A movie poster for a Jimmy Dore monologue starring Waleed Zuaiter by Oddball Times

The Incredible Casting Crew: Waleed Zuaiter As Jimmy Dore

Our big-budget blockbuster about Rich Hall never got green-lit so how about this smaller-scale movie? The Incredible Casting Crew today pitches a dramedy, an Alan Bennett-style monologue performed by Gangs Of London star Waleed Zuaiter. Waleed plays pothead comedian Jimmy Dore who after being vaccine injured begins to rail against the official Covid narrative. Dore goes about proving that all those involved from the President’s Chief … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Waleed Zuaiter As Jimmy Dore

An image of a spiky green horse chestnut seed aka conker aka buckeye that looks like a Coronavirus cell

The Coronavirus Is Still Out There: We’re Not Even Safe In Our Streets!

As always, the Government is right! COVID’s everywhere… so be aware. I found one COVID virus waiting idly by a tree, probably waiting to pounce on a passer by (It’s bigger than on TV). Being an investigative reporter I had to ask it some questions. With my Mic 2 metres away and mask fully on, I asked it why it was so eager to get … Continue reading The Coronavirus Is Still Out There: We’re Not Even Safe In Our Streets!

A cartoon illustration of a bird being released but still wearing a mask

Freedom Day: Not To Be Confused With Actual Freedom

Freedom Day didn’t happen on 21st June, it was delayed until 19th July, but never mind. With a week to go, I can’t wait for all the freedom we’ll be given: Free to walk without the 2 metre restriction Free to keep my hands filthy Free to slap the helmet off a policeman Free to burgle my local bank Free to rape, kill, commit mass … Continue reading Freedom Day: Not To Be Confused With Actual Freedom

A cartoon of office cubicles with happy workers

Covid Schmovid: Getting Back To The Old Normal

Come on now, all you hesitant people, why are you all scared of getting the COVID vaccine? I’m raring to get out of my house and back to my 2 hour commute to work. I can’t wait not to tell a waiter that my salad had a hair in it and that the glass had the last customer’s lipstick on it. I’m chomping at the … Continue reading Covid Schmovid: Getting Back To The Old Normal

A cartoon of a syringe going through the heads and ears of black and minority ethnic people

This Time It’ll Be Okay: Wham BAME Thank You Fam

I watched the COVID public service announcement on TV for the B.A.M.E. community eagerly. Well blow me, there’s nothing like forgetting the Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment after Beverley Knight tells us “all we have to do is just take the vaccine”. They assured us that the COVID vaccine has gone through as many “strict process and regulations as other vaccines like measles, mumps, rubella and TB”…well … Continue reading This Time It’ll Be Okay: Wham BAME Thank You Fam

Coronavirus wearing santa hats alongside oranges with cloves in them

Looking Closely At The Coronavirus: Why Christmas Rules Are So Different

After hearing the recent news about Xmas 2020 celebrations here in the UK, you might be thinking to yourself “why is the government allowing a three-house bubble during Christmas?”. Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs and Jews didn’t get to extend their “bubble” during their festivals so what’s so special about this Christian holiday? With the Coronavirus in full infectious swing, what’s going to stop our family and … Continue reading Looking Closely At The Coronavirus: Why Christmas Rules Are So Different

Christmas stockings with Coronavirus related gifts in them

Have A Merry COVID Christmas And A Happy New Vaccinated Year!

Christmas is always an exciting time and this year will be one of a kind. You’ve had a smashing year so far with five months off school. Even when you’ve had to go back, you can sit on your own instead of sharing with some dickhead your mum paired you up with when you were 2 and he’s now stuck to you like shit to … Continue reading Have A Merry COVID Christmas And A Happy New Vaccinated Year!

A cartoon image of three trick or treaters holding buckets and antibacterial wipes

Tales From The Creepy COVID Crypt: A 2020 Halloween Special

What will you be doing this Halloween? You can’t go out with your 5 friends to trick or treat your neighbours, unless you live in a group home. You’ll have to go on your own or walk 2 metres away from your friend like a depressing zombie movie. At least you can throw toilet rolls and eggs at your neighbours, but they will probably open … Continue reading Tales From The Creepy COVID Crypt: A 2020 Halloween Special

A heist blueprint involving stealing keys

The Key Cutting Caper: How Key Workers Ruined My Pandemic Pilferage

Having read the government’s statement about certain people being asked to continue working whilst the rest of us stay at home (due to this pesky joint US/Chinese lab-rat-bat virus pandemic) I felt very happy. Without divulging my methods, I recently “happened upon” my neighbour’s shed key in order to “borrow” his lawnmower and so I used my one-hour allocated exercise period to take it to … Continue reading The Key Cutting Caper: How Key Workers Ruined My Pandemic Pilferage

A cartoon of a hedgehog going shopping during the COVID-19 crisis

Hogging It All: The Life Of A Hedgehog Amidst The Coronavirus Pandemic

As I do each year, I woke up to sun hitting my face. I love this time of year, the end of hibernation means I can get out and about, meet friends and enjoy the fresh air. Today I looked out and saw a wonderfully sunny day and I thought “right, that’s it, what I need right now is a stroll in the sun to … Continue reading Hogging It All: The Life Of A Hedgehog Amidst The Coronavirus Pandemic

A cartoon of two white nationalists in face masks lying on the floor after assulting each other

Confusing Times For Gammon: Inadvertent Self-Hatred Amidst The Coronavirus

In this difficult time, spare a thought for all the right-wing Islamophobes out there. After railing against halal meat and burkas for two decades, gammon across the nation now find themselves in a bit of a pickle. Since traditional supermarket shelves are being emptied by panic buyers, the only place to buy food is at their local Asian mini-marts. After swallowing their pride and donning … Continue reading Confusing Times For Gammon: Inadvertent Self-Hatred Amidst The Coronavirus

A parody image of Harrods paracetamol and Fortnum & Mason toilet paper

We Have Our Limits: COVID-19 Panic Buying Affecting All Establishments

After a flurry of panic buying and hoarding, supermarkets across Britain have put limits into place. Tesco, Sainsbury’s and Asda have all put a three-product limit on various grocery items but what about other retailers? I haven’t heard anything on the news about Fortnum & Mason. Can I only purchase three tins of Baerii Caviar? It’s only an “entry level caviar” and at £55.00 per … Continue reading We Have Our Limits: COVID-19 Panic Buying Affecting All Establishments