A parody of Lord Kitchener Wants You poster to illustrate poppy fascism. By Oddball Times

Poppy Fascism Has Spread: From The Poppies In Flanders Field To The Poppy Fields In Afghanistan To The Lapel Of Spineless Celebrities

After fighting war after war against dictators and fascists, Britain now pays homage to dictatorships and fascism by forcing its citizens to wear the remembrance poppy. Brits love being pressured to don the red flower every November (and now October) as it apparently helps them remember how free they are. The public are reminded that the poppy has nothing to do with militarism although it … Continue reading Poppy Fascism Has Spread: From The Poppies In Flanders Field To The Poppy Fields In Afghanistan To The Lapel Of Spineless Celebrities

A parody of the Nike Colin Kaepernick advert. By Oddball Times

Product Idea: Colin Kaepernick Knee Pads

Now that Colin Kaepernick has trademarked his face, I have a fantastic idea for a Kaepernick-endorsed product and since he’s up for marketing himself for the likes of Nike, I’m sure he’ll love my idea. So what hair-brained concept have I come with today I hear you ask? Well, it’s a pair of Colin Kaepernick knee-pads! These knee pads could be produced by any power … Continue reading Product Idea: Colin Kaepernick Knee Pads

A cartoon of a Remain voter and a Leave voter fighting in front of a British and E.U. flag. By Oddball Times

Exit Stage Left Or Brexit Stage Right: What Is The Correct Position?

This week I asked two Brits, one Brexiteer and one Remainer About how they voted in the referendum, they said it was a no-brainer   Tarquin said…   “The EU is a utopia, it’s a beacon of peace And no, I don’t care how the EU treated Greece I voted remain because Richard Branson told me to My golly gosh, I do love the EU … Continue reading Exit Stage Left Or Brexit Stage Right: What Is The Correct Position?

A parody movie poster for an Andy Serkis biopic. By Oddball Times

Greenlit: A Big-Budget Andy Serkis Biopic

The life of Andy Serkis is to be told as a big-budget Hollywood movie sources tell us. The story of a young lad from Ruislip Manor going on to college, studying theatre and eventually becoming the foremost Motion Capture performer, has been green-lit for production. Studio executives have said that because of the popularity of CGI films and Motion-Capture performances, Serkis’ biopic will be entirely … Continue reading Greenlit: A Big-Budget Andy Serkis Biopic

A parody advert for Air Wick using the character of John Wick holding the air freshener and posing as the Jumpman Logo. By Oddball Times

Tie-In Product Idea: John Wick And Air Wick

When a film such as John Wick becomes popular, it’s time to think product tie-ins. There’s no doubt that John Wick and John Wick: Chapter 2 were massive hits at the box office, with the first movie netting over $88 million and the second instalment grossing over $171 million. It’s obvious that the next film in the series will be a bigger success and with … Continue reading Tie-In Product Idea: John Wick And Air Wick

A cartoon image of a pig with the gammon section being interviewed by a reporter. By Oddball Times

Gammon: Getting To The Bottom Of Things

The farm I visited today had a couple of unhappy pigs, not because they were being intensively farmed, were living in bad conditions, being fed non-organic swill, and not because they were going to slaughter very soon. Their gripe was about something altogether different. They said that even though they would prefer not to have their backsides cured, turned to gammon and placed on a … Continue reading Gammon: Getting To The Bottom Of Things

An image of Netta Barzilai alongside Harvey Weinstein showing that they look similar

Harvey Weinstein’s Secret Therapy: What It’s Like Being A Woman

Shortly after the world discovered that Harvey Weinstein was an alleged sexual harasser, sexual assaulter, and rapist, the man went under the radar and seemingly dropped off the map. There were reports that he was “in treatment” but people are now beginning to ask “what treatment?” and “where?”. Well, we have an exclusive for you folks, Harvey was forced by the Center For Misogyny Reassignment … Continue reading Harvey Weinstein’s Secret Therapy: What It’s Like Being A Woman

An image of a salt shaker containing 50% less salt. By Oddball Times

Cutting Your Intake By Half: How The Government Plans To Further Reduce Sugar And Salt

“This government isn’t for raising taxes, we’re for cutting taxes, in fact we’re known for cuts, that’s why we introduced a Sugar Tax, not to raise money from it but to cut the sugar from your diet.” That was the statement given by the Minister Of Duplicity today who went on to say that the population has become a nation of sugar and salt addicts … Continue reading Cutting Your Intake By Half: How The Government Plans To Further Reduce Sugar And Salt

A cartoon image of Malcolm X in a superhero costume. By Oddball Times

Cultural Appropriation Month: Black Superheroes

I was wondering the other day, when Professor Xavier opened his X-Mansion at 1407 Graymalkin Lane, Salem Center, Westchester County, New York and gathered his X-Men, why amongst Wolverine, Rogue, Jean Grey, Cyclops, Beast and Gambit didn’t they include Malcolm? He lived and worked in New York so he wouldn’t have had far to travel and surely he was the only other one with “X” … Continue reading Cultural Appropriation Month: Black Superheroes

A cartoon illustration of an active school shooter in the rubble of a dismantled school building. By Oddball Times

From Swots to SWAT: The Obvious Solution To Prevent School Shootings

Every time there’s a school shooting, politicians, pundits, and members of the public question what we should change… Maybe we should arm the teachers? Err… no, imagine your worst P.E. teacher with a Glock? Terrible idea. Okay, so maybe we should place body scanners in all schools? Err… no, imagine all the nonce security guards salivating over the student’s body outline. There have also been … Continue reading From Swots to SWAT: The Obvious Solution To Prevent School Shootings

A parody of an iPhone advert with Suri Cruise replacing Siri. By Oddball Times

Tom Cruise And Suri Cruise: Mistaken A.I.dentity

This week I went out to California to meet Tom Cruise. I felt overwhelmed but I managed to ask Tom how it felt to be a father and what it was like to be one of three dads. I was amongst other reporters so I think he didn’t hear me. I continued unperturbed. I asked him when he’d changed his name from Tom Gruber to … Continue reading Tom Cruise And Suri Cruise: Mistaken A.I.dentity

A cartoon image of a toxic waste can with a ring pull by Oddball Times

Soft Drinks Have Gone Soft: Why There’s Nothing Sweet About Artificial Sweeteners

Saccharin and spice and all things nice? A spoonful of Aspartame makes the medicine go down? Pour some Sorbitol on me? Stevia, ah honey honey? Brown Sucralose. Just like a young girl should? Change an ingredient and a product is no longer the same. Tell that to Lucozade, Irn Bru, 7Up, Fanta, Sprite, and the rest of the Sugar Tax-appeasing bastards. You bitter, old scrotes! Continue reading Soft Drinks Have Gone Soft: Why There’s Nothing Sweet About Artificial Sweeteners

A cartoon image of a scale with Meghan Markle tipping over the Nazi swastika. By Oddball Times

Prince Harry To Marry: How To Nuptially Offset And Omit Racism From History

Once it was officially announced that Prince Harry was to marry Meghan Markle, prejudiced celebs around the world rejoiced! Surely they too could replicate this media-savvy tactic? Apparently one Meghan Markle cancels out one Nazi costume and a few racial slurs, and once a wedding ring is screwed firmly onto that mixed-raced American’s finger, nobody will ever recall those “Paki” and “Raghead” comments that Harry … Continue reading Prince Harry To Marry: How To Nuptially Offset And Omit Racism From History

A cartoon of someone without a weapon facing a burglar with a gun. By Oddball Times

Dangerous Weapons Don’t Kill People, Dangerous People Do

I heard on the local news a few days ago that the police were having an amnesty on dangerous weapons. They said that people should anonymously surrender any weapons they own without facing any charges… brilliant! As soon as I heard this, I frantically ran around my house looking for any weaponry, and I found lots; hammers, knives, an axe, a chainsaw, a cricket bat. … Continue reading Dangerous Weapons Don’t Kill People, Dangerous People Do

A cartoon of a cliched lean addict with tattoos. By Oddball Times

Sipping Lean In 2017: It’s Not A Good Look Being A Codeine Fiend

If you don’t know, Lean or Purple Drank is a recreational drug, a concoction made by mixing cough syrup containing Codeine and Promethazine with Sprite (and sometimes a hard boiled sweet such as a Jolly Rancher for some extra sweetness). The side effects of Lean include dizziness, blurred vision, nausea, and memory problems. Because of the Codeine content, another side effect of consuming Lean is … Continue reading Sipping Lean In 2017: It’s Not A Good Look Being A Codeine Fiend

A cartoon image of Harvey Weinstein showering nude. By Oddball Times

Harvey Weinstein: Big Pimping

Harvey Weinstein sitting atop the Hollywood Tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G (plus harassment, sexual assault, and rape, allegedly) Everyone on the lower branches gave him way too many chances They ignored or covered up his unwanted sexual advances This was something actresses had to get used ta All ’cause he was a hot shot producer What that means folks, is he had the power To fill the cinema … Continue reading Harvey Weinstein: Big Pimping

A caricature of a grey and miserable Theresa May with a cubist influence. By Oddball Times

Theresa May: Democracy May Never Have Existed

She may have been born in Sussex. She may have studied Geography. She may be married to a bloke called Philip. She may have a shoe fetish. She may live in a flat above a terrace house. She may be scared of snakes. She may be all these things but she’s not like us. She grew up in Oxfordshire, she studied at Oxford University, her husband … Continue reading Theresa May: Democracy May Never Have Existed

An image of a cow with a speech bubble telling her to cover up her teats. By Oddball Times

Oh Dairy, Dairy Me: New Breastfeeding Solidarity Laws

New legislation has come into effect today and it will affect all those people who object to women breastfeeding their babies in public places including restaurants and cafes. Starting from today, anybody who complains to members of staff about witnessing breast milk being fed to a baby will also not be allowed to order or consume anything containing milk. To make things clear; that’s no … Continue reading Oh Dairy, Dairy Me: New Breastfeeding Solidarity Laws

A parody of a graph showing smaller vehicles being used in acts of terrorism. By Oddball Times

Terrorism’s Decline: A Prediction Of Future Terror

From flying a plane into a building, to ramming a truck into a crowd of people, to driving a car toward some policemen, it’s plain to see that terrorism is slowly waining from its grandiose, post-millennial spectacle. With terrorism now taking the form of a road vehicle rather than an aircraft, or a knife rather than a bomb, will international terrorism continue in this downward … Continue reading Terrorism’s Decline: A Prediction Of Future Terror

A cartoon of an elderly man generating energy from his stress at hearing the news of energy price increases

Energy Price Hikes: Harnessing The Power

The recent news that energy prices are increasing yet again has lead to feelings of anger which luckily, can now be harnessed in order to power our electronic devices! By wearing this new anger-converter, you can transform your loathing, anger, stress, and despair into electricity. This electricity can then be used to power devices such as your smartphone and energy companies like British Gas, EDF, E.ON … Continue reading Energy Price Hikes: Harnessing The Power

A cartoon picture of HAL from 2001, WOPR from WarGames, and an Amazon Echo referencing the Cleese, Barker, and Corbett Class Sketch. By Oddball Times

Smart Speakers: I Know My Place

Everyone seems to own a smart speaker these days. I own an Amazon Echo and a Google Home. Today I asked “Google, who would win in a fight between Proteus IV, HAL 9000, WOPR, Skynet, Colossus, and the human race?” …the damn thing didn’t respond. I then moved over to the Echo and said “Alexa, play Demon Seed and tell me the dictionary definition of irony”. Continue reading Smart Speakers: I Know My Place

A cartoon of a chinook bringing emergency aid to the Hollywood hills. By Oddball Times

Bill Gates: Control, Alt, Delete

Hey Bill, I have a brilliant idea and I’m sure you’ll be thrilled to hear it. I listened avidly to your speeches supporting eugenics and global depopulation. Firstly I had to look up the word “Philanthropic” because I thought it meant something quite different. You say the world is growing in population and your vaccines and sterilisation programs could really depopulate those who, as you … Continue reading Bill Gates: Control, Alt, Delete

A cartoon of a microphone pointing at Donald Trump's hair. By Oddball Times

Donald J. Trump: What It’s Like Being On Top

  This week I went to Washington D.C. to meet Donald Trump. I wanted to know how he had become President and why so many people hated him. When I got to Washington it was difficult getting an interview as there were a stream of Presidential bodyguards. I finally managed to shout my questions at a press conference but got no answer. Then a fellow … Continue reading Donald J. Trump: What It’s Like Being On Top

A cartoon of a roadman wearing an Adidas tracksuit standing in the Ends. By Oddball Times

Subliminal Advertising For Adidas Knockoffs Goes National

Have you noticed that all the road markings around the UK are either single or double lines? Why not three? The answer is simple, this is all part of a national drive to promote Adidas knockoffs to the teenage population. Three stripes are of course a trademark of Adidas, therefore two stripes are usually a tell-tale sign that you’re wearing a cheap imitation. Adidas tracksuits … Continue reading Subliminal Advertising For Adidas Knockoffs Goes National