A side by side image of Rishi Sunak and Roddy from Flushed Away

He’s Flush: The Source Of Rishi Sunak’s Investments

It’s a five hour drive from Stanford to Glendale, a trip that Rishi Sunak once took whilst attending Stanford University in California. In 2006 just before graduating, he was spotted lurking around outside Dreamworks Animation in Glendale and was immediately cast in Flushed Away as the lead upper class rat “Roddy”. Influenced by his role and clutching a cheque from Aardman, Rishi moved into a … Continue reading He’s Flush: The Source Of Rishi Sunak’s Investments

A cartoon of two white nationalists in face masks lying on the floor after assulting each other

Confusing Times For Gammon: Inadvertent Self-Hatred Amidst The Coronavirus

In this difficult time, spare a thought for all the right-wing Islamophobes out there. After railing against halal meat and burkas for two decades, gammon across the nation now find themselves in a bit of a pickle. Since traditional supermarket shelves are being emptied by panic buyers, the only place to buy food is at their local Asian mini-marts. After swallowing their pride and donning … Continue reading Confusing Times For Gammon: Inadvertent Self-Hatred Amidst The Coronavirus

A parody image of Harrods paracetamol and Fortnum & Mason toilet paper

We Have Our Limits: COVID-19 Panic Buying Affecting All Establishments

After a flurry of panic buying and hoarding, supermarkets across Britain have put limits into place. Tesco, Sainsbury’s and Asda have all put a three-product limit on various grocery items but what about other retailers? I haven’t heard anything on the news about Fortnum & Mason. Can I only purchase three tins of Baerii Caviar? It’s only an “entry level caviar” and at £55.00 per … Continue reading We Have Our Limits: COVID-19 Panic Buying Affecting All Establishments

A caricature of Boris Johnson in blue by Oddball Times

Vote Boris Johnson! Says Boris Johnson

Hello all, I’m Boris Johnson, and in this general election I ask that you disregard my past when you make your selection… I breached Commons expenses rules, I backed the Iraq War I think Tower Hamlets and Bradford want to impose sharia law I’ve campaigned across England, I’ve travelled many, many miles Looking for flag-waving piccaninnies with their watermelon smiles Asians should vote Conservative, that … Continue reading Vote Boris Johnson! Says Boris Johnson

An image of MC Hammer with yellow skin and text Operation: Yellow Hammer

Operation Yellowhammer: Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em

Operation Yellowhammer, a contingency plan subtitled “Reasonable Worst Case Planning Assumptions”, has been cooked-up by the government in case of a “No Deal” Brexit. If that occurs, the folks in charge predict there’ll be medication shortages, food supply problems, and protests in the streets. Operation Yellowhammer, if you didn’t know, involves 90’s “rapper” MC Hammer using his harem hammer pants to smuggle much needed medical … Continue reading Operation Yellowhammer: Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em

A cartoon of a right-wing, racist, sexist, homophobic gammon. By Oddball Times

Can’t Say Or Do Anything Any More: It’s Political Correctness Gone Mad!

In the good old days when I was just a lad You could say what you wanted, oh, the fun that we had! Now everything I say is “wrong”, what I do is “bad” Can’t say or do anything, it’s P.C. gone mad There’s nowt wrong with me saying “coloured” or “queer” But now it’s “keep quiet or the coloured queers ‘ll hear” When I … Continue reading Can’t Say Or Do Anything Any More: It’s Political Correctness Gone Mad!

An image of Donald Trump looking at the department of justice seal. By Oddball Times

No Justice, No Hairpiece: A Subliminal Image Of Donald Trump At The Department Of Justice

Remember when Donald Trump said he could stand on New York’s Fifth Avenue and “shoot somebody” and still not lose any voters? Unfortunately this is true. The Teflon Don can pretty much do and say whatever he wants without any repercussions. No matter how many times he lies and cheats Trump never ever faces justice, but why? Well it’s all to do with subliminal imagery … Continue reading No Justice, No Hairpiece: A Subliminal Image Of Donald Trump At The Department Of Justice

The Japanese flag with the Death Star in the centre being interviewed by an Oddball Times microphone

A New Emperor: News From The Imperial Palace

After hearing the news that the old Emperor would be abdicating and the new Emperor would be succeeding him in May, I went half way across the globe to see the preparations for the great ceremony. I’ll be honest with you, I wasn’t keen on the last Emperor, what with the double life, the destroying of the Jedi Order and being an all-round menace. As … Continue reading A New Emperor: News From The Imperial Palace

A cartoon of a Petri dish with Colin Powell and Lewis Black inside. By Oddball Times

Celebrity Clone Lab: Colin Powell And Lewis Black

This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is comedian Lewis Black. If you don’t know, he’s the clone of retired four-star general and ex-secretary of state Colin Powell! Colin Powell, if you don’t remember, was the bloke who gave that remarkable presentation to the U.N. in 2003. Colin was confident that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction, in fact he stated that he was “absolutely … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Colin Powell And Lewis Black

A parody of Lord Kitchener Wants You poster to illustrate poppy fascism. By Oddball Times

Poppy Fascism Has Spread: From The Poppies In Flanders Field To The Poppy Fields In Afghanistan To The Lapel Of Spineless Celebrities

After fighting war after war against dictators and fascists, Britain now pays homage to dictatorships and fascism by forcing its citizens to wear the remembrance poppy. Brits love being pressured to don the red flower every November (and now October) as it apparently helps them remember how free they are. The public are reminded that the poppy has nothing to do with militarism although it … Continue reading Poppy Fascism Has Spread: From The Poppies In Flanders Field To The Poppy Fields In Afghanistan To The Lapel Of Spineless Celebrities

A parody of the Nike Colin Kaepernick advert. By Oddball Times

Product Idea: Colin Kaepernick Knee Pads

Now that Colin Kaepernick has trademarked his face, I have a fantastic idea for a Kaepernick-endorsed product and since he’s up for marketing himself for the likes of Nike, I’m sure he’ll love my idea. So what hair-brained concept have I come with today I hear you ask? Well, it’s a pair of Colin Kaepernick knee-pads! These knee pads could be produced by any power … Continue reading Product Idea: Colin Kaepernick Knee Pads

A cartoon of a Remain voter and a Leave voter fighting in front of a British and E.U. flag. By Oddball Times

Exit Stage Left Or Brexit Stage Right: What Is The Correct Position?

This week I asked two Brits, one Brexiteer and one Remainer About how they voted in the referendum, they said it was a no-brainer Tarquin said… “The EU is a utopia, it’s a beacon of peace And no, I don’t care how the EU treated Greece I voted remain because Richard Branson told me to My golly gosh, I do love the EU Brexit is … Continue reading Exit Stage Left Or Brexit Stage Right: What Is The Correct Position?

A cartoon image of a pig with the gammon section being interviewed by a reporter. By Oddball Times

Gammon: Getting To The Bottom Of Things

The farm I visited today had a couple of unhappy pigs, not because they were being intensively farmed, were living in bad conditions, being fed non-organic swill, and not because they were going to slaughter very soon. Their gripe was about something altogether different. They said that even though they would prefer not to have their backsides cured, turned to gammon and placed on a … Continue reading Gammon: Getting To The Bottom Of Things

A parody of the Build-A-Bear Workshop logo with masonic symbolism. By Oddball Times

If You Go Down In The Woods Today: En Route To The Bilderberg Group

What the masonic hell is going on?! I made all the necessary preparations to infiltrate this year’s Bilderberg Group Meeting, I took my camera, my placard saying “I’m with Alex Jones“ (I was planning on getting her autograph later, love The One Show on the BBC), I also took some sandwiches and a flask of tea. It took me bloodlines-forever to find the place although … Continue reading If You Go Down In The Woods Today: En Route To The Bilderberg Group

A cartoon image of Malcolm X in a superhero costume. By Oddball Times

Cultural Appropriation Month: Black Superheroes

I was wondering the other day, when Professor Xavier opened his X-Mansion at 1407 Graymalkin Lane, Salem Center, Westchester County, New York and gathered his X-Men, why amongst Wolverine, Rogue, Jean Grey, Cyclops, Beast and Gambit didn’t they include Malcolm? He lived and worked in New York so he wouldn’t have had far to travel and surely he was the only other one with “X” … Continue reading Cultural Appropriation Month: Black Superheroes

A cartoon illustration of an active school shooter in the rubble of a dismantled school building. By Oddball Times

From Swots to SWAT: The Obvious Solution To Prevent School Shootings

Every time there’s a school shooting, politicians, pundits, and members of the public question what we should change… Maybe we should arm the teachers? Err… no, imagine your worst P.E. teacher with a Glock? Terrible idea. Okay, so maybe we should place body scanners in all schools? Err… no, imagine all the nonce security guards salivating over the student’s body outline. There have also been … Continue reading From Swots to SWAT: The Obvious Solution To Prevent School Shootings

A caricature of a grey and miserable Theresa May with a cubist influence. By Oddball Times

Theresa May: Democracy May Never Have Existed

She may have been born in Sussex. She may have studied Geography. She may be married to a bloke called Philip. She may have a shoe fetish. She may live in a flat above a terrace house. She may be scared of snakes. She may be all these things but she’s not like us. She grew up in Oxfordshire, she studied at Oxford University, her husband … Continue reading Theresa May: Democracy May Never Have Existed

A picture of Jeremy Corbyn with muscles to illustrate his fan's perception of him. By Oddball Times

Jeremy Corbyn Will Fix Everything

Jeremy Corbyn will fix everything It’s not just me fawning Jeremy Corbyn will sort everything He’s gonna reverse global warming Jeremy Corbyn will end hunger, death, and disease He’s gonna bring peace to all the middle east Jeremy Corbyn will fix everything I’m not being sycophantic Jeremy Corbyn will save lives From the Pacific to the Atlantic Jeremy Corbyn will save the condor, the rhino, … Continue reading Jeremy Corbyn Will Fix Everything

A cartoon of a microphone pointing at Donald Trump's hair. By Oddball Times

Donald J. Trump: What It’s Like Being On Top

  This week I went to Washington D.C. to meet Donald Trump. I wanted to know how he had become President and why so many people hated him. When I got to Washington it was difficult getting an interview as there were a stream of Presidential bodyguards. I finally managed to shout my questions at a press conference but got no answer. Then a fellow … Continue reading Donald J. Trump: What It’s Like Being On Top