Operation Yellowhammer, a contingency plan subtitled “Reasonable Worst Case Planning Assumptions”, has been cooked-up by the government in case of a "No Deal" Brexit. If that occurs, the folks in charge predict there'll be medication shortages, food supply problems, and protests in the streets. Operation Yellowhammer, if you didn't know, involves 90's “rapper” MC Hammer … Continue reading Operation Yellowhammer: Please Hammer Don’t Hurt ‘Em
Blackpool-born Jenna Coleman is most famous for her work in northern soap opera Emmerdale but what many don't know is that a few years before being cast as Jasmine Thomas, her DNA was sampled and placed in some liquid nitrogen that was cleverly hidden in a jar of Coleman's Mustard. Coleman's genes were supposed to … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Isabela Moner And Jenna Coleman
Francis Ford Coppola has been messing with his movies over the last decade or so, needlessly lengthening films such as Apocalypse Now and The Outsiders. Whether he's ruined his own films by re-editing them or not (and he has) the fact that he doesn't mind fiddling with his own creations surely means that my idea … Continue reading An Offer You Can’t Refuse: A Tropicana Sanguinello Advertising Idea
It's not true what they say: Chris Pine isn't the son of actors Robert Pine and Gwynne Gilford, oh no, he's a hybridised clone! For proof, we ask you to look at Pine's Leonardo DiCaprio-esque eyes and his Brian Thompson-esque jaw, he's so obviously an amalgamation of the two actors. One day during a power … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Pine
Hi there! I was listening to some music in the summer heat and I remembered the time when everyone said that Michael Jackson was Bad. These unfounded accusations went on and on and there were millions of people shouting the same thing. They were chasing Michael down the street screaming and crying whilst his chauffeur … Continue reading Review Rewind: Bad By Michael Jackson
In the good old days when I was just a lad You could say what you wanted, oh, the fun that we had! Now everything I say is “wrong”, what I do is "bad" Can't say or do anything, it's P.C. gone mad There's nowt wrong with me saying “coloured” or “queer” But now it's … Continue reading Can’t Say Or Do Anything Any More: It’s Political Correctness Gone Mad!
Here's my idea for an an advert promoting Grillz. “Grills” I hear you say, like George Foreman? Of course not silly, I'm referring to Grillz spelled with a "z", you know, the gold teeth that used to look cool back in the '90s but now they're corny as f... well, never mind who wears what … Continue reading All Work And No Pay Makes Jack’s Bling Dull Bwoy: A Grillz Advertising Idea