A cartoon of an open front door with burglars, rapists and murderers waiting outside. By Oddball Times

Back When You Could Leave Your Front Door Unlocked

Kids played freely in the street Eating Spam instead of meat Back when you could leave your front door unlocked Gossiping over the garden fence You could buy a week's shopping with half-a-pence Back when you could leave your front door unlocked You knew the name of the people next door All cosy in the … Continue reading Back When You Could Leave Your Front Door Unlocked

A cartoon of a Christmas tree felling. By Oddball Times

My Annual Tree: A Christmas Tradition

I am lucky enough to have a substantial garden inherited from my first wife Audrey. This allows me to choose my desired tree from within my own property. I use my newly-acquired 500W Scorpion Handsaw to chop down the magnificent tree. I then tie the branches with 4mm strong utility nylon rope to make sure … Continue reading My Annual Tree: A Christmas Tradition

A cartoon illustration of a pumpkin with a carving knife and blood on the floor to signify Halloween. By Oddball Times

May Contain Nutjobs: The Origins Of Halloween

After eating an entire packet of Nerds, two packets of popping candy, and spending a whopping four minutes on the internet, I've discovered the following about Halloween and its origins... Pumpkin Carving: This tradition dates back to Britain when a 3 year old boy named Sam Hain decided that he hated eating his vegetables, in … Continue reading May Contain Nutjobs: The Origins Of Halloween

A cartoon illustration of an active school shooter in the rubble of a dismantled school building. By Oddball Times

From Swots to SWAT: The Obvious Solution To Prevent School Shootings

Every time there's a school shooting, politicians, pundits, and members of the public question what we should change... Maybe we should arm the teachers? Err... no, imagine your worst P.E. teacher with a Glock? Terrible idea. Okay, so maybe we should place body scanners in all schools? Err... no, imagine all the nonce security guards … Continue reading From Swots to SWAT: The Obvious Solution To Prevent School Shootings

A cartoon of a drunk man lying on the floor among empty bottles by Oddball Times

What My TV Told Me Today: The Health Benefits Of Alcohol

Whilst watching breakfast television I'm always intrigued by their health segments and over the last few months I've heard quite a few health-based stories. According to scientists, red wine contains antioxidants and cider contains vitamin C. Research has also found that whiskey aids weight loss and may also help heart health. Cognac which is sometimes … Continue reading What My TV Told Me Today: The Health Benefits Of Alcohol

A cartoon of someone without a weapon facing a burglar with a gun. By Oddball Times

Dangerous Weapons Don’t Kill People, Dangerous People Do

I heard on the local news a few days ago that the police were having an amnesty on dangerous weapons. They said that people should anonymously surrender any weapons they own without facing any charges... brilliant! As soon as I heard this, I frantically ran around my house looking for any weaponry, and I found … Continue reading Dangerous Weapons Don’t Kill People, Dangerous People Do

An image of a cow with a speech bubble telling her to cover up her teats. By Oddball Times

Oh Dairy, Dairy Me: New Breastfeeding Solidarity Laws

New legislation has come into effect today and it will affect all those people who object to women breastfeeding their babies in public places including restaurants and cafes. Starting from today, anybody who complains to members of staff about witnessing breast milk being fed to a baby will also not be allowed to order or … Continue reading Oh Dairy, Dairy Me: New Breastfeeding Solidarity Laws

A cartoon of Winnie Mandela on a computer screen. By Oddball Times

The Mandela Effect: Proof That The Winnie Mandela Effect Is Real

If you don't already know, the “Winnie Mandela Effect” was named by paranormal expert Fiona Dustpan when she first realised that she wasn't the only person who wrongly believed Winnie Mandela spontaneously combusted in the 1990s. Dustpan insists that she remembers the media coverage of this event, she says that she vividly recalls video footage … Continue reading The Mandela Effect: Proof That The Winnie Mandela Effect Is Real