Every time there's a school shooting, politicians, pundits, and members of the public question what we should change... Maybe we should arm the teachers? Err... no, imagine your worst P.E. teacher with a Glock? Terrible idea. Okay, so maybe we should place body scanners in all schools? Err... no, imagine all the nonce security guards … Continue reading From Swots to SWAT: The Obvious Solution To Prevent School Shootings
Tom Cruise And Suri Cruise: Mistaken A.I.dentity
This week I went out to California to meet Tom Cruise. I felt overwhelmed but I managed to ask Tom how it felt to be a father and what it was like to be one of three dads. I was amongst other reporters so I think he didn't hear me. I continued unperturbed. I asked … Continue reading Tom Cruise And Suri Cruise: Mistaken A.I.dentity
Soft Drinks Have Gone Soft: Why There’s Nothing Sweet About Artificial Sweeteners
Saccharin and spice and all things nice? A spoonful of Aspartame makes the medicine go down? Pour some Sorbitol on me? Stevia, ah honey honey? Brown Sucralose. Just like a young girl should? Change an ingredient and a product is no longer the same. Tell that to Lucozade, Irn Bru, 7Up, Fanta, Sprite, and the … Continue reading Soft Drinks Have Gone Soft: Why There’s Nothing Sweet About Artificial Sweeteners
Prince Harry To Marry: How To Nuptially Offset And Omit Racism From History
Once it was officially announced that Prince Harry was to marry Meghan Markle, prejudiced celebs around the world rejoiced! Surely they too could replicate this media-savvy tactic? Apparently one Meghan Markle cancels out one Nazi costume and a few racial slurs, and once a wedding ring is screwed firmly onto that mixed-raced American's finger, nobody … Continue reading Prince Harry To Marry: How To Nuptially Offset And Omit Racism From History
Dangerous Weapons Don’t Kill People, Dangerous People Do
I heard on the local news a few days ago that the police were having an amnesty on dangerous weapons. They said that people should anonymously surrender any weapons they own without facing any charges... brilliant! As soon as I heard this, I frantically ran around my house looking for any weaponry, and I found … Continue reading Dangerous Weapons Don’t Kill People, Dangerous People Do
Sipping Lean In 2017: It’s Not A Good Look Being A Codeine Fiend
If you don't know, Lean or Purple Drank is a recreational drug, a concoction made by mixing cough syrup containing Codeine and Promethazine with Sprite (and sometimes a hard boiled sweet such as a Jolly Rancher for some extra sweetness). The side effects of Lean include dizziness, blurred vision, nausea, and memory problems. Because of … Continue reading Sipping Lean In 2017: It’s Not A Good Look Being A Codeine Fiend
Harvey Weinstein: Big Pimping
Harvey Weinstein sitting atop the Hollywood Tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G (plus harassment, sexual assault, and rape, allegedly) Everyone on the lower branches gave him way too many chances They ignored or covered up his unwanted sexual advances This was something actresses had to get used ta All 'cause he was a hot shot producer What that means … Continue reading Harvey Weinstein: Big Pimping
