The Incredible Casting Crew: Elizabeth Banks As Lady Miss Kier
This time around in our Incredible Casting Crew segment is a biopic about Deee-Lite’s Lady Miss Kier… Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Elizabeth Banks As Lady Miss Kier
Category: Celebrities
Celebrity Clone Lab: Elizabeth Debicki And Caroline Goodall
It might be time travel, it might be time inversion, or maybe it’s leaping through spacetime… Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Elizabeth Debicki And Caroline Goodall
The Incredible Casting Crew: Russell Howard As George Formby
This time in our Incredible Casting Crew segment is a film called “Turned Out Nice Again”, a nine-hour, 4:3 aspect ratio, black and white musical biopic about George Formby played entirely on the ukulele. Russell Howard, who would travel chronologically and in real time through each of Formby’s films, needs to brush-up on the tiny stringed instrument so we can get this made in time … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Russell Howard As George Formby
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Luka Magnotta
Splicing genes to create a clone can have unexpected results! Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Luka Magnotta
Celebrity Clone Lab: Barney Walsh And Tom Hiddleston
Mischievous trickster Loki has only gone and bloomin’ cloned himself! Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Barney Walsh And Tom Hiddleston
Celebrity Clone Lab: James Corden And Chris Farley
Some people have twigged that James Corden is a clone of Chris Farley, especially when they realise Corden’s career began just when Farley died… how very convenient. What’s disappointing about this particular clone is that whether starring in a Tango advert or Gavin & Stacey, James isn’t very funny. Maybe the folk at CBS thought there’d be some residual personality left from Chris’ DNA or … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: James Corden And Chris Farley
The Secret About The Secret Garden: Dixie Egerickx Is Tom Allen In Disguise
Tom Allen, though popular on television, has never really “made it” in the movies. After appearing in bit parts over the years, Tom has finally bagged a lead role! … Continue reading The Secret About The Secret Garden: Dixie Egerickx Is Tom Allen In Disguise
Celebrity Clone Lab: Steve Wozniak And Sergio Calderón
One thing you’ll never hear at an Apple Event is how the company is secretly involved in cloning. It’s obvious to most people that Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak is a clone of actor Sergio Calderón and yet nobody, not even current CEO Tim Cook (who, by the way is also a clone) will ever mention it on stage. This is very strange because Apple has … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Steve Wozniak And Sergio Calderón
The Incredible Casting Crew: Daniel Radcliffe As John Lennon
This week in our Incredible Casting Crew segment is a movie called “Some Time In New York City”. This film is all about the last days of John Lennon’s life but there’s an added twist: there’s a love triangle between John (played by Daniel Radcliffe) his wife Yoko Ono (played by Rinko Kikuchi) and John’s assassin Mark Chapman (played by K. Trevor Wilson). Audience members … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Daniel Radcliffe As John Lennon
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Abby McEnany
There’s a team of geneticists, working in partnership with the Central Intelligence Agency and New York Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medicine who travel between Virginia and New York in a nut-powered underground monorail. How do we know all this? Because Anderson Cooper was an intern at the C.I.A. and Dr. Anthony Fauci interned at the New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center. This pair’s DNA went on to create … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Abby McEnany
Celebrity Clone Lab: Jim Van Bebber And Michael Cohen
A little known fact is that most geneticists are fans and collectors of micro-budget 80’s action movies. We’re not talking Chuck Norris or Michael Dudikoff, oh no, these scientists have a very niche taste, and it can only be fulfilled with the cheapest, most underground films. This fanaticism sometimes leaks into their work. Proof of this comes when you see disgraced lawyer Michael Cohen; he … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jim Van Bebber And Michael Cohen
The Incredible Casting Crew: Mia Wasikowska As Greta Thunberg
This week in our Incredible Casting Crew segment is a film about Greta Thunberg starring Mia Wasikowska. Instead of your bog-standard biopic, our movie will be a Jason Bourne-style action thriller with Greta … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Mia Wasikowska As Greta Thunberg
Celebrity Clone Lab: Diplo And David Bromstad
In case you didn’t realise, DJ and producer Diplo aka Thomas Wesley Pentz is the clone of designer and television personality David Reed Bromstad. In the 1970’s, the Celebrity Clone Lab had three laboratories located in Florida; one in Sarasota County, one in Orange County and one in Miami-Dade. We have no idea which lab created which celebrity but the fact that Diplo attended the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Diplo And David Bromstad
Celebrity Clone Lab: Greta Thunberg And Stephen Merchant
At 6.7 miles high, Stephen James Merchant is the first to feel the effects of air pollution. Stephen Merchant is so tall in fact, that he can personally observe the hole in the ozone layer! Fearing that rising greenhouse gas emissions may adversely effect Merchant’s nostrils and eventually his noggin, the Celebrity Clone Lab took a sample of his DNA during the writing of the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Greta Thunberg And Stephen Merchant
Like White On Rice: My Idea For A Tilda Rice Advert
It’s not just my mate, my mucker, mi old fella mi lad B.I./O.S. who comes up with adverts, I have a marvelous idea for an ad too! This one features actor Tilda Swinton, who thanks to her name, can advertise either Tilda Rice or Swinton Insurance. I assume that since Tilda Swinton played an Asian comic book hero named “The Ancient One” in Marvel’s Doctor … Continue reading Like White On Rice: My Idea For A Tilda Rice Advert
Celebrity Clone Lab: Tucker Carlson And Ed Conway
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Fox News talk show host Tucker Carlson. In case you didn’t know, his clone Ed Conway works at Sky News as an Economics Editor. Tucker is a typical Fox News presenter; racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic and anti-immigration. Thank heavens that his clone Ed Conway is only concerned with the colour of your money. Both were incubated in … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Tucker Carlson And Ed Conway
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Scott Wolf
What do you get if you splice 1 Fox with Mapother to the power of 4? Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Scott Wolf
Celebrity Clone Lab: Jess Conrad And Tom Cruise
In 1961, Jess Conrad went through an existential crisis and this was exhibited in his song “Why Am I Living?”. It was during this time that his DNA was swabbed so a more reliable clone could be created, a clone who was “born” in 1962. Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jess Conrad And Tom Cruise
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Christopher Ciccone
In case you didn’t know, Christopher Ciccone is a hybridised clone made from the spliced genes of comedian Norm MacDonald and film-maker Quentin Tarantino. Norm MacDonald tried to alert the public that his DNA was blended with Quentin Tarantino’s on Saturday Night Live, and yet despite this obvious cry for help, it was dismissed as an “impression”. If you don’t know who Christopher Ciccone is … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Christopher Ciccone
The Incredible Casting Crew: John Malkovich In One Foot In The Grave Reboot
In our latest Incredible Casting Crew segment, we have another fantastic pitch to the entertainment industry. This time it’s a reboot of the classic 90’s sitcom One Foot In The Grave starring none other than John Malkovich! Picture it: a grumpy Victor Meldrew played with the same dark, monotone voice of Cyrus The Virus from Con Air or Mitch Leary from In The Line Of … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: John Malkovich In One Foot In The Grave Reboot
Celebrity Clone Lab: The Walking Dead Edition
Pay close attention to the cast of The Walking Dead and you’ll notice that some of those folks look kinda familiar … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: The Walking Dead Edition
Celebrity Clone Lab: Yungblud And Fairuza Balk
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is singer YUNGBLUD (real name Dominic Richard Harrison) and actor Fairuza Balk. Just look at the resemblance! Fairuza Balk starred in the film The Craft in which four outcast teens took part in rituals and cast various spells after becoming interested in witchcraft. Aside from the love spells and the hair-loss spells, one deleted scene featured Balk’s character … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Yungblud And Fairuza Balk
Celebrity Clone Lab: Sara Pascoe And Sara Dallin
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is comedian Sara Pascoe and singer Sara Dallin. Just look at the pair’s uncanny resemblance! After a quick DNA swab at the London College Of Fashion, Sara Dallin’s cells were immediately used to produce a clone. It wasn’t just Dallin’s group Bananarama that was created in 1981, so too was Pascoe! Sara Pascoe was gestated in a … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Sara Pascoe And Sara Dallin
Greenlit: Two More Artist Biopics Starring Timothy Spall
After a couple of films in which Timothy Spall played artists J.M.W. Turner and L.S. Lowry, the question remains: will Tim play any more daubers of paint? Will he portray any more makers of assorted objet d’art? The answer is: of course he will! Spall is now set to play the mysterious graffiti artist Banksy and tapestry and vase creator Grayson Perry. Oh, how the … Continue reading Greenlit: Two More Artist Biopics Starring Timothy Spall
Celebrity Clone Lab: Azealia Banks And William Jackson Harper
If you’ve ever thought to yourself “what happens when a clone is dropped on its head?”, we have the answer! William Jackson Harper’s clone Azealia Banks was dropped 212 times whist being transported from Dallas, Texas to Harlem, New York. The crucible tongs that held onto Azealia’s forehead slipped multiple times due to her being so slimy and that’s probably the reason for her peculiar … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Azealia Banks And William Jackson Harper
Celebrity Clone Lab: Gemma Collins And Goldie Hawn
Gemma Collins is most definitely the clone of Goldie Hawn. I mean c’mon, when you take a gander at these two, it’s obvious… they’re so similar-looking that there can’t be any other explanation! But what proof do you have we hear you ask? Well, we think it’s quite telling that Gemma Collins before becoming a reality star, was a used car seller and lo and … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Gemma Collins And Goldie Hawn
Vote Boris Johnson! Says Boris Johnson
Hello all, I’m Boris Johnson, and in this general election, I ask that you disregard my past when you make your selection… I breached Commons expenses rules, I backed the Iraq War, I think Tower Hamlets and Bradford want to impose sharia law. I’ve campaigned across England, I’ve travelled many, many miles, Looking for flag-waving piccaninnies with their watermelon smiles. Asians should vote Conservative, … Continue reading Vote Boris Johnson! Says Boris Johnson
Celebrity Clone Lab: Jack Whitehall And John Quayle
It’s obvious that Michael Whitehall isn’t Jack Whitehall’s real father; a Conservative supporter in his late 40s couldn’t sire a child for goodness sake! It’s a well known fact that aside from their haughtiness, Conservative supporters’ testes are too wizened from all their pent-up aggression. Jack therefore, did not emanate from Mike’s urinary meatus, no, he was given to the producer and talent agent by … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jack Whitehall And John Quayle
Celebrity Clone Lab: Imogen Poots And Helen Mirren
You can’t keep the truth buried for long folks! We’re almost, nearly, sort of, certain that there’s a Top Secret Celebrity Clone Lab somewhere in the Queen Charlotte’s And Chelsea Hospital in Hammersmith, London. Why do we think that? Well, this is where two of the most famous Hammersmith celebrities were created… or as the official sources say: born. Helen Mirren (actor) was born at … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Imogen Poots And Helen Mirren
The Incredible Casting Crew: Keanu Reeves As Richard D. Hall
This week in our Incredible Casting Crew segment is Beyond The Starship, a semi-fictionalised movie about Richard D. Hall, presenter of Richplanet. Keanu Reeves plays the lead role of Rich Hall; he investigates UFO sightings, fabricated terrorism including 9/11, as well as mind control, and hidden history. The problem is, these “conspiracies” are all linked and anyone who exposes the truth is at risk of … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Keanu Reeves As Richard D. Hall
Operation Yellowhammer: Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em
Operation Yellowhammer, a contingency plan subtitled “Reasonable Worst Case Planning Assumptions”, has been cooked-up by the government in case of a “No Deal” Brexit. If that occurs, the folks in charge predict there’ll be medication shortages, food supply problems, and protests in the streets. Operation Yellowhammer, if you didn’t know, involves 90’s “rapper” MC Hammer using his harem hammer pants to smuggle much needed medical … Continue reading Operation Yellowhammer: Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em
Celebrity Clone Lab: Isabela Moner And Jenna Coleman
Blackpool-born Jenna Coleman is most famous for her work in northern soap opera Emmerdale but what many don’t know is that a few years before being cast as Jasmine Thomas, her DNA was sampled and placed in some liquid nitrogen that was cleverly hidden in a jar of Coleman’s Mustard. Coleman’s genes were supposed to be handed over to a Celebrity Clone Lab scientist at … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Isabela Moner And Jenna Coleman
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Pine
It’s not true what they say: Chris Pine isn’t the son of actors Robert Pine and Gwynne Gilford, oh no, he’s a hybridised clone! For proof, we ask you to look at Pine’s Leonardo DiCaprio-esque eyes and his Brian Thompson-esque jaw, he’s so obviously an amalgamation of the two actors. One day during a power blackout, the DNA of Thompson (star of The Terminator and … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Pine
