Today in the Celebrity Clone Lab is screenwriter and writer Jeremy Dyson. If you don’t know, he’s the clone of serial killer Peter Sutcliffe! You simply need to look at the pair’s thick, black, wavy hair to see that they are genetically linked but if you want more evidence we have it here… Before being locked up for life for killing thirteen women, Peter Sutcliffe … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Peter Sutcliffe And Jeremy Dyson
Leslie Parrish, who starred in the original Manchurian Candidate was made by splicing the genes of Lena Heady and Margot Robbie. I bet you didn’t know that! Quite unexpectedly, Leslie Parrish turned out much better than her progenitors; she was an activist and environmentalist, she fought against the Vietnam War and for civil rights, she created a television station that pre-empted C-SPAN, she built a … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Leslie Parrish
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is George H. W. Bush and Ted Bundy, just look at the uncanny resemblance! The interesting thing about this pair is that one was programmed to go into politics and the other was supposed to become a mass murderer. Unfortunately, even as a Republican, Ted Bundy failed to become a politician but thankfully George Herbert Walker Bush became … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Ted Bundy And George H. W. Bush
“Thank God” the scientists shouted as the genes of Mila Kunis and Chloë Grace Moretz were successfully spliced together seconds before the deadline of May 12th 1997. The result of the experiment was then named after this celebratory outcry; “Odeya” (which means “Thank God” in Hebrew) “Rush” (signifying the time it took to create her) is now a talented actor and model thanks to this … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Odeya Rush
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is actor Peter Hayden Dinklage, who if you don’t know, is the clone of rapper Tracy Lauren Marrow (aka Ice-T) just look at the resemblance! Before living in Crenshaw, Los Angeles, Ice-T was born and raised in New Jersey and that’s where a swab of his DNA was first taken as a precaution. As you may know, becoming … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Ice-T And Peter Dinklage
I’m sure you’ll agree that there’s little to no originality at Apple since Steve Jobs passed in 2011. There’s no more innovation, no more creativity, no more design risks being taken, in fact it’s plain to everybody that Apple has lost its mojo. This may have something to do with the company’s CEO Tim Cook who if you don’t know, is the clone of comedian … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Tim Cook And Paul O’Grady
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is comedian Lewis Black. If you don’t know, he’s the clone of retired four-star general and ex-secretary of state Colin Powell! Colin Powell, if you don’t remember, was the bloke who gave that remarkable presentation to the U.N. in 2003. Colin was confident that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, in fact he stated that he was “absolutely … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Colin Powell And Lewis Black
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is actor Daisy Ridley. If you don’t already know, she’s the clone of comedian Rhys James. Now of course, the mainstream media will tell you that Daisy Ridley is a descendant of landed gentry, the great-niece of a Dad’s Army actor, and the daughter of a banker and a photographer but all that’s a lie. The truth is … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Daisy Ridley And Rhys James
Now that Colin Kaepernick has trademarked his face, I have a fantastic idea for a Kaepernick-endorsed product and since he’s up for marketing himself for the likes of Nike, I’m sure he’ll love my idea. So what hair-brained concept have I come with today I hear you ask? Well, it’s a pair of Colin Kaepernick knee-pads! These knee pads could be produced by any power … Continue reading Product Idea: Colin Kaepernick Knee Pads
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is TV presenter Stacey Dooley. If you don’t know, she’s the clone of actor Jane Asher! Now you may say that Dooley isn’t a perfect copy of Asher and you’d be right. Records indicate that the Celebrity Clone Lab intended to create a perfect clone of Jane but due to renovation work, they had to relocate to a … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Stacey Dooley And Jane Asher
More than four decades before Hip-Hop producer Dr. Dre released his own-brand headphones, soul singer Roberta Flack released hers. Flack’s headphones were of course in keeping with the ’70s, they were very stylish and more importantly they sounded much better than their contemporary counterparts (the overpriced Beats By Dre). Of course this was mainly due to the unique material beneath the closed-ear design as … Continue reading Afro Puff, Puff, Pass: Looking Back At Roberta Flack’s Headphones
Did you know that Paul Hollywood, celebrity chef and judge of The Great British Bake Off, is one of a septuplet? Well it’s true! Paul’s father John who was a bakery proprietor, attempted to inseminate his wife with a baker’s dozen but unfortunately, his multiple birth fell short of its target. In the end, Paul’s mother gave birth to only seven babies but after a … Continue reading The Great British Mix-Up: Paul Hollywood’s Long Lost Brothers
After the phenomenally successful career of Phil Lynott (with and without Thin Lizzy) the scientists at the Celebrity Clone Lab stored Phil’s cells for later use, with the hopes of perhaps creating a similarly successful artist for the noughties’ generation. The laboratory was very careful with the precious cells as they set about creating the clone. The scientists told us: “The experiment started on Monday … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Phil Lynott and Craig David
It’s a known fact that scientists have varied tastes in music. Some of them for example, like to listen to Elvis and some prefer The Smiths. One day after an argument over who is better, a group of experts in the field of Genomics decided to splice the genes of Elvis Presley and Morrissey together in order to create a singer that would please the … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Isaak
The life of Andy Serkis is to be told as a big-budget Hollywood movie sources tell us. The story of a young lad from Ruislip Manor going on to college, studying theatre and eventually becoming the foremost Motion Capture performer, has been green-lit for production. Studio executives have said that because of the popularity of CGI films and Motion-Capture performances, Serkis’ biopic will be entirely … Continue reading Greenlit: A Big-Budget Andy Serkis Biopic
When a film such as John Wick becomes popular, it’s time to think product tie-ins. There’s no doubt that John Wick and John Wick: Chapter 2 were massive hits at the box office, with the first movie netting over $88 million and the second instalment grossing over $171 million. It’s obvious that the next film in the series will be a bigger success and with … Continue reading Tie-In Product Idea: John Wick And Air Wick
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Sandra Bullock, if you haven’t already realised, she’s a clone of Michael Jackson. Just look at the resemblance! When or where this cloning took place is a mystery but maybe Sandra’s father John Bullock being a contractor for The Pentagon or her grandfather being a German rocket scientist is an indication that she has secretive military and … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Sandra Bullock And Michael Jackson
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is TV chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. If you don’t already know, he’s the clone of slap-head comedian Harry Hill. Harry Hill’s breakout 90’s BBC Radio 4 show was called “Harry Hill’s Fruit Corner” and his follow-up TV show for BBC Two was called “Fruit Fancies”. Then in the 00’s, Harry Hill did a voiceover for a Branston Pickle advert … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Harry Hill And Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall
The other day my TV broke, so in a frenzy, I walked over to my neighbour’s house, a Friend Of Mine and Kicked Down The Door. My neighbour was watching a programme called Fox News Sunday presented by none other than Christopher Wallace. I did a double take, Christopher Wallace on Fox News? Unbelievable! Now I’m not the best person to ask about popular history, … Continue reading Christopher Wallace Is Trying To Out-Fox Us All
Shortly after the world discovered that Harvey Weinstein was an alleged sexual harasser, sexual assaulter, and rapist, the man went under the radar and seemingly dropped off the map. There were reports that he was “in treatment” but people are now beginning to ask “what treatment?” and “where?”. Well, we have an exclusive for you folks, Harvey was forced by the Center For Misogyny Reassignment … Continue reading Harvey Weinstein’s Secret Therapy: What It’s Like Being A Woman
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is stand-up comedian Lee Evans. If you don’t know, he’s the clone of serial killer Fred West! Oddball Times doesn’t have much evidence of this particular celeb cloning as the files were lost, destroyed, or buried somewhere in Gloucester but just take a look at the resemblance; the black hair, the dodgy smile, the South West accent, it’s … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Lee Evans And Fred West
Do you know who I saw whilst I was visiting Hammersmith this week? None other than Thomas Hardy! He looked wonderful, some wrinkles but not many for his age. He wasn’t wearing his usual tailcoat, double-breasted vest and wing-tip collar… oh no, not a hat or a pair of gloves in sight. In fact he was in some modern Levis and T-shirt, what a transformation! … Continue reading Far From The Maddening Crowd: My Interview With Tom Hardy
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Perez Hilton. Even though he doesn’t want the public to know, we’re gonna out him as a clone of the late actor Doug McClure. If you don’t already know, Hilton, a blogger, columnist, and all-round douche is a hypocrite of the highest order. He is known for complaining about people’s use of anti-gay slurs but he at … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Perez Hilton And Doug McClure
This week I went out to California to meet Tom Cruise. I felt overwhelmed but I managed to ask Tom how it felt to be a father and what it was like to be one of three dads. I was amongst other reporters so I think he didn’t hear me. I continued unperturbed. I asked him when he’d changed his name from Tom Gruber to … Continue reading Tom Cruise And Suri Cruise: Mistaken A.I.dentity
A brand new conspiracy for all you Oddball readers out there is that Alex Jones, the far-right Info Wars host is in fact a clone of The Baldy Man. Now in order to believe this conspiracy theory, you must first ignore that the Baldy Man is a fictional character played by comedian Gregor Fisher, but if you’re a fan of Alex Jones, you’ll be no … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Alex Jones And The Baldy Man
Today we answer the age old question; how do musicians decide what to call themselves? Fans assume that stage-names are simply nicknames from childhood or possibly some random thought that popped into a musician’s head. It was all a mystery… until now. We have inside information that certain Hip-Hop artists used the humble road map in order to select their name. M-1 of Political Hip-Hop … Continue reading Two Turnpikes And A Microphone: How Hip-Hop Musicians Are Embracing Roads And Motorways
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab it’s Josef Fritzl. If you don’t already know, he’s the clone of Donald Trump’s father Fred Trump! Fred Trump was a carpenter and he built twenty homes in Queens, New York by 1926. Seeing this success, the Celebrity Clone Lab took a swab from Fred’s tash and cryogenically stored his DNA for later use. Then in 1935 during … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Fred Trump And Josef Fritzl
I was so excited this week to meet someone called Kim Kardashian. She was surrounded by photographers and reporters but I managed to get an exclusive. I asked her, “Why are you so famous?”. I think she was taken aback as she didn’t reply. She was generally very quiet throughout the interview although I did hear her let out a few sighs, maybe she was … Continue reading Kim Kardashian: Behind The Fame
Here at Oddball Times, we like to let you the reader in on certain secrets about the entertainment world, namely which celebrities are clones and which are spliced-hybrids. Sometimes however, certain cloned celebs aren’t a secret at all, some even parade their similarities in front of the whole world for all to see! Take Post Malone for example, this singer songwriter is quite obviously the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Post Malone And Chabuddy G
This week on Celebrity Gene Splicing we bring you Paul Eddington, the late great actor who starred in Hammer’s The Devil Rides Out and TV Sitcom The Good Life. Paul, in case you didn’t know, was made by mixing the genes of David Mitchell with those of Tom Hanks. By combining Hanks’ mouth with the rest of Mitchell’s startled facial features, Paul Eddington was created … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Paul Eddington
Once it was officially announced that Prince Harry was to marry Meghan Markle, prejudiced celebs around the world rejoiced! Surely they too could replicate this media-savvy tactic? Apparently one Meghan Markle cancels out one Nazi costume and a few racial slurs, and once a wedding ring is screwed firmly onto that mixed-raced American’s finger, nobody will ever recall those “Paki” and “Raghead” comments that Harry … Continue reading Prince Harry To Marry: How To Nuptially Offset And Omit Racism From History
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Anton Du Beke, if you don’t know he’s the clone of Rob Brydon! Anton Du Beke, a Strictly Come Dancing dancer and professional racist, was created when a petri dish containing Rob Brydon’s genes were accidentally left resting on a sequinned Saint George’s Cross flag. Don’t ask us how this strange object made its way into the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Rob Brydon And Anton Du Beke
This week on Celebrity Clone Lab it’s author Salman Rushdie. If you don’t already know, he’s the clone of filmmaker Stanley Kubrick, just look at the resemblance! Sal and Stan are known for their controversial art; Salman for his book The Satanic Protocols and Stanley for his masterful direction of the moon landings. Another controversial subject surrounding this pair is the fatwa on Rushdie’s head … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Salman Rushdie And Stanley Kubrick
