In this difficult time, spare a thought for all the right-wing Islamophobes out there. After railing against halal meat and burkas for two decades, gammon across the nation now find themselves in a bit of a pickle. Since traditional supermarket shelves are being emptied by panic buyers, the only place to buy food is at … Continue reading Confusing Times For Gammon: Inadvertent Self-Hatred Amidst The Coronavirus
After a flurry of panic buying and hoarding, supermarkets across Britain have put limits into place. Tesco, Sainsbury's and Asda have all put a three-product limit on various grocery items but what about other retailers? I haven't heard anything on the news about Fortnum & Mason. Can I only purchase three tins of Baerii Caviar? … Continue reading We Have Our Limits: COVID-19 Panic Buying Affecting All Establishments
I love this stuff that falls from above As light as air and as white as a dove It covers the house, the car, the ground Without so much as making a sound I love this cold stuff, I'm such a fan I can mould it to make a chubby little man I can turn … Continue reading Snow Delay: A British Christmas Tradition
Kids played freely in the street Eating Spam instead of meat Back when you could leave your front door unlocked Gossiping over the garden fence You could buy a week's shopping with half-a-pence Back when you could leave your front door unlocked You knew the name of the people next door All cosy in the … Continue reading Back When You Could Leave Your Front Door Unlocked
I am lucky enough to have a substantial garden inherited from my first wife Audrey. This allows me to choose my desired tree from within my own property. I use my newly-acquired 500W Scorpion Handsaw to chop down the magnificent tree. I then tie the branches with 4mm strong utility nylon rope to make sure … Continue reading My Annual Tree: A Christmas Tradition
After eating an entire packet of Nerds, two packets of popping candy, and spending a whopping four minutes on the internet, I've discovered the following about Halloween and its origins... Pumpkin Carving: This tradition dates back to Britain when a 3 year old boy named Sam Hain decided that he hated eating his vegetables, in … Continue reading May Contain Nutjobs: The Origins Of Halloween
Is it just me, or is Oral-B's tagline not aspirational at all?