A cartoon of a man yelling "woke" at movie posters

It’s No Joke: White Bloke Says Go Woke Go Broke

From the M-She-U to Get Out, Us and Nope It’s clear Hollywood is going woke I’m white, really straight, a real man’s man So minorities in movies, I really can’t stand   This is a brand new thing, so I’m gonna go back To a time when the clapperboard was the only thing black I’m going back in time and I’m not stopping Back when … Continue reading It’s No Joke: White Bloke Says Go Woke Go Broke

Stranger Things Spin-Offs logo by Oddball Times

Stranger Things Spin-Offs: Pitching From The Upside Down

We have a couple of years to wait for the final season of Stranger Things, but in the meantime we can console ourselves with the fact that there’ll be a spin-off show. But what will that look like you ask? Forget what Finn Wolfhard supposedly guessed, here’s our very own amazing set of ideas, and if any of them get made, we want credit and … Continue reading Stranger Things Spin-Offs: Pitching From The Upside Down

A cartoon of three pods with Jon Secada, M Night Shyamalan, and Spike Lee's heads in them

Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Jon Secada

If you’ve ever asked the question “what happens when you splice together the genes of two clones?” (and I’m sure many of you have) we might finally have the answer! We’ve made enquiries and we’re only aware of one such occasion when this totally awesome experiment was carried out. If you take a gander at Hollywood clones Spike Lee and M. Night Shyamalan, when their … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Jon Secada

Tie-In Product Idea: Schwartz Spice And Denis Villeneuve’s Dune

The Schwartz company has been around since the 1800’s, making spices way before Frank Herbert was even born. With Herbert’s novel Dune being turned into a blockbuster film, this is surely the perfect time for these two commodities to be married together? Schwartz may not mine Dune’s fictional drug Melange (aka “Spice”) but they sell a few spices that give you greater vitality; cayenne pepper … Continue reading Tie-In Product Idea: Schwartz Spice And Denis Villeneuve’s Dune

A cartoon of three pods with Gerard Butler, Vincent Reagan, and Nick Knowles' heads in them. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Gerard Butler

What happens when you splice together the genes of a presenter and “singer” with an actor? The answer is you get a drunken law student who wanted to be famous! Gerard Butler has played Atilla The Hun, the Transylvanian Dracula, a Greek Spartan King, and the Egyptian god of the desert because he’s just that varied a performer, and of course, he has the super … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Gerard Butler

Liam Neeson in Taken 4 standing with a gun in front of a Porsche Taycan

Tie-In Product Idea: Taken 4 Starring Liam Neeson And The Porsche Taycan

It really amazes me how I come up with my ideas, and no, I’m not just about words sounding the same, I get excited about things sounding the same as well – it’s blooming hilarous! Today’s idea is a sequel to the Taken franchise with an all-important product tie-in, which of course has to be a Porsche Taycan. The film will be called “Taken 4: … Continue reading Tie-In Product Idea: Taken 4 Starring Liam Neeson And The Porsche Taycan

A poster for a George Formby musical biopic starring Russell Howard by Oddball Times

The Incredible Casting Crew: Russell Howard As George Formby

This time in our Incredible Casting Crew segment is a film called “Turned Out Nice Again”, a nine-hour, 4:3 aspect ratio, black and white musical biopic about George Formby played entirely on the ukulele. Russell Howard, who would travel chronologically and in real time through each of Formby’s films, needs to brush-up on the tiny stringed instrument so we can get this made in time … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Russell Howard As George Formby

A movie poster for a John Lennon biopic starring Daniel Radcliffe by Oddball Times

The Incredible Casting Crew: Daniel Radcliffe As John Lennon

This week in our Incredible Casting Crew segment is a movie called “Some Time In New York City”. This film is all about the last days of John Lennon’s life but there’s an added twist: there’s a love triangle between John (played by Daniel Radcliffe) his wife Yoko Ono (played by Rinko Kikuchi) and John’s assassin Mark Chapman (played by K. Trevor Wilson). Audience members … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Daniel Radcliffe As John Lennon

A side by side image of Rishi Sunak and Roddy from Flushed Away

He’s Flush: The Source Of Rishi Sunak’s Investments

It’s a five hour drive from Stanford to Glendale, a trip that Rishi Sunak once took whilst attending Stanford University in California. In 2006 just before graduating, he was spotted lurking around outside Dreamworks Animation in Glendale and was immediately cast in Flushed Away as the lead upper class rat “Roddy”. Influenced by his role and clutching a cheque from Aardman, Rishi moved into a … Continue reading He’s Flush: The Source Of Rishi Sunak’s Investments

An advert for Tilda Rice with Tilda Swinton as The Ancient One from Doctor Strange. By Oddball Times

Like White On Rice: My Idea For A Tilda Rice Advert

I have a marvellous idea for an ad! This one features actor Tilda Swinton, who thanks to her name, can advertise either Tilda Rice or Swinton Insurance. I assume that since Tilda Swinton played an Asian comic book hero named “The Ancient One” in Marvel’s Doctor Strange, she’ll prefer to put her name to the former, and given that Marvel Studios and writer-director Scott Derrickson … Continue reading Like White On Rice: My Idea For A Tilda Rice Advert

A poster for a One Foot In The Grave reboot starring John Malkovich by Oddball Times

The Incredible Casting Crew: John Malkovich In One Foot In The Grave Reboot

In our latest Incredible Casting Crew segment, we have another fantastic pitch to the entertainment industry. This time it’s a reboot of the classic 90’s sitcom One Foot In The Grave starring none other than John Malkovich! Picture it: a grumpy Victor Meldrew played with the same dark, monotone voice of Cyrus The Virus from Con Air or Mitch Leary from In The Line Of … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: John Malkovich In One Foot In The Grave Reboot

A parody advert for olive oil using a scene from Last Tango In Paris

Putting The Rape Into Rapeseed Oil And The Butt Into Butter: My Idea For An Olive Oil Advert

What’s better for your health? Cooking with butter or cooking with oil? Experts say that butter isn’t all that bad, it contains many nutrients including Vitamin K2 (and other letter and number combinations). But I’m not here to say what health benefits there are or to tell you the smoke-point stats, I just need a marketing ploy to get rid of the two dozen boxes … Continue reading Putting The Rape Into Rapeseed Oil And The Butt Into Butter: My Idea For An Olive Oil Advert

A movie poster for a Banksy biopic starring Timothy Spall

Greenlit: Two More Artist Biopics Starring Timothy Spall

After a couple of films in which Timothy Spall played artists J.M.W. Turner and L.S. Lowry, the question remains: will Tim play any more daubers of paint? Will he portray any more makers of assorted objet d’art? The answer is: of course he will! Spall is now set to play the mysterious graffiti artist Banksy and tapestry and vase creator Grayson Perry. Oh, how the … Continue reading Greenlit: Two More Artist Biopics Starring Timothy Spall

A movie poster for a Richplanet thriller starring Keanu Reeves by Oddball Times

The Incredible Casting Crew: Keanu Reeves As Richard D. Hall

This week in our Incredible Casting Crew segment is Beyond The Starship, a semi-fictionalised movie about Richard D. Hall, presenter of Richplanet. Keanu Reeves plays the lead role of Rich Hall; he investigates UFO sightings, fabricated terrorism including 9/11, as well as mind control, and hidden history. The problem is, these “conspiracies” are all linked and anyone who exposes the truth is at risk of … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Keanu Reeves As Richard D. Hall

A parody advertisement for Tropicana Sanguinello in the style of The Godfather movie poster. By Oddball Times

An Offer You Can’t Refuse: A Tropicana Sanguinello Advertising Idea

Francis Ford Coppola has been messing with his movies over the last decade or so, needlessly lengthening films such as Apocalypse Now and The Outsiders. Whether he’s ruined his own films by re-editing them or not (and he has) the fact that he doesn’t mind fiddling with his own creations surely means that my idea for a movie tie-in advertising campaign will go down pretty … Continue reading An Offer You Can’t Refuse: A Tropicana Sanguinello Advertising Idea

A cartoon of three pods with Leonardo DiCaprio, Brian Thompson and Chris Pine's heads in them. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Pine

It’s not true what they say: Chris Pine isn’t the son of actors Robert Pine and Gwynne Gilford, oh no, he’s a hybridised clone! For proof, we ask you to look at Pine’s Leonardo DiCaprio-esque eyes and his Brian Thompson-esque jaw, he’s so obviously an amalgamation of the two actors. One day during a power blackout, the DNA of Thompson (star of The Terminator and … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Pine

A movie poster for a Tiffany Darwish biopic starring Bella Thorne by Oddball Times

The Incredible Casting Crew: Bella Thorne In A Tiffany Darwish Biopic

Here at Oddball Times we don’t sit on our laurels. We’ve created another brand-spanking new segment for you to enjoy called “The Incredible Casting Crew“. In this section, we will prove to Hollywood that we’re the world’s greatest casting directors (and the best Photoshoppers on the planet)! Our first pitch to the film industry is a biopic about Tiffany, the ’80s teen singer. The movie … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Bella Thorne In A Tiffany Darwish Biopic

An image of actor Peter Bull alongside Mr. Mime to show their facial similarities. By Oddball Times

Pokémon Detective Pikachu: A Load Of Bull

Peter Bull never could decide which profession to focus on: he was an actor, a Lieutenant-Commander in the Royal Navy, a shopkeeper, and a writer. Leap-frogging from one job to another, the one thing Bull always wanted to do was learn how to mime. So in 1984, he faked his death and honed his craft for 35 years until he was the world’s foremost mime … Continue reading Pokémon Detective Pikachu: A Load Of Bull

A cartoon of three pods with Margot Robbie, Lena Heady, and Leslie Parrish's heads in them. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Leslie Parrish

Leslie Parrish, who starred in the original Manchurian Candidate was made by splicing the genes of Lena Heady and Margot Robbie. I bet you didn’t know that! Quite unexpectedly, Leslie Parrish turned out much better than her progenitors; she was an activist and environmentalist, she fought against the Vietnam War and for civil rights, she created a television station that pre-empted C-SPAN, she built a … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Leslie Parrish

A cartoon of three pods with Mila Kunis, Chloe Grace Moretz, and Odeya Rush's heads in them. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Odeya Rush

“Thank God” the scientists shouted as the genes of Mila Kunis and Chloë Grace Moretz were successfully spliced together seconds before the deadline of May 12th 1997. The result of the experiment was then named after this celebratory outcry; “Odeya” (which means “Thank God” in Hebrew) “Rush” (signifying the time it took to create her) is now a talented actor and model thanks to this … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Odeya Rush

An illustration of Thalia the muse of comedy and Melpomene the muse of tragedy shown as black and white people. By Oddball Times

Acting Is Acting And Actors Are Actors: A Guide To Hollywood Casting For Minorities

For all those who defend mainstream Hollywood casting decisions that favour straight, white, male actors (people usually heard yelling “it’s an actor’s job is to play somebody they’re not” or “an actor should be allowed to play any character”) here’s a handy little guide for you to peruse… Can a white male actor play a white male role? Yes. Can a white male actor play … Continue reading Acting Is Acting And Actors Are Actors: A Guide To Hollywood Casting For Minorities