Category: Alternative Comedy

Brenda Lee hiding behind a music stand. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Behind The Lyrics, Music

Behind The Lyrics: Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree By Brenda Lee

Christmas is a very stressful time; cooking the Turkey and preparing all the trimmings, and getting the timing just right so that everything is ready all at the same time. That’s probably why writer Johnny Marks and singer Brenda Lee included the lyric “later we’ll have some fucking pie!” in their Christmas song “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree”. Take a listen to the song below … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree By Brenda Lee

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Coronavirus wearing santa hats alongside oranges with cloves in them
Alternative Comedy, Life, News, Topical Comedy

Looking Closely At The Coronavirus: Why Christmas Rules Are So Different

After hearing the recent news about Xmas 2020 celebrations here in the UK, you might be thinking to yourself “why is the government allowing a three-house bubble during Christmas?”. Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs and Jews didn’t get to extend their “bubble” during their festivals so what’s so special about this Christian holiday? With the Coronavirus in full infectious swing, what’s going to stop our family and … Continue reading Looking Closely At The Coronavirus: Why Christmas Rules Are So Different

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A mock advertisement for Buford Tannen eggs
Advertising, Alternative Comedy, Food, Life, Products

The Inner Workings Of A Designer’s Mind: My Eggs Have Scrambled

It’s great being an out of work graphic designer. You’re free to create designs nobody asked for as you cry into your egg yolk-stained onesie. Speaking of eggs, here’s an advert for some posh chicken period ovoids I found in the shop… Continue reading The Inner Workings Of A Designer’s Mind: My Eggs Have Scrambled

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Sergio Calderon and Steve Wozniak inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab, Technology

Celebrity Clone Lab: Steve Wozniak And Sergio Calderón

One thing you’ll never hear at an Apple Event is how the company is secretly involved in cloning. It’s obvious to most people that Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak is a clone of actor Sergio Calderón and yet nobody, not even current CEO Tim Cook (who, by the way is also a clone) will ever mention it on stage. This is very strange because Apple has … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Steve Wozniak And Sergio Calderón

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Michael Cohen and Jim Van Bebber inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab

Celebrity Clone Lab: Jim Van Bebber And Michael Cohen

A little known fact is that most geneticists are fans and collectors of micro-budget 80’s action movies. We’re not talking Chuck Norris or Michael Dudikoff, oh no, these scientists have a very niche taste, and it can only be fulfilled with the cheapest, most underground films. This fanaticism sometimes leaks into their work. Proof of this comes when you see disgraced lawyer Michael Cohen; he … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jim Van Bebber And Michael Cohen

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A side by side image of Rishi Sunak and Roddy from Flushed Away
Alternative Comedy, Film, Politics

He’s Flush: The Source Of Rishi Sunak’s Investments

It’s a five hour drive from Stanford to Glendale, a trip that Rishi Sunak once took whilst attending Stanford University in California. In 2006 just before graduating, he was spotted lurking around outside Dreamworks Animation in Glendale and was immediately cast in Flushed Away as the lead upper class rat “Roddy”. Influenced by his role and clutching a cheque from Aardman, Rishi moved into a … Continue reading He’s Flush: The Source Of Rishi Sunak’s Investments

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Diplo and David Bromstad inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab, Music

Celebrity Clone Lab: Diplo And David Bromstad

In case you didn’t realise, DJ and producer Diplo aka Thomas Wesley Pentz is the clone of designer and television personality David Reed Bromstad. In the 1970’s, the Celebrity Clone Lab had three laboratories located in Florida; one in Sarasota County, one in Orange County and one in Miami-Dade. We have no idea which lab created which celebrity but the fact that Diplo attended the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Diplo And David Bromstad

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M-22 and Medina hiding behind a music stand. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Behind The Lyrics, Music

Behind The Lyrics: First Time By M-22 And Medina

“First Time” by M-22 and Medina is a very unique pop song because the lyrics involve D.I.Y., a topic seldom found in the charts. The track is from the perspective of a couple, one a seasoned renovator and one who’s never undertaken any home improvements. After restoring their old fireplace surround, the newbie becomes hooked on D.I.Y. and sings… “You, got me feeling something it’s … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: First Time By M-22 And Medina

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Greta Thunberg and Stephen Merchant inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab

Celebrity Clone Lab: Greta Thunberg And Stephen Merchant

At 6.7 miles high, Stephen James Merchant is the first to feel the effects of air pollution. Stephen Merchant is so tall in fact, that he can personally observe the hole in the ozone layer! Fearing that rising greenhouse gas emissions may adversely effect Merchant’s nostrils and eventually his noggin, the Celebrity Clone Lab took a sample of his DNA during the writing of the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Greta Thunberg And Stephen Merchant

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Weiss aka Richard Dinsdale hiding behind a music stand. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Behind The Lyrics, Music

Behind The Lyrics: Feel My Needs (Turn Around) By Weiss

“Feel My Needs”, we’re sure you’ll agree, is a very unique song. The track is all about someone visiting an orthopaedic specialist because they think something’s wrong… with their knees of course. The doctor however, sees an issue in the popliteal fossa (the back of the knees). Listen to the song once more and you’ll hear the patient say “feel my knees” to which the … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Feel My Needs (Turn Around) By Weiss

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Tucker Carlson and Ed Conway inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab

Celebrity Clone Lab: Tucker Carlson And Ed Conway

This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Fox News talk show host Tucker Carlson. In case you didn’t know, his clone Ed Conway works at Sky News as an Economics Editor. Tucker is a typical Fox News presenter (anti this, that phobic and most “ists”) so thank heavens that his clone Ed Conway is only concerned with color… the colour of your money that is. … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Tucker Carlson And Ed Conway

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Gala aka Gala Rizzatto hiding behind a music stand. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Behind The Lyrics, Music, Products

Behind The Lyrics: Freed From Desire By Gala

Gala’s 1996 pop song “Freed From Desire” was a big hit but many people, still to this day, are confused by its meaning. In case you don’t remember it, let us refresh your memory. The chorus contained these catchy lyrics: “My lover’s got no money, he’s got his Trumbalese”. But what’s a Trumbalese we hear you ask? Well The Trumbalese (sometimes misspelled Trombolyse) was a … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Freed From Desire By Gala

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A heist blueprint involving stealing keys
Alternative Comedy, Anecdotal Comedy, Life, Topical Comedy

The Key Cutting Caper: How Key Workers Ruined My Pandemic Pilferage

Having read the government’s statement about certain people being asked to continue working whilst the rest of us stay at home (due to this pesky joint US/Chinese lab-rat-bat virus pandemic) I felt very happy. Without divulging my methods, I recently “happened upon” my neighbour’s shed key in order to “borrow” his lawnmower and so I used my one-hour allocated exercise period to take it to … Continue reading The Key Cutting Caper: How Key Workers Ruined My Pandemic Pilferage

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Russell Hornsby as Lincoln Rhyme in Hunt For The Bone Collector searching for Bone Thugs-N-Harmony albums
Alternative Comedy, Music, Television, Topical Comedy

Sky Witness, No Surrender: A Review Of The Bone Collector

I don’t know about you, but I’m not impressed with the TV series Lincoln Rhyme: Hunt For The Bone Collector, in fact it’s not much better than the 1999 Denzel Washington film. The problems with the show are vast: it’s not set in St. Clair, there’s no crossroads anywhere to be seen, and there is absolutely no mention of Mr. Ouija! Yes, there’s a few … Continue reading Sky Witness, No Surrender: A Review Of The Bone Collector

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A cartoon of two white nationalists in face masks lying on the floor after assulting each other
Alternative Comedy, Food, Life, Politics, Topical Comedy

Confusing Times For Gammon: Inadvertent Self-Hatred Amidst The Coronavirus

In this difficult time, spare a thought for all the right-wing Islamophobes out there. After railing against halal meat and burkas for two decades, gammon across the nation now find themselves in a bit of a pickle. Since traditional supermarket shelves are being emptied by panic buyers, the only place to buy food is at their local Asian mini-marts. After swallowing their pride and donning … Continue reading Confusing Times For Gammon: Inadvertent Self-Hatred Amidst The Coronavirus

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A parody image of Harrods paracetamol and Fortnum & Mason toilet paper
Alternative Comedy, Food, Life, News, Politics, Topical Comedy

We Have Our Limits: COVID-19 Panic Buying Affecting All Establishments

After a flurry of panic buying and hoarding, supermarkets across Britain have put limits into place. Tesco, Sainsbury’s and Asda have all put a three-product limit on various grocery items but what about other retailers? I haven’t heard anything on the news about Fortnum & Mason. Can I only purchase three tins of Baerii Caviar? It’s only an “entry level caviar” and at £55.00 per … Continue reading We Have Our Limits: COVID-19 Panic Buying Affecting All Establishments

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A parody advert for olive oil using a scene from Last Tango In Paris
Advertising, Alternative Comedy, Film, Food

Putting The Rape Into Rapeseed Oil And The Butt Into Butter: My Idea For An Olive Oil Advert

What’s better for your health? Cooking with butter or cooking with oil? Experts say that butter isn’t all that bad, it contains many nutrients including Vitamin K2 (and other letter and number combinations). But I’m not here to say what health benefits there are or to tell you the smoke-point stats, I just need a marketing ploy to get rid of the two dozen boxes … Continue reading Putting The Rape Into Rapeseed Oil And The Butt Into Butter: My Idea For An Olive Oil Advert

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Yungblud and Fairuza Balk inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab

Celebrity Clone Lab: Yungblud And Fairuza Balk

This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is singer YUNGBLUD (real name Dominic Richard Harrison) and actor Fairuza Balk. Just look at the resemblance! Fairuza Balk starred in the film The Craft in which four outcast teens took part in rituals and cast various spells after becoming interested in witchcraft. Aside from the love spells and the hair-loss spells, one deleted scene featured Balk’s character … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Yungblud And Fairuza Balk

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Sara Pascoe and Sara Dallin inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab

Celebrity Clone Lab: Sara Pascoe And Sara Dallin

  This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is comedian Sara Pascoe and singer Sara Dallin. Just look at the pair’s uncanny resemblance! After a quick DNA swab at the London College Of Fashion, Sara Dallin’s cells were immediately used to produce a clone. It wasn’t just Dallin’s group Bananarama that was created in 1981, so too was Pascoe! Sara Pascoe was gestated in a … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Sara Pascoe And Sara Dallin

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A movie poster for a Banksy biopic starring Timothy Spall
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Film

Greenlit: Two More Artist Biopics Starring Timothy Spall

After a couple of films in which Timothy Spall played artists J.M.W. Turner and L.S. Lowry, the question remains: will Tim play any more daubers of paint? Will he portray any more makers of assorted objet d’art? The answer is: of course he will! Spall is now set to play the mysterious graffiti artist Banksy and tapestry and vase creator Grayson Perry. Oh, how the … Continue reading Greenlit: Two More Artist Biopics Starring Timothy Spall

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Azealia Banks and William Jackson Harper inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab

Celebrity Clone Lab: Azealia Banks And William Jackson Harper

If you’ve ever thought to yourself “what happens when a clone is dropped on its head?”, we have the answer! William Jackson Harper’s clone Azealia Banks was dropped 212 times whist being transported from Dallas, Texas to Harlem, New York. The crucible tongs that held onto Azealia’s forehead slipped multiple times due to her being so slimy and that’s probably the reason for her peculiar … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Azealia Banks And William Jackson Harper

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Roy Wood of The Move hiding behind a music stand. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Behind The Lyrics, Music

Behind The Lyrics: Blackberry Way By The Move

Remember the late ’00s and early ’10s when everybody from wannabe business moguls to budding reality stars were clutching a BlackBerry phone, BBM-ing each other like mad? Unfortunately, BlackBerry slowly began to fall out of favour, being replaced by an Apple like Ribena after the sugar tax. Not a lot of people know that the song “Blackberry Way” by The Move was actually about the … Continue reading Behind The Lyrics: Blackberry Way By The Move

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Gemma Collins and Goldie Hawn inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab

Celebrity Clone Lab: Gemma Collins And Goldie Hawn

Gemma Collins is most definitely the clone of Goldie Hawn. I mean c’mon, when you take a gander at these two, it’s obvious… they’re so similar-looking that there can’t be any other explanation! But what proof do you have we hear you ask? Well, we think it’s quite telling that Gemma Collins before becoming a reality star, was a used car seller and lo and … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Gemma Collins And Goldie Hawn

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