At 6.7 miles high, Stephen James Merchant is the first to feel the effects of air pollution. Stephen Merchant is so tall in fact, that he can personally observe the hole in the ozone layer! Fearing that rising greenhouse gas emissions may adversely effect Merchant's nostrils and eventually his noggin, the Celebrity Clone Lab took … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Greta Thunberg And Stephen Merchant
Celebrity Clone Lab: Tucker Carlson And Ed Conway
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Fox News talk show host Tucker Carlson. In case you didn't know, his clone Ed Conway works at Sky News as an Economics Editor. Tucker is a typical Fox News presenter; racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic and anti-immigration. Thank heavens that his clone Ed Conway is only concerned … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Tucker Carlson And Ed Conway
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Scott Wolf
What do you get if you splice 1 Fox with Mapother to the power of 4?
Celebrity Clone Lab: Jess Conrad And Tom Cruise
In 1961, Jess Conrad went through an existential crisis and this was exhibited in his song “Why Am I Living?”. It was during this time that his DNA was swabbed so a more reliable clone could be created, a clone who was “born” in 1962.
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Christopher Ciccone
In case you didn't know, Christopher Ciccone is a hybridised clone made from the spliced genes of comedian Norm MacDonald and film-maker Quentin Tarantino. Norm MacDonald tried to alert the public that his DNA was blended with Quentin Tarantino's on Saturday Night Live, and yet despite this obvious cry for help, it was dismissed as … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Christopher Ciccone
Celebrity Clone Lab: The Walking Dead Edition
Pay close attention to the cast of The Walking Dead and you'll notice that some of those folks look kinda familiar. There must be a clone lab somewhere in Georgia because this show is full of them! Actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan who plays “Negan” is a clone of actor Javier Bardem... Actor Danai Gurira who … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: The Walking Dead Edition
Celebrity Clone Lab: Yungblud And Fairuza Balk
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is singer YUNGBLUD (real name Dominic Richard Harrison) and actor Fairuza Balk. Just look at the resemblance! Fairuza Balk starred in the film The Craft in which four outcast teens took part in rituals and cast various spells after becoming interested in witchcraft. Aside from the love spells … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Yungblud And Fairuza Balk
Celebrity Clone Lab: Sara Pascoe And Sara Dallin
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is comedian Sara Pascoe and singer Sara Dallin. Just look at the pair's uncanny resemblance! After a quick DNA swab at the London College Of Fashion, Sara Dallin's cells were immediately used to produce a clone. It wasn't just Dallin's group Bananarama that was created in 1981, … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Sara Pascoe And Sara Dallin
Celebrity Clone Lab: Azealia Banks And William Jackson Harper
If you've ever thought to yourself "what happens when a clone is dropped on its head?", we have the answer! William Jackson Harper's clone Azealia Banks was dropped 212 times whist being transported from Dallas, Texas to Harlem, New York. The crucible tongs that held onto Azealia's forehead slipped multiple times due to her being … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Azealia Banks And William Jackson Harper
Celebrity Clone Lab: Gemma Collins And Goldie Hawn
Gemma Collins is most definitely the clone of Goldie Hawn. I mean c'mon, when you take a gander at these two, it's obvious... they're so similar-looking that there can't be any other explanation! But what proof do you have we hear you ask? Well, we think it's quite telling that Gemma Collins before becoming a … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Gemma Collins And Goldie Hawn
Celebrity Clone Lab: Jack Whitehall And John Quayle
It's obvious that Michael Whitehall isn't Jack Whitehall's real father; a Conservative supporter in his late 40s couldn't sire a child for goodness sake! It's a well known fact that aside from their haughtiness, Conservative supporters' testes are too wizened from all their pent-up aggression. Jack therefore, did not emanate from Mike's urinary meatus, no, … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jack Whitehall And John Quayle
Celebrity Clone Lab: Imogen Poots And Helen Mirren
You can't keep the truth buried for long folks! We're almost, nearly, sort of, certain that there's a Top Secret Celebrity Clone Lab somewhere in the Queen Charlotte's And Chelsea Hospital in Hammersmith, London. Why do we think that? Well, this is where two of the most famous Hammersmith celebrities were created... or as the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Imogen Poots And Helen Mirren
Celebrity Clone Lab: Isabela Moner And Jenna Coleman
Blackpool-born Jenna Coleman is most famous for her work in northern soap opera Emmerdale but what many don't know is that a few years before being cast as Jasmine Thomas, her DNA was sampled and placed in some liquid nitrogen that was cleverly hidden in a jar of Coleman's Mustard. Coleman's genes were supposed to … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Isabela Moner And Jenna Coleman
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Pine
It's not true what they say: Chris Pine isn't the son of actors Robert Pine and Gwynne Gilford, oh no, he's a hybridised clone! For proof, we ask you to look at Pine's Leonardo DiCaprio-esque eyes and his Brian Thompson-esque jaw, he's so obviously an amalgamation of the two actors. One day during a power … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Pine
Celebrity Clone Lab: Rochelle Humes And Donna Summer
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Rochelle Humes, who if you don't already know, is the clone of Donna Summer, just look at the resemblance! In 1988, Donna Summer came to the UK to make an album with Stock, Aitken, and Waterman. During the recording of Another Place In Time, Summer's DNA was … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Rochelle Humes And Donna Summer
Celebrity Clone Lab: Jeff Bezos And Peter Safran
Way before Amazon existed, there was a mail order store called Congo owned and operated by the Celebrity Clone Lab who were located in a classified rainforest laboratory at the time. In the Congo, there was a fantastic gene recommendation system which was developed to sort all the celeb clones and if you know where … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jeff Bezos And Peter Safran
Celebrity Clone Lab: Peter Sutcliffe And Jeremy Dyson
Today in the Celebrity Clone Lab is screenwriter and writer Jeremy Dyson. If you don't know, he's the clone of serial killer Peter Sutcliffe! You simply need to look at the pair's thick, black, wavy hair to see that they are genetically linked but if you want more evidence we have it here... Before being … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Peter Sutcliffe And Jeremy Dyson
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Leslie Parrish
Leslie Parrish, who starred in the original Manchurian Candidate was made by splicing the genes of Lena Heady and Margot Robbie. I bet you didn't know that! Quite unexpectedly, Leslie Parrish turned out much better than her progenitors; she was an activist and environmentalist, she fought against the Vietnam War and for civil rights, she … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Leslie Parrish
Celebrity Clone Lab: Ted Bundy And George H. W. Bush
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is George H. W. Bush and Ted Bundy, just look at the uncanny resemblance! The interesting thing about this pair is that one was programmed to go into politics and the other was supposed to become a mass murderer. Unfortunately, even as a Republican, Ted Bundy failed to … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Ted Bundy And George H. W. Bush
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Odeya Rush
"Thank God" the scientists shouted as the genes of Mila Kunis and Chloë Grace Moretz were successfully spliced together seconds before the deadline of May 12th 1997. The result of the experiment was then named after this celebratory outcry; “Odeya” (which means "Thank God" in Hebrew) “Rush” (signifying the time it took to create her) … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Odeya Rush
Celebrity Clone Lab: Ice-T And Peter Dinklage
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is actor Peter Hayden Dinklage, who if you don't know, is the clone of rapper Tracy Lauren Marrow (aka Ice-T) just look at the resemblance! Before living in Crenshaw, Los Angeles, Ice-T was born and raised in New Jersey and that's where a swab of his DNA was … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Ice-T And Peter Dinklage
Celebrity Clone Lab: Daisy Ridley And Rhys James
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is actor Daisy Ridley. If you don't already know, she's the clone of comedian Rhys James. Now of course, the mainstream media will tell you that Daisy Ridley is a descendant of landed gentry, the great-niece of a Dad's Army actor, and the daughter of a banker and … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Daisy Ridley And Rhys James
Celebrity Clone Lab: Stacey Dooley And Jane Asher
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is TV presenter Stacey Dooley. If you don't know, she's the clone of actor Jane Asher! Now you may say that Dooley isn't a perfect copy of Asher and you'd be right. Records indicate that the Celebrity Clone Lab intended to create a perfect clone of Jane but … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Stacey Dooley And Jane Asher
Celebrity Clone Lab: Phil Lynott and Craig David
After the phenomenally successful career of Phil Lynott (with and without Thin Lizzy) the scientists at the Celebrity Clone Lab stored Phil's cells for later use, with the hopes of perhaps creating a similarly successful artist for the noughties' generation. The laboratory was very careful with the precious cells as they set about creating the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Phil Lynott and Craig David
Celebrity Clone Lab: Sandra Bullock And Michael Jackson
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Sandra Bullock, if you haven't already realised, she's a clone of Michael Jackson. Just look at the resemblance! When or where this cloning took place is a mystery but maybe Sandra's father John Bullock being a contractor for The Pentagon or her grandfather being a German rocket … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Sandra Bullock And Michael Jackson
Celebrity Clone Lab: Harry Hill And Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is TV chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. If you don't already know, he's the clone of slap-head comedian Harry Hill. Harry Hill's breakout 90's BBC Radio 4 show was called “Harry Hill's Fruit Corner” and his follow-up TV show for BBC Two was called “Fruit Fancies”. Then in the 00's, … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Harry Hill And Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall
Celebrity Clone Lab: Lee Evans And Fred West
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is stand-up comedian Lee Evans. If you don't know, he's the clone of serial killer Fred West! Oddball Times doesn't have much evidence of this particular celeb cloning as the files were lost, destroyed, or buried somewhere in Gloucester but just take a look at the resemblance; the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Lee Evans And Fred West
Far From The Maddening Crowd: My Interview With Tom Hardy
Do you know who I saw whilst I was visiting Hammersmith this week? None other than Thomas Hardy! He looked wonderful, some wrinkles but not many for his age. He wasn't wearing his usual tailcoat, double-breasted vest and wing-tip collar... oh no, not a hat or a pair of gloves in sight. In fact he … Continue reading Far From The Maddening Crowd: My Interview With Tom Hardy
Celebrity Clone Lab: Perez Hilton And Doug McClure
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Perez Hilton. Even though he doesn't want the public to know, we're gonna out him as a clone of the late actor Doug McClure. If you don't already know, Hilton, a blogger, columnist, and all-round douche is a hypocrite of the highest order. He is known for … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Perez Hilton And Doug McClure
Tom Cruise And Suri Cruise: Mistaken A.I.dentity
This week I went out to California to meet Tom Cruise. I felt overwhelmed but I managed to ask Tom how it felt to be a father and what it was like to be one of three dads. I was amongst other reporters so I think he didn't hear me. I continued unperturbed. I asked … Continue reading Tom Cruise And Suri Cruise: Mistaken A.I.dentity
Celebrity Clone Lab: Alex Jones And The Baldy Man
A brand new conspiracy for all you Oddball readers out there is that Alex Jones, the far-right Info Wars host is in fact a clone of The Baldy Man. Now in order to believe this conspiracy theory, you must first ignore that the Baldy Man is a fictional character played by comedian Gregor Fisher, but … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Alex Jones And The Baldy Man
Celebrity Clone Lab: Fred Trump And Josef Fritzl
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab it's Josef Fritzl. If you don't already know, he's the clone of Donald Trump's father Fred Trump! Fred Trump was a carpenter and he built twenty homes in Queens, New York by 1926. Seeing this success, the Celebrity Clone Lab took a swab from Fred's tash and cryogenically … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Fred Trump And Josef Fritzl
Kim Kardashian: Behind The Fame
I was so excited this week to meet someone called Kim Kardashian. She was surrounded by photographers and reporters but I managed to get an exclusive. I asked her, “Why are you so famous?”. I think she was taken aback as she didn't reply. She was generally very quiet throughout the interview although I did … Continue reading Kim Kardashian: Behind The Fame
