Who is that fat, white man? There's pictures of him everywhere He has a swag bag, a beard, and long white hair I've heard he rides flying horned creatures but that's probably a lie They say I have to leave him a mince pie but no one can tell me why They say he comes … Continue reading Who’s That Fat Intruder?
Once it was officially announced that Prince Harry was to marry Meghan Markle, prejudiced celebs around the world rejoiced! Surely they too could replicate this media-savvy tactic? Apparently one Meghan Markle cancels out one Nazi costume and a few racial slurs, and once a wedding ring is screwed firmly onto that mixed-raced American's finger, nobody … Continue reading Prince Harry To Marry: How To Nuptially Offset And Omit Racism From History
I heard on the local news a few days ago that the police were having an amnesty on dangerous weapons. They said that people should anonymously surrender any weapons they own without facing any charges... brilliant! As soon as I heard this, I frantically ran around my house looking for any weaponry, and I found … Continue reading Dangerous Weapons Don’t Kill People, Dangerous People Do
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Anton Du Beke, if you don't know he's the clone of Rob Brydon! Anton Du Beke, a Strictly Come Dancing dancer and professional racist, was created when a petri dish containing Rob Brydon's genes were accidentally left resting on a sequinned Saint George's Cross flag. Don't ask … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Rob Brydon And Anton Du Beke
If someone asks you when the best Blues music was made, you'll probably say the 1950s. The best Rock And Roll music? The 1960s. The best Heavy Metal music? The 1970s of course. If someone asks you when the best Electronic Dance Music was made, you'll definitely say the late 1980s and early 1990s. The … Continue reading The Skinny Jeans Effect: Proof That Tight Legwear Restricts Creativity In Music
If you don't know, Lean or Purple Drank is a recreational drug, a concoction made by mixing cough syrup containing Codeine and Promethazine with Sprite (and sometimes a hard boiled sweet such as a Jolly Rancher for some extra sweetness). The side effects of Lean include dizziness, blurred vision, nausea, and memory problems. Because of … Continue reading Sipping Lean In 2017: It’s Not A Good Look Being A Codeine Fiend
This week on Celebrity Clone Lab it's author Salman Rushdie. If you don't already know, he's the clone of filmmaker Stanley Kubrick, just look at the resemblance! Sal and Stan are known for their controversial art; Salman for his book The Satanic Protocols and Stanley for his masterful direction of the moon landings. Another controversial … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Salman Rushdie And Stanley Kubrick