Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Luka Magnotta
Splicing genes to create a clone can have unexpected results! Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Luka Magnotta
Tag: celebs
Celebrity Clone Lab: Barney Walsh And Tom Hiddleston
Mischievous trickster Loki has only gone and bloomin’ cloned himself! Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Barney Walsh And Tom Hiddleston
Celebrity Clone Lab: James Corden And Chris Farley
Some people have twigged that James Corden is a clone of Chris Farley, especially when they realise Corden’s career began just when Farley died… how very convenient. What’s disappointing about this particular clone is that whether starring in a Tango advert or Gavin & Stacey, James isn’t very funny. Maybe the folk at CBS thought there’d be some residual personality left from Chris’ DNA or … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: James Corden And Chris Farley
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Abby McEnany
There’s a team of geneticists, working in partnership with the Central Intelligence Agency and New York Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medicine who travel between Virginia and New York in a nut-powered underground monorail. How do we know all this? Because Anderson Cooper was an intern at the C.I.A. and Dr. Anthony Fauci interned at the New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center. This pair’s DNA went on to create … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Abby McEnany
Celebrity Clone Lab: Jim Van Bebber And Michael Cohen
A little known fact is that most geneticists are fans and collectors of micro-budget 80’s action movies. We’re not talking Chuck Norris or Michael Dudikoff, oh no, these scientists have a very niche taste, and it can only be fulfilled with the cheapest, most underground films. This fanaticism sometimes leaks into their work. Proof of this comes when you see disgraced lawyer Michael Cohen; he … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jim Van Bebber And Michael Cohen
Celebrity Clone Lab: Diplo And David Bromstad
In case you didn’t realise, DJ and producer Diplo aka Thomas Wesley Pentz is the clone of designer and television personality David Reed Bromstad. In the 1970’s, the Celebrity Clone Lab had three laboratories located in Florida; one in Sarasota County, one in Orange County and one in Miami-Dade. We have no idea which lab created which celebrity but the fact that Diplo attended the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Diplo And David Bromstad
Celebrity Clone Lab: Greta Thunberg And Stephen Merchant
At 6.7 miles high, Stephen James Merchant is the first to feel the effects of air pollution. Stephen Merchant is so tall in fact, that he can personally observe the hole in the ozone layer! Fearing that rising greenhouse gas emissions may adversely effect Merchant’s nostrils and eventually his noggin, the Celebrity Clone Lab took a sample of his DNA during the writing of the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Greta Thunberg And Stephen Merchant
Celebrity Clone Lab: Tucker Carlson And Ed Conway
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Fox News talk show host Tucker Carlson. In case you didn’t know, his clone Ed Conway works at Sky News as an Economics Editor. Tucker is a typical Fox News presenter; racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic and anti-immigration. Thank heavens that his clone Ed Conway is only concerned with the colour of your money. Both were incubated in … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Tucker Carlson And Ed Conway
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Scott Wolf
What do you get if you splice 1 Fox with Mapother to the power of 4? Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Scott Wolf
Celebrity Clone Lab: Jess Conrad And Tom Cruise
In 1961, Jess Conrad went through an existential crisis and this was exhibited in his song “Why Am I Living?”. It was during this time that his DNA was swabbed so a more reliable clone could be created, a clone who was “born” in 1962. Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jess Conrad And Tom Cruise
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Christopher Ciccone
In case you didn’t know, Christopher Ciccone is a hybridised clone made from the spliced genes of comedian Norm MacDonald and film-maker Quentin Tarantino. Norm MacDonald tried to alert the public that his DNA was blended with Quentin Tarantino’s on Saturday Night Live, and yet despite this obvious cry for help, it was dismissed as an “impression”. If you don’t know who Christopher Ciccone is … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Christopher Ciccone
Celebrity Clone Lab: The Walking Dead Edition
Pay close attention to the cast of The Walking Dead and you’ll notice that some of those folks look kinda familiar … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: The Walking Dead Edition
Celebrity Clone Lab: Yungblud And Fairuza Balk
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is singer YUNGBLUD (real name Dominic Richard Harrison) and actor Fairuza Balk. Just look at the resemblance! Fairuza Balk starred in the film The Craft in which four outcast teens took part in rituals and cast various spells after becoming interested in witchcraft. Aside from the love spells and the hair-loss spells, one deleted scene featured Balk’s character … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Yungblud And Fairuza Balk
Celebrity Clone Lab: Sara Pascoe And Sara Dallin
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is comedian Sara Pascoe and singer Sara Dallin. Just look at the pair’s uncanny resemblance! After a quick DNA swab at the London College Of Fashion, Sara Dallin’s cells were immediately used to produce a clone. It wasn’t just Dallin’s group Bananarama that was created in 1981, so too was Pascoe! Sara Pascoe was gestated in a … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Sara Pascoe And Sara Dallin
Celebrity Clone Lab: Azealia Banks And William Jackson Harper
If you’ve ever thought to yourself “what happens when a clone is dropped on its head?”, we have the answer! William Jackson Harper’s clone Azealia Banks was dropped 212 times whist being transported from Dallas, Texas to Harlem, New York. The crucible tongs that held onto Azealia’s forehead slipped multiple times due to her being so slimy and that’s probably the reason for her peculiar … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Azealia Banks And William Jackson Harper
Celebrity Clone Lab: Gemma Collins And Goldie Hawn
Gemma Collins is most definitely the clone of Goldie Hawn. I mean c’mon, when you take a gander at these two, it’s obvious… they’re so similar-looking that there can’t be any other explanation! But what proof do you have we hear you ask? Well, we think it’s quite telling that Gemma Collins before becoming a reality star, was a used car seller and lo and … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Gemma Collins And Goldie Hawn
Celebrity Clone Lab: Jack Whitehall And John Quayle
It’s obvious that Michael Whitehall isn’t Jack Whitehall’s real father; a Conservative supporter in his late 40s couldn’t sire a child for goodness sake! It’s a well known fact that aside from their haughtiness, Conservative supporters’ testes are too wizened from all their pent-up aggression. Jack therefore, did not emanate from Mike’s urinary meatus, no, he was given to the producer and talent agent by … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jack Whitehall And John Quayle
Celebrity Clone Lab: Imogen Poots And Helen Mirren
You can’t keep the truth buried for long folks! We’re almost, nearly, sort of, certain that there’s a Top Secret Celebrity Clone Lab somewhere in the Queen Charlotte’s And Chelsea Hospital in Hammersmith, London. Why do we think that? Well, this is where two of the most famous Hammersmith celebrities were created… or as the official sources say: born. Helen Mirren (actor) was born at … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Imogen Poots And Helen Mirren
Celebrity Clone Lab: Isabela Moner And Jenna Coleman
Blackpool-born Jenna Coleman is most famous for her work in northern soap opera Emmerdale but what many don’t know is that a few years before being cast as Jasmine Thomas, her DNA was sampled and placed in some liquid nitrogen that was cleverly hidden in a jar of Coleman’s Mustard. Coleman’s genes were supposed to be handed over to a Celebrity Clone Lab scientist at … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Isabela Moner And Jenna Coleman
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Pine
It’s not true what they say: Chris Pine isn’t the son of actors Robert Pine and Gwynne Gilford, oh no, he’s a hybridised clone! For proof, we ask you to look at Pine’s Leonardo DiCaprio-esque eyes and his Brian Thompson-esque jaw, he’s so obviously an amalgamation of the two actors. One day during a power blackout, the DNA of Thompson (star of The Terminator and … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Pine
Celebrity Clone Lab: Rochelle Humes And Donna Summer
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Rochelle Humes, who if you don’t already know, is the clone of Donna Summer, just look at the resemblance! In 1988, Donna Summer came to the UK to make an album with Stock, Aitken, and Waterman. During the recording of Another Place In Time, Summer’s DNA was taken so a duplicate singer could be created in the … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Rochelle Humes And Donna Summer
Celebrity Clone Lab: Jeff Bezos And Peter Safran
Way before Amazon existed, there was a mail order store called Congo owned and operated by the Celebrity Clone Lab who were located in a classified rainforest laboratory at the time. In the Congo, there was a fantastic gene recommendation system which was developed to sort all the celeb clones and if you know where to look, you can still find remnants of this directory … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jeff Bezos And Peter Safran
Celebrity Clone Lab: Peter Sutcliffe And Jeremy Dyson
Today in the Celebrity Clone Lab is screenwriter and writer Jeremy Dyson. If you don’t know, he’s the clone of serial killer Peter Sutcliffe! You simply need to look at the pair’s thick, black, wavy hair to see that they are genetically linked but if you want more evidence we have it here… Before being locked up for life for killing thirteen women, Peter Sutcliffe … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Peter Sutcliffe And Jeremy Dyson
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Leslie Parrish
Leslie Parrish, who starred in the original Manchurian Candidate was made by splicing the genes of Lena Heady and Margot Robbie. I bet you didn’t know that! Quite unexpectedly, Leslie Parrish turned out much better than her progenitors; she was an activist and environmentalist, she fought against the Vietnam War and for civil rights, she created a television station that pre-empted C-SPAN, she built a … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Leslie Parrish
Celebrity Clone Lab: Ted Bundy And George H. W. Bush
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is George H. W. Bush and Ted Bundy, just look at the uncanny resemblance! The interesting thing about this pair is that one was programmed to go into politics and the other was supposed to become a mass murderer. Unfortunately, even as a Republican, Ted Bundy failed to become a politician but thankfully George Herbert Walker Bush became … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Ted Bundy And George H. W. Bush
Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Odeya Rush
“Thank God” the scientists shouted as the genes of Mila Kunis and Chloë Grace Moretz were successfully spliced together seconds before the deadline of May 12th 1997. The result of the experiment was then named after this celebratory outcry; “Odeya” (which means “Thank God” in Hebrew) “Rush” (signifying the time it took to create her) is now a talented actor and model thanks to this … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Odeya Rush
Celebrity Clone Lab: Ice-T And Peter Dinklage
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is actor Peter Hayden Dinklage, who if you don’t know, is the clone of rapper Tracy Lauren Marrow (aka Ice-T) just look at the resemblance! Before living in Crenshaw, Los Angeles, Ice-T was born and raised in New Jersey and that’s where a swab of his DNA was first taken as a precaution. As you may know, becoming … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Ice-T And Peter Dinklage
Celebrity Clone Lab: Daisy Ridley And Rhys James
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is actor Daisy Ridley. If you don’t already know, she’s the clone of comedian Rhys James. Now of course, the mainstream media will tell you that Daisy Ridley is a descendant of landed gentry, the great-niece of a Dad’s Army actor, and the daughter of a banker and a photographer but all that’s a lie. The truth is … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Daisy Ridley And Rhys James
Celebrity Clone Lab: Stacey Dooley And Jane Asher
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is TV presenter Stacey Dooley. If you don’t know, she’s the clone of actor Jane Asher! Now you may say that Dooley isn’t a perfect copy of Asher and you’d be right. Records indicate that the Celebrity Clone Lab intended to create a perfect clone of Jane but due to renovation work, they had to relocate to a … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Stacey Dooley And Jane Asher
Celebrity Clone Lab: Phil Lynott and Craig David
After the phenomenally successful career of Phil Lynott (with and without Thin Lizzy) the scientists at the Celebrity Clone Lab stored Phil’s cells for later use, with the hopes of perhaps creating a similarly successful artist for the noughties’ generation. The laboratory was very careful with the precious cells as they set about creating the clone. The scientists told us: “The experiment started on Monday … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Phil Lynott and Craig David
Celebrity Clone Lab: Sandra Bullock And Michael Jackson
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is Sandra Bullock, if you haven’t already realised, she’s a clone of Michael Jackson. Just look at the resemblance! When or where this cloning took place is a mystery but maybe Sandra’s father John Bullock being a contractor for The Pentagon or her grandfather being a German rocket scientist is an indication that she has secretive military and … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Sandra Bullock And Michael Jackson
Celebrity Clone Lab: Harry Hill And Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is TV chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. If you don’t already know, he’s the clone of slap-head comedian Harry Hill. Harry Hill’s breakout 90’s BBC Radio 4 show was called “Harry Hill’s Fruit Corner” and his follow-up TV show for BBC Two was called “Fruit Fancies”. Then in the 00’s, Harry Hill did a voiceover for a Branston Pickle advert … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Harry Hill And Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall
Celebrity Clone Lab: Lee Evans And Fred West
This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is stand-up comedian Lee Evans. If you don’t know, he’s the clone of serial killer Fred West! Oddball Times doesn’t have much evidence of this particular celeb cloning as the files were lost, destroyed, or buried somewhere in Gloucester but just take a look at the resemblance; the black hair, the dodgy smile, the South West accent, it’s … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Lee Evans And Fred West
