I am lucky enough to have a substantial garden inherited from my first wife Audrey. This allows me to choose my desired tree from within my own property. I use my newly-acquired 500W Scorpion Handsaw to chop down the magnificent tree. I then tie the branches with 4mm strong utility nylon rope to make sure … Continue reading My Annual Tree: A Christmas Tradition
Today I thought I'd give Absolute Radio a go I tuned into Absolute Rock and heard The Quo I didn't think much of it so I pressed “scan” Absolute 80s was playing Duran Duran Finally I found Absolute 90s on my dials Only to be confronted by Robert Miles To be honest after all this … Continue reading 80s & 90s Radio: Absolutely Not What I Was Listening To!
What the masonic hell is going on?! I made all the necessary preparations to infiltrate this year's Bilderberg Group Meeting, I took my camera, my placard saying “I'm with Alex Jones“ (I was planning on getting her autograph later, love The One Show on the BBC), I also took some sandwiches and a flask of … Continue reading If You Go Down In The Woods Today: En Route To The Bilderberg Group
The other day my TV broke, so in a frenzy, I walked over to my neighbour's house, a Friend Of Mine and Kicked Down The Door. My neighbour was watching a programme called Fox News Sunday presented by none other than Christopher Wallace. I did a double take, Christopher Wallace on Fox News? Unbelievable! Now … Continue reading Christopher Wallace Is Trying To Out-Fox Us All
A popular proverb in today's world is “there's no smoke without fire”. People who agree with this adage and who readily use this phrase as justification for unfounded accusations, gathered recently. The group chanted this motto as they marched toward the property of a celebrity who was accused of sexual assault. As the group approached … Continue reading Phony Proverbs: There’s No Smoke Without Fire
Whilst watching breakfast television I'm always intrigued by their health segments and over the last few months I've heard quite a few health-based stories. According to scientists, red wine contains antioxidants and cider contains vitamin C. Research has also found that whiskey aids weight loss and may also help heart health. Cognac which is sometimes … Continue reading What My TV Told Me Today: The Health Benefits Of Alcohol
I heard on the local news a few days ago that the police were having an amnesty on dangerous weapons. They said that people should anonymously surrender any weapons they own without facing any charges... brilliant! As soon as I heard this, I frantically ran around my house looking for any weaponry, and I found … Continue reading Dangerous Weapons Don’t Kill People, Dangerous People Do