A cartoon of a man yelling "woke" at movie posters

It’s No Joke: White Bloke Says Go Woke Go Broke

From the M-She-U to Get Out, Us and Nope It’s clear Hollywood is going woke I’m white, really straight, a real man’s man So minorities in movies, I really can’t stand   This is a brand new thing, so I’m gonna go back To a time when the clapperboard was the only thing black I’m going back in time and I’m not stopping Back when … Continue reading It’s No Joke: White Bloke Says Go Woke Go Broke

Stranger Things Spin-Offs logo by Oddball Times

Stranger Things Spin-Offs: Pitching From The Upside Down

We have a couple of years to wait for the final season of Stranger Things, but in the meantime we can console ourselves with the fact that there’ll be a spin-off show. But what will that look like you ask? Forget what Finn Wolfhard supposedly guessed, here’s our very own amazing set of ideas, and if any of them get made, we want credit and … Continue reading Stranger Things Spin-Offs: Pitching From The Upside Down

Glen Burtnik behind a music stand in a Bill & Ted font

Behind The Lyrics: Not So Far Away By Glen Burtnik

If you’re a fan of the film Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (and if you’re not you should be), you’ve probably mouthed the song “Not So Far Away” by former Styx member Glen Burtnik. But is that what Glen’s really singing? We’re not so sure, it sounds more like “Your nuts are far away”. Maybe this song is about an old man whose testis have … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Not So Far Away By Glen Burtnik

Post Malone hiding behind a music stand. By Oddball Times

Behind The Lyrics: Motley Crew By Post Malone

Stomach cramps and pre-menstrual tension apparently aren’t a problem for Post Malone, who in his song “Motley Crew” tells us he gets “the calmest periods”. Post lets the listener into his trick to getting a light menstruation, and apparently it’s down to wearing an old-fashioned sanitary belt and resting in an up-market Las Vegas hotel whilst covered in ice cubes. Posty sings “Count up the … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Motley Crew By Post Malone

An image of a spiky green horse chestnut seed aka conker aka buckeye that looks like a Coronavirus cell

The Coronavirus Is Still Out There: We’re Not Even Safe In Our Streets!

As always, the government is right! COVID’s everywhere… so be aware. I found one COVID virus waiting idly by a horse chestnut tree, probably waiting to pounce on a passer by (It’s bigger than on TV). Being an investigative reporter I had to ask it some questions. With my mic two metres away and mask fully on, I asked it why it was so eager … Continue reading The Coronavirus Is Still Out There: We’re Not Even Safe In Our Streets!

A cartoon illustration of a bird being released but still wearing a mask

Freedom Day: Not To Be Confused With Actual Freedom

Freedom Day didn’t happen on 21st June, it was delayed until 19th July, but never mind. With a week to go, I can’t wait for all the freedom we’ll be given: Free to walk without the 2 metre restriction Free to keep my hands filthy Free to slap the helmet off a policeman Free to burgle my local bank Free to rape, kill, commit mass … Continue reading Freedom Day: Not To Be Confused With Actual Freedom

A cartoon of an angry pot shouting "black"

Outdated Idioms: Pot Calling The Kettle Black

Look out folks! There’s a racist sentient cooking pot lurking about somewhere, a pot who gets off on bullying kettles. In this pot’s outdated mind, being “black” is apparently a bad thing, but wait, reports are coming in that this pot is itself black! What a nerve. So that means it’s a self-hating, sentient cooking pot who teases kettles, kettles which are mostly stainless steel … Continue reading Outdated Idioms: Pot Calling The Kettle Black

Will Downing hiding behind a music stand. By Oddball Times

Behind The Lyrics: A Love Supreme By Will Downing

I bet you didn’t know that “A Love Supreme” by Will Downing is an ode to his favourite pizza; The Supreme… pepperoni, sausage, bell peppers, onions, olives… mmm, we’re surprised a song hadn’t been written about this slice of culinary heaven much earlier! Click the YouTube video below and listen to Will serenade the pizza delivery guy bringing his favourite deep pan delight, recalling all … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: A Love Supreme By Will Downing

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Chris Farley and James Corden inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: James Corden And Chris Farley

Some people have twigged that James Corden is a clone of Chris Farley, especially when they realise Corden’s career began just when Farley died… how very convenient. What’s disappointing about this particular clone is that whether starring in a Tango advert or Gavin & Stacey, James isn’t very funny. Maybe the folk at CBS thought there’d be some residual personality left from Chris’ DNA or … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: James Corden And Chris Farley

Brenda Lee hiding behind a music stand. By Oddball Times

Behind The Lyrics: Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree By Brenda Lee

Christmas is a very stressful time; cooking the Turkey and preparing all the trimmings, and getting the timing just right so that everything is ready all at the same time. That’s probably why writer Johnny Marks and singer Brenda Lee included the lyric “later we’ll have some fucking pie!” in their Christmas song “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree”. Take a listen to the song below … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree By Brenda Lee