queen Charlotte's And Chelsea Hospital in Hammersmith, London. Why do we think that? Well, this is where two of the most famous Hammersmith celebrities were created... or as the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Imogen Poots And Helen Mirren

Anita Ward hiding behind a music stand. By Oddball Times

Behind The Lyrics: Ring My Bell By Anita Ward

Did you know that Anita Ward's disco hit "Ring My Bell" is incorrectly titled? If you listen closely, you'll realise that this song is from the perspective of a sexually frustrated Bell Telephone Company operator. Upon receiving a call, the operator begins to flirt with her customer: “I'm glad you're home, now did you really … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Ring My Bell By Anita Ward

An image of MC Hammer with yellow skin and text Operation: Yellow Hammer

Operation Yellowhammer: Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em

Operation Yellowhammer, a contingency plan subtitled “Reasonable Worst Case Planning Assumptions”, has been cooked-up by the government in case of a "No Deal" Brexit. If that occurs, the folks in charge predict there'll be medication shortages, food supply problems, and protests in the streets. Operation Yellowhammer, if you didn't know, involves 90's “rapper” MC Hammer … Continue reading Operation Yellowhammer: Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Isabela Merced and Jenna Coleman inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Isabela Moner And Jenna Coleman

Blackpool-born Jenna Coleman is most famous for her work in northern soap opera Emmerdale but what many don't know is that a few years before being cast as Jasmine Thomas, her DNA was sampled and placed in some liquid nitrogen that was cleverly hidden in a jar of Coleman's Mustard. Coleman's genes were supposed to … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Isabela Moner And Jenna Coleman

A parody advertisement for Tropicana Sanguinello in the style of The Godfather movie poster. By Oddball Times

An Offer You Can’t Refuse: A Tropicana Sanguinello Advertising Idea

Francis Ford Coppola has been messing with his movies over the last decade or so, needlessly lengthening films such as Apocalypse Now and The Outsiders. Whether he's ruined his own films by re-editing them or not (and he has) the fact that he doesn't mind fiddling with his own creations surely means that my idea … Continue reading An Offer You Can’t Refuse: A Tropicana Sanguinello Advertising Idea

A billboard ad promoting Grillz by Oddball Times

All Work And No Pay Makes Jack’s Bling Dull Bwoy: A Grillz Advertising Idea

Here's my idea for an an advert promoting Grillz. “Grills” I hear you say, like George Foreman? Of course not silly, I'm referring to Grillz spelled with a "z", you know, the gold teeth that used to look cool back in the '90s but now they're corny as f... well, never mind who wears what … Continue reading All Work And No Pay Makes Jack’s Bling Dull Bwoy: A Grillz Advertising Idea

Jonas Blue and Tiesto hiding behind a music stand. By Oddball Times

Behind The Lyrics: Ritual By Tiësto, Jonas Blue And Rita Ora

The song “Ritual” isn't about a ritual at all, no, it's all about how a relationship can be paradoxically both fulfilling and demanding or rewarding and punishing. The writers chose wool to be the metaphor for love (and your lover) because it's both warming and irritating. Just listen to the chorus once more, Rita Ora … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Ritual By Tiësto, Jonas Blue And Rita Ora

An image of Donald Trump looking at the department of justice seal. By Oddball Times

No Justice, No Hairpiece: A Subliminal Image Of Donald Trump At The Department Of Justice

Remember when Donald Trump said he could stand on New York’s Fifth Avenue and “shoot somebody” and still not lose any voters? Unfortunately this is true. The Teflon Don can pretty much do and say whatever he wants without any repercussions. No matter how many times he lies and cheats Trump never ever faces justice, … Continue reading No Justice, No Hairpiece: A Subliminal Image Of Donald Trump At The Department Of Justice

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Sylvester Stallone and Rock Hudson inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Sylvester Stallone And Rock Hudson

Over the years, The Celebrity Clone Lab have created 26 clones of Rock Hudson, the first was code-named “Rock-A” and the last one “Rock-Z”. It was however, the 25th clone “Rock-Y” that was the most successful and he also made it as a Hollywood actor. Given his success, Rock-Y was then nicknamed “Sylvester The Clone” … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Sylvester Stallone And Rock Hudson

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Rochelle Humes and Donna Summer inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Rochelle Humes And Donna Summer

This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Rochelle Humes, who if you don't already know, is the clone of Donna Summer, just look at the resemblance! In 1988, Donna Summer came to the UK to make an album with Stock, Aitken, and Waterman. During the recording of Another Place In Time, Summer's DNA was … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Rochelle Humes And Donna Summer