Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Scott Wolf
What do you get if you splice 1 Fox with Mapother to the power of 4? Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Scott Wolf
Category: Celebrities
Celebrity Clone Lab: Jess Conrad And Tom Cruise
In 1961, Jess Conrad went through an existential crisis and this was exhibited in his song “Why Am I Living?”. It was during this time that his DNA was swabbed so a more reliable clone could be created, a clone who was “born” in 1962. Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jess Conrad And Tom Cruise
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Christopher Ciccone
In case you didn’t know, Christopher Ciccone is a hybridised clone made from the spliced genes of comedian Norm MacDonald and film-maker Quentin Tarantino. Norm MacDonald tried to alert the public that his DNA was blended with Quentin Tarantino’s on Saturday Night Live, and yet despite this obvious cry for help, it was dismissed as an “impression”. If you don’t know who Christopher Ciccone is … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Christopher Ciccone
The Incredible Casting Crew: John Malkovich In One Foot In The Grave Reboot
In our latest Incredible Casting Crew segment, we have another fantastic pitch to the entertainment industry. This time it’s a reboot of the classic 90’s sitcom One Foot In The Grave starring none other than John Malkovich! Picture it: a grumpy Victor Meldrew played with the same dark, monotone voice of Cyrus The Virus from Con Air or Mitch Leary from In The Line Of … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: John Malkovich In One Foot In The Grave Reboot
Celebrity Clone Lab: The Walking Dead Edition
Pay close attention to the cast of The Walking Dead and you’ll notice that some of those folks look kinda familiar … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: The Walking Dead Edition
Celebrity Clone Lab: Yungblud And Fairuza Balk
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is singer YUNGBLUD (real name Dominic Richard Harrison) and actor Fairuza Balk. Just look at the resemblance! Fairuza Balk starred in the film The Craft in which four outcast teens took part in rituals and cast various spells after becoming interested in witchcraft. Aside from the love spells and the hair-loss spells, one deleted scene featured Balk’s character … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Yungblud And Fairuza Balk
Celebrity Clone Lab: Sara Pascoe And Sara Dallin
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is comedian Sara Pascoe and singer Sara Dallin. Just look at the pair’s uncanny resemblance! After a quick DNA swab at the London College Of Fashion, Sara Dallin’s cells were immediately used to produce a clone. It wasn’t just Dallin’s group Bananarama that was created in 1981, so too was Pascoe! Sara Pascoe was gestated in a … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Sara Pascoe And Sara Dallin
Greenlit: Two More Artist Biopics Starring Timothy Spall
After a couple of films in which Timothy Spall played artists J.M.W. Turner and L.S. Lowry, the question remains: will Tim play any more daubers of paint? Will he portray any more makers of assorted objet d’art? The answer is: of course he will! Spall is now set to play the mysterious graffiti artist Banksy and tapestry and vase creator Grayson Perry. Oh, how the … Continue reading Greenlit: Two More Artist Biopics Starring Timothy Spall
Celebrity Clone Lab: Azealia Banks And William Jackson Harper
If you’ve ever thought to yourself “what happens when a clone is dropped on its head?”, we have the answer! William Jackson Harper’s clone Azealia Banks was dropped 212 times whist being transported from Dallas, Texas to Harlem, New York. The crucible tongs that held onto Azealia’s forehead slipped multiple times due to her being so slimy and that’s probably the reason for her peculiar … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Azealia Banks And William Jackson Harper
Celebrity Clone Lab: Gemma Collins And Goldie Hawn
Gemma Collins is most definitely the clone of Goldie Hawn. I mean c’mon, when you take a gander at these two, it’s obvious… they’re so similar-looking that there can’t be any other explanation! But what proof do you have we hear you ask? Well, we think it’s quite telling that Gemma Collins before becoming a reality star, was a used car seller and lo and … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Gemma Collins And Goldie Hawn
Vote Boris Johnson! Says Boris Johnson
Hello all, I’m Boris Johnson, and in this general election, I ask that you disregard my past when you make your selection… I breached Commons expenses rules, I backed the Iraq War, I think Tower Hamlets and Bradford want to impose sharia law. I’ve campaigned across England, I’ve travelled many, many miles, Looking for flag-waving piccaninnies with their watermelon smiles. Asians should vote Conservative, … Continue reading Vote Boris Johnson! Says Boris Johnson
Celebrity Clone Lab: Jack Whitehall And John Quayle
It’s obvious that Michael Whitehall isn’t Jack Whitehall’s real father; a Conservative supporter in his late 40s couldn’t sire a child for goodness sake! It’s a well known fact that aside from their haughtiness, Conservative supporters’ testes are too wizened from all their pent-up aggression. Jack therefore, did not emanate from Mike’s urinary meatus, no, he was given to the producer and talent agent by … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jack Whitehall And John Quayle
Celebrity Clone Lab: Imogen Poots And Helen Mirren
You can’t keep the truth buried for long folks! We’re almost, nearly, sort of, certain that there’s a Top Secret Celebrity Clone Lab somewhere in the Queen Charlotte’s And Chelsea Hospital in Hammersmith, London. Why do we think that? Well, this is where two of the most famous Hammersmith celebrities were created… or as the official sources say: born. Helen Mirren (actor) was born at … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Imogen Poots And Helen Mirren
The Incredible Casting Crew: Keanu Reeves As Richard D. Hall
This week in our Incredible Casting Crew segment is Beyond The Starship, a semi-fictionalised movie about Richard D. Hall, presenter of Richplanet. Keanu Reeves plays the lead role of Rich Hall; he investigates UFO sightings, fabricated terrorism including 9/11, as well as mind control, and hidden history. The problem is, these “conspiracies” are all linked and anyone who exposes the truth is at risk of … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Keanu Reeves As Richard D. Hall
Operation Yellowhammer: Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em
Operation Yellowhammer, a contingency plan subtitled “Reasonable Worst Case Planning Assumptions”, has been cooked-up by the government in case of a “No Deal” Brexit. If that occurs, the folks in charge predict there’ll be medication shortages, food supply problems, and protests in the streets. Operation Yellowhammer, if you didn’t know, involves 90’s “rapper” MC Hammer using his harem hammer pants to smuggle much needed medical … Continue reading Operation Yellowhammer: Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em
Celebrity Clone Lab: Isabela Moner And Jenna Coleman
Blackpool-born Jenna Coleman is most famous for her work in northern soap opera Emmerdale but what many don’t know is that a few years before being cast as Jasmine Thomas, her DNA was sampled and placed in some liquid nitrogen that was cleverly hidden in a jar of Coleman’s Mustard. Coleman’s genes were supposed to be handed over to a Celebrity Clone Lab scientist at … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Isabela Moner And Jenna Coleman
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Pine
It’s not true what they say: Chris Pine isn’t the son of actors Robert Pine and Gwynne Gilford, oh no, he’s a hybridised clone! For proof, we ask you to look at Pine’s Leonardo DiCaprio-esque eyes and his Brian Thompson-esque jaw, he’s so obviously an amalgamation of the two actors. One day during a power blackout, the DNA of Thompson (star of The Terminator and … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Pine
The Incredible Casting Crew: Bella Thorne In A Tiffany Darwish Biopic
Here at Oddball Times we don’t sit on our laurels. We’ve created another brand-spanking new segment for you to enjoy called “The Incredible Casting Crew“. In this section, we will prove to Hollywood that we’re the world’s greatest casting directors (and the best Photoshoppers on the planet)! Our first pitch to the film industry is a biopic about Tiffany, the ’80s teen singer. The movie … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Bella Thorne In A Tiffany Darwish Biopic
Celebrity Clone Lab: Sylvester Stallone And Rock Hudson
Over the years, The Celebrity Clone Lab have created 26 clones of Rock Hudson, the first was code-named “Rock-A” and the last one “Rock-Z”. It was however, the 25th clone “Rock-Y” that was the most successful and he also made it as a Hollywood actor. Given his success, Rock-Y was then nicknamed “Sylvester The Clone” (after his favourite cartoon show which he watched whilst gestating … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Sylvester Stallone And Rock Hudson
Pilkington K. Grass: Karl Pilkington’s Tennis Playing Disguise
Ahhh… get out your strawberries and cream folks, it’s Tennis season! Continue reading Pilkington K. Grass: Karl Pilkington’s Tennis Playing Disguise
Celebrity Clone Lab: Rochelle Humes And Donna Summer
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Rochelle Humes, who if you don’t already know, is the clone of Donna Summer, just look at the resemblance! In 1988, Donna Summer came to the UK to make an album with Stock, Aitken, and Waterman. During the recording of Another Place In Time, Summer’s DNA was taken so a duplicate singer could be created in the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Rochelle Humes And Donna Summer
Pokémon Detective Pikachu: A Load Of Bull
Peter Bull never could decide which profession to focus on: he was an actor, a Lieutenant-Commander in the Royal Navy, a shopkeeper, and a writer. Leap-frogging from one job to another, the one thing Bull always wanted to do was learn how to mime. So in 1984, he faked his death and honed his craft for 35 years until he was the world’s foremost mime … Continue reading Pokémon Detective Pikachu: A Load Of Bull
Celebrity Clone Lab: Jeff Bezos And Peter Safran
Way before Amazon existed, there was a mail order store called Congo owned and operated by the Celebrity Clone Lab who were located in a classified rainforest laboratory at the time. In the Congo, there was a fantastic gene recommendation system which was developed to sort all the celeb clones and if you know where to look, you can still find remnants of this directory … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jeff Bezos And Peter Safran
Celebrity Clone Lab: Peter Sutcliffe And Jeremy Dyson
Today in the Celebrity Clone Lab is screenwriter and writer Jeremy Dyson. If you don’t know, he’s the clone of serial killer Peter Sutcliffe! You simply need to look at the pair’s thick, black, wavy hair to see that they are genetically linked but if you want more evidence we have it here… Before being locked up for life for killing thirteen women, Peter Sutcliffe … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Peter Sutcliffe And Jeremy Dyson
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Leslie Parrish
Leslie Parrish, who starred in the original Manchurian Candidate was made by splicing the genes of Lena Heady and Margot Robbie. I bet you didn’t know that! Quite unexpectedly, Leslie Parrish turned out much better than her progenitors; she was an activist and environmentalist, she fought against the Vietnam War and for civil rights, she created a television station that pre-empted C-SPAN, she built a … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Leslie Parrish
Celebrity Clone Lab: Ted Bundy And George H. W. Bush
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is George H. W. Bush and Ted Bundy, just look at the uncanny resemblance! The interesting thing about this pair is that one was programmed to go into politics and the other was supposed to become a mass murderer. Unfortunately, even as a Republican, Ted Bundy failed to become a politician but thankfully George Herbert Walker Bush became … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Ted Bundy And George H. W. Bush
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Odeya Rush
“Thank God” the scientists shouted as the genes of Mila Kunis and Chloë Grace Moretz were successfully spliced together seconds before the deadline of May 12th 1997. The result of the experiment was then named after this celebratory outcry; “Odeya” (which means “Thank God” in Hebrew) “Rush” (signifying the time it took to create her) is now a talented actor and model thanks to this … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Odeya Rush
Celebrity Clone Lab: Ice-T And Peter Dinklage
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is actor Peter Hayden Dinklage, who if you don’t know, is the clone of rapper Tracy Lauren Marrow (aka Ice-T) just look at the resemblance! Before living in Crenshaw, Los Angeles, Ice-T was born and raised in New Jersey and that’s where a swab of his DNA was first taken as a precaution. As you may know, becoming … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Ice-T And Peter Dinklage
Celebrity Clone Lab: Tim Cook And Paul O’Grady
I’m sure you’ll agree that there’s little to no originality at Apple since Steve Jobs passed in 2011. There’s no more innovation, no more creativity, no more design risks being taken, in fact it’s plain to everybody that Apple has lost its mojo. This may have something to do with the company’s CEO Tim Cook who if you don’t know, is the clone of comedian … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Tim Cook And Paul O’Grady
Celebrity Clone Lab: Colin Powell And Lewis Black
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is comedian Lewis Black. If you don’t know, he’s the clone of retired four-star general and ex-secretary of state Colin Powell! Colin Powell, if you don’t remember, was the bloke who gave that remarkable presentation to the U.N. in 2003. Colin was confident that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, in fact he stated that he was “absolutely … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Colin Powell And Lewis Black
Celebrity Clone Lab: Daisy Ridley And Rhys James
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is actor Daisy Ridley. If you don’t already know, she’s the clone of comedian Rhys James. Now of course, the mainstream media will tell you that Daisy Ridley is a descendant of landed gentry, the great-niece of a Dad’s Army actor, and the daughter of a banker and a photographer but all that’s a lie. The truth is … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Daisy Ridley And Rhys James
Product Idea: Colin Kaepernick Knee Pads
Now that Colin Kaepernick has trademarked his face, I have a fantastic idea for a Kaepernick-endorsed product and since he’s up for marketing himself for the likes of Nike, I’m sure he’ll love my idea. So what hair-brained concept have I come with today I hear you ask? Well, it’s a pair of Colin Kaepernick knee-pads! These knee pads could be produced by any power … Continue reading Product Idea: Colin Kaepernick Knee Pads
Celebrity Clone Lab: Stacey Dooley And Jane Asher
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is TV presenter Stacey Dooley. If you don’t know, she’s the clone of actor Jane Asher! Now you may say that Dooley isn’t a perfect copy of Asher and you’d be right. Records indicate that the Celebrity Clone Lab intended to create a perfect clone of Jane but due to renovation work, they had to relocate to a … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Stacey Dooley And Jane Asher
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