A cartoon of a Petri dish with Peter Safran and Jeff Bezos inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Jeff Bezos And Peter Safran

Way before Amazon existed, there was a mail order store called Congo owned and operated by the Celebrity Clone Lab who were located in a classified rainforest laboratory at the time. In the Congo, there was a fantastic gene recommendation system which was developed to sort all the celeb clones and if you know where … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jeff Bezos And Peter Safran

Elton John and Bernie Taupin hiding behind a music stand. By Oddball Times

Behind The Lyrics: Tiny Dancer By Elton John

This week in our ever-popular Behind The Lyrics segment is Elton John's song "Tiny Dancer" from his 1971 album Madman Across The Water. The '70s were of course a time for drug taking and music making and the genesis of this song isn't any different. Everybody knows that cocaine was Elton John's favourite substance back … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Tiny Dancer By Elton John

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Jeremy Dyson and Peter Sutcliffe the Yorkshire Ripper inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Peter Sutcliffe And Jeremy Dyson

Today in the Celebrity Clone Lab is screenwriter and writer Jeremy Dyson. If you don't know, he's the clone of serial killer Peter Sutcliffe! You simply need to look at the pair's thick, black, wavy hair to see that they are genetically linked but if you want more evidence we have it here... Before being … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Peter Sutcliffe And Jeremy Dyson

A parody billboard advertisement for Gorilla Tape. By Oddball Times

In A Sticky Situation: Gorilla Tape Advertising Idea

I've come up with another great idea for an advert! This one's for Gorilla Tape, an adhesive tape manufactured by Gorilla Glue Inc. The concept of my ad is simple; ever noticed how serial killers, rapists, kidnappers and other assorted wrongdoers always use Duck Tape to tie-up their victims? Whether it's in the news or … Continue reading In A Sticky Situation: Gorilla Tape Advertising Idea

YXNG Bane hiding behind a music stand. By Oddball Times

Behind The Lyrics: Needed Time By YXNG Bane

“Needed Time” is a very unique song by R&B singer YXNG Bane. The song, which is an ode to all things doughy, is from the perspective of a pâtissier. If you've ever baked yourself, you'll know that sometimes your cake batter can split and YXNG Bane tackles this subject without any fear. The track features … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Needed Time By YXNG Bane

A bottle of Yakult and some flavoured dental dams placed over the Japanese flag. By Oddball Times

Gaining Carnal Knowledge: The Art Of Seduction In Japan With The Help Of Yakult

I've always wanted to visit Japan; for the food, the sites, the technology, but more specifically the gorgeous women. Unfortunately I don't speak Japanese but after watching the idents by Yakult which air on the Food Network, I think I have all the phrases I'll require in the event of a sexual encounter (especially of … Continue reading Gaining Carnal Knowledge: The Art Of Seduction In Japan With The Help Of Yakult

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Ted Bundy and George Hebert Walker Bush inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Ted Bundy And George H. W. Bush

This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is George H. W. Bush and Ted Bundy, just look at the uncanny resemblance! The interesting thing about this pair is that one was programmed to go into politics and the other was supposed to become a mass murderer. Unfortunately, even as a Republican, Ted Bundy failed to … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Ted Bundy And George H. W. Bush

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Ice-T and Peter Dinklage inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Ice-T And Peter Dinklage

This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is actor Peter Hayden Dinklage, who if you don't know, is the clone of rapper Tracy Lauren Marrow (aka Ice-T) just look at the resemblance! Before living in Crenshaw, Los Angeles, Ice-T was born and raised in New Jersey and that's where a swab of his DNA was … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Ice-T And Peter Dinklage

A cartoon of a Christmas tree felling. By Oddball Times

My Annual Tree: A Christmas Tradition

I am lucky enough to have a substantial garden inherited from my first wife Audrey. This allows me to choose my desired tree from within my own property. I use my newly-acquired 500W Scorpion Handsaw to chop down the magnificent tree. I then tie the branches with 4mm strong utility nylon rope to make sure … Continue reading My Annual Tree: A Christmas Tradition

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Paul O'Grady and Tim Cook inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Tim Cook And Paul O’Grady

I'm sure you'll agree that there's little to no originality at Apple since Steve Jobs passed in 2011. There's no more innovation, no more creativity, no more design risks being taken, in fact it's plain to everybody that Apple has lost its mojo. This may have something to do with the company's CEO Tim Cook … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Tim Cook And Paul O’Grady

Kodak Black hiding behind a music stand. By Oddball Times

Behind The Lyrics: ZEZE By Kodak Black

In Kodak Black's latest track featuring Travis Scott and Offset, he reveals that he enjoys comic books, that he's had sex with comedian and presenter Stephen Fry, that he's a fan of comedian Peter Kay, plus he watches Indian satellite channels and he may even be Jewish! (at least that's we think he's saying). But … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: ZEZE By Kodak Black

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Colin Powell and Lewis Black inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Colin Powell And Lewis Black

This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is comedian Lewis Black. If you don't know, he's the clone of retired four-star general and ex-secretary of state Colin Powell! Colin Powell, if you don't remember, was the bloke who gave that remarkable presentation to the U.N. in 2003. Colin was confident that Iraq had weapons of … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Colin Powell And Lewis Black

A cartoon illustration of a pumpkin with a carving knife and blood on the floor to signify Halloween. By Oddball Times

May Contain Nutjobs: The Origins Of Halloween

After eating an entire packet of Nerds, two packets of popping candy, and spending a whopping four minutes on the internet, I've discovered the following about Halloween and its origins... Pumpkin Carving: This tradition dates back to Britain when a 3 year old boy named Sam Hain decided that he hated eating his vegetables, in … Continue reading May Contain Nutjobs: The Origins Of Halloween

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Daisy Ridley and Rhys James inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Daisy Ridley And Rhys James

This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is actor Daisy Ridley. If you don't already know, she's the clone of comedian Rhys James. Now of course, the mainstream media will tell you that Daisy Ridley is a descendant of landed gentry, the great-niece of a Dad's Army actor, and the daughter of a banker and … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Daisy Ridley And Rhys James

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Stacey Dooley and Jane Asher inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Stacey Dooley And Jane Asher

This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is TV presenter Stacey Dooley. If you don't know, she's the clone of actor Jane Asher! Now you may say that Dooley isn't a perfect copy of Asher and you'd be right. Records indicate that the Celebrity Clone Lab intended to create a perfect clone of Jane but … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Stacey Dooley And Jane Asher

An image of Paul Hollywood as a baby by Oddball Times

The Great British Mix-Up: Paul Hollywood’s Long Lost Brothers

Did you know that Paul Hollywood, celebrity chef and judge of The Great British Bake Off, is one of a septuplet? Well it's true! Paul's father John who was a bakery proprietor, attempted to inseminate his wife with a baker's dozen but unfortunately, his multiple birth fell short of its target. In the end, Paul's … Continue reading The Great British Mix-Up: Paul Hollywood’s Long Lost Brothers

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Phil Lynott and Craig David inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Phil Lynott and Craig David

After the phenomenally successful career of Phil Lynott (with and without Thin Lizzy) the scientists at the Celebrity Clone Lab stored Phil's cells for later use, with the hopes of perhaps creating a similarly successful artist for the noughties' generation. The laboratory was very careful with the precious cells as they set about creating the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Phil Lynott and Craig David

A parody movie poster for an Andy Serkis biopic. By Oddball Times

Greenlit: A Big-Budget Andy Serkis Biopic

The life of Andy Serkis is to be told as a big-budget Hollywood movie sources tell us. The story of a young lad from Ruislip Manor going on to college, studying theatre and eventually becoming the foremost Motion Capture performer, has been green-lit for production. Studio executives have said that because of the popularity of … Continue reading Greenlit: A Big-Budget Andy Serkis Biopic

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Sandra Bullock and Michael Jackson inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Sandra Bullock And Michael Jackson

This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Sandra Bullock, if you haven't already realised, she's a clone of Michael Jackson. Just look at the resemblance! When or where this cloning took place is a mystery but maybe Sandra's father John Bullock being a contractor for The Pentagon or her grandfather being a German rocket … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Sandra Bullock And Michael Jackson

A cartoon image of a pig with the gammon section being interviewed by a reporter. By Oddball Times

Gammon: Getting To The Bottom Of Things

The farm I visited today had a couple of unhappy pigs, not because they were being intensively farmed, were living in bad conditions, being fed non-organic swill, and not because they were going to slaughter very soon. Their gripe was about something altogether different. They said that even though they would prefer not to have … Continue reading Gammon: Getting To The Bottom Of Things

A parody of the Build-A-Bear Workshop logo with masonic symbolism. By Oddball Times

If You Go Down In The Woods Today: En Route To The Bilderberg Group

What the masonic hell is going on?! I made all the necessary preparations to infiltrate this year's Bilderberg Group Meeting, I took my camera, my placard saying “I'm with Alex Jones“ (I was planning on getting her autograph later, love The One Show on the BBC), I also took some sandwiches and a flask of … Continue reading If You Go Down In The Woods Today: En Route To The Bilderberg Group

A cartoon of a petri dish with Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall and Harry Hill inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Harry Hill And Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall

This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is TV chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. If you don't already know, he's the clone of slap-head comedian Harry Hill. Harry Hill's breakout 90's BBC Radio 4 show was called “Harry Hill's Fruit Corner” and his follow-up TV show for BBC Two was called “Fruit Fancies”. Then in the 00's, … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Harry Hill And Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall

An image of Fox News Chris Wallace in Notorious Big's Ready To Die album cover. By Oddball Times

Christopher Wallace Is Trying To Out-Fox Us All

The other day my TV broke, so in a frenzy, I walked over to my neighbour's house, a Friend Of Mine and Kicked Down The Door. My neighbour was watching a programme called Fox News Sunday presented by none other than Christopher Wallace. I did a double take, Christopher Wallace on Fox News? Unbelievable! Now … Continue reading Christopher Wallace Is Trying To Out-Fox Us All

An image of Netta Barzilai alongside Harvey Weinstein showing that they look similar

Harvey Weinstein’s Secret Therapy: What It’s Like Being A Woman

Shortly after the world discovered that Harvey Weinstein was an alleged sexual harasser, sexual assaulter, and rapist, the man went under the radar and seemingly dropped off the map. There were reports that he was “in treatment” but people are now beginning to ask “what treatment?” and “where?”. Well, we have an exclusive for you … Continue reading Harvey Weinstein’s Secret Therapy: What It’s Like Being A Woman

An image of a salt shaker containing 50% less salt. By Oddball Times

Cutting Your Intake By Half: How The Government Plans To Further Reduce Sugar And Salt

“This government isn't for raising taxes, we're for cutting taxes, in fact we're known for cuts, that's why we introduced a Sugar Tax, not to raise money from it but to cut the sugar from your diet.” That was the statement given by the Minister Of Duplicity today who went on to say that the … Continue reading Cutting Your Intake By Half: How The Government Plans To Further Reduce Sugar And Salt

A cartoon of a petri dish with Lee Evans and Fred West inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Lee Evans And Fred West

This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is stand-up comedian Lee Evans. If you don't know, he's the clone of serial killer Fred West! Oddball Times doesn't have much evidence of this particular celeb cloning as the files were lost, destroyed, or buried somewhere in Gloucester but just take a look at the resemblance; the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Lee Evans And Fred West

A cartoon image of Malcolm X in a superhero costume. By Oddball Times

Cultural Appropriation Month: Black Superheroes

I was wondering the other day, when Professor Xavier opened his X-Mansion at 1407 Graymalkin Lane, Salem Center, Westchester County, New York and gathered his X-Men, why amongst Wolverine, Rogue, Jean Grey, Cyclops, Beast and Gambit didn't they include Malcolm? He lived and worked in New York so he wouldn't have had far to travel … Continue reading Cultural Appropriation Month: Black Superheroes

A cartoon illustration of Dyson vacuums in a post-apocalyptic wasteland with a mushroom cloud. By Oddball Times

Beware Of Dyson’s Creations: Predictions Of Our Future In Terminator 2

The movie Terminator 2: Judgment Day was very prophetic; we now have drones in the sky gunning people down, robots are evolving on a daily basis, and with Google, Alexa, Siri and Cortana, we're moving ever-closer to a Skynet-type artificial intelligence overthrowing the human race. So if James Cameron's film accurately predicted our future demise, … Continue reading Beware Of Dyson’s Creations: Predictions Of Our Future In Terminator 2

A cartoon illustration of an active school shooter in the rubble of a dismantled school building. By Oddball Times

From Swots to SWAT: The Obvious Solution To Prevent School Shootings

Every time there's a school shooting, politicians, pundits, and members of the public question what we should change... Maybe we should arm the teachers? Err... no, imagine your worst P.E. teacher with a Glock? Terrible idea. Okay, so maybe we should place body scanners in all schools? Err... no, imagine all the nonce security guards … Continue reading From Swots to SWAT: The Obvious Solution To Prevent School Shootings