Tag: hollywood

A movie poster for a Jimmy Dore monologue starring Waleed Zuaiter by Oddball Times
Celebrities, Film, Incredible Casting Crew

The Incredible Casting Crew: Waleed Zuaiter As Jimmy Dore

Our big-budget blockbuster about Rich Hall never got green-lit so how about this smaller-scale movie? The Incredible Casting Crew today pitches a dramedy, an Alan Bennett-style monologue performed by Gangs Of London star Waleed Zuaiter. Waleed plays pothead comedian Jimmy Dore who after being vaccine injured begins to rail against the official Covid narrative. Dore goes about proving that all those involved from the President’s Chief … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Waleed Zuaiter As Jimmy Dore

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A cartoon of three pods with Gerard Butler, Vincent Reagan, and Nick Knowles' heads in them. By Oddball Times
Celebrities, Celebrity Gene Splicing, Film

Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Gerard Butler

What happens when you splice together the genes of a presenter and “singer” with an actor? The answer is you get a drunken law student who wanted to be famous! Gerard Butler has played Atilla The Hun, the Transylvanian Dracula, a Greek Spartan King, and the Egyptian god of the desert because he’s just that varied a performer, and of course, he has the super … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Gerard Butler

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A poster for a George Formby musical biopic starring Russell Howard by Oddball Times
Celebrities, Film, Incredible Casting Crew

The Incredible Casting Crew: Russell Howard As George Formby

This time in our Incredible Casting Crew segment is a film called “Turned Out Nice Again”, a nine-hour, 4:3 aspect ratio, black and white musical biopic about George Formby played entirely on the ukulele. Russell Howard, who would travel chronologically and in real time through each of Formby’s films, needs to brush-up on the tiny stringed instrument so we can get this made in time … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Russell Howard As George Formby

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A movie poster for a John Lennon biopic starring Daniel Radcliffe by Oddball Times
Celebrities, Film, Incredible Casting Crew

The Incredible Casting Crew: Daniel Radcliffe As John Lennon

This week in our Incredible Casting Crew segment is a movie called “Some Time In New York City”. This film is all about the last days of John Lennon’s life but there’s an added twist: there’s a love triangle between John (played by Daniel Radcliffe) his wife Yoko Ono (played by Rinko Kikuchi) and John’s assassin Mark Chapman (played by K. Trevor Wilson). Audience members … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Daniel Radcliffe As John Lennon

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An advert for Tilda Rice with Tilda Swinton as The Ancient One from Doctor Strange. By Oddball Times
Advertising, Celebrities, Film, Products

Like White On Rice: My Idea For A Tilda Rice Advert

I have a marvellous idea for an ad! This one features actor Tilda Swinton, who thanks to her name, can advertise either Tilda Rice or Swinton Insurance. I assume that since Tilda Swinton played an Asian comic book hero named “The Ancient One” in Marvel’s Doctor Strange, she’ll prefer to put her name to the former, and given that Marvel Studios and writer-director Scott Derrickson … Continue reading Like White On Rice: My Idea For A Tilda Rice Advert

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A poster for a One Foot In The Grave reboot starring John Malkovich by Oddball Times
Celebrities, Film, Incredible Casting Crew, Television

The Incredible Casting Crew: John Malkovich In One Foot In The Grave Reboot

In our latest Incredible Casting Crew segment, we have another fantastic pitch to the entertainment industry. This time it’s a reboot of the classic 90’s sitcom One Foot In The Grave starring none other than John Malkovich! Picture it: a grumpy Victor Meldrew played with the same dark, monotone voice of Cyrus The Virus from Con Air or Mitch Leary from In The Line Of … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: John Malkovich In One Foot In The Grave Reboot

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Yungblud and Fairuza Balk inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab

Celebrity Clone Lab: Yungblud And Fairuza Balk

This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is singer YUNGBLUD (real name Dominic Richard Harrison) and actor Fairuza Balk. Just look at the resemblance! Fairuza Balk starred in the film The Craft in which four outcast teens took part in rituals and cast various spells after becoming interested in witchcraft. Aside from the love spells and the hair-loss spells, one deleted scene featured Balk’s character … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Yungblud And Fairuza Balk

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A movie poster for a Banksy biopic starring Timothy Spall
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Film

Greenlit: Two More Artist Biopics Starring Timothy Spall

After a couple of films in which Timothy Spall played artists J.M.W. Turner and L.S. Lowry, the question remains: will Tim play any more daubers of paint? Will he portray any more makers of assorted objet d’art? The answer is: of course he will! Spall is now set to play the mysterious graffiti artist Banksy and tapestry and vase creator Grayson Perry. Oh, how the … Continue reading Greenlit: Two More Artist Biopics Starring Timothy Spall

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Azealia Banks and William Jackson Harper inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab

Celebrity Clone Lab: Azealia Banks And William Jackson Harper

If you’ve ever thought to yourself “what happens when a clone is dropped on its head?”, we have the answer! William Jackson Harper’s clone Azealia Banks was dropped 212 times whist being transported from Dallas, Texas to Harlem, New York. The crucible tongs that held onto Azealia’s forehead slipped multiple times due to her being so slimy and that’s probably the reason for her peculiar … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Azealia Banks And William Jackson Harper

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Imogen Poots and Helen Mirren inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab

Celebrity Clone Lab: Imogen Poots And Helen Mirren

You can’t keep the truth buried for long folks! We’re almost, nearly, sort of, certain that there’s a Top Secret Celebrity Clone Lab somewhere in the Queen Charlotte’s And Chelsea Hospital in Hammersmith, London. Why do we think that? Well, this is where two of the most famous Hammersmith celebrities were created… or as the official sources say: born. Helen Mirren (actor) was born at … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Imogen Poots And Helen Mirren

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A movie poster for a Richplanet thriller starring Keanu Reeves by Oddball Times
Celebrities, Film, Incredible Casting Crew

The Incredible Casting Crew: Keanu Reeves As Richard D. Hall

This week in our Incredible Casting Crew segment is Beyond The Starship, a semi-fictionalised movie about Richard D. Hall, presenter of Richplanet. Keanu Reeves plays the lead role of Rich Hall; he investigates UFO sightings, fabricated terrorism including 9/11, as well as mind control, and hidden history. The problem is, these “conspiracies” are all linked and anyone who exposes the truth is at risk of … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Keanu Reeves As Richard D. Hall

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Isabela Merced and Jenna Coleman inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab

Celebrity Clone Lab: Isabela Moner And Jenna Coleman

Blackpool-born Jenna Coleman is most famous for her work in northern soap opera Emmerdale but what many don’t know is that a few years before being cast as Jasmine Thomas, her DNA was sampled and placed in some liquid nitrogen that was cleverly hidden in a jar of Coleman’s Mustard. Coleman’s genes were supposed to be handed over to a Celebrity Clone Lab scientist at … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Isabela Moner And Jenna Coleman

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A cartoon of three pods with Leonardo DiCaprio, Brian Thompson and Chris Pine's heads in them. By Oddball Times
Celebrities, Celebrity Gene Splicing, Film, Surreal Comedy

Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Pine

It’s not true what they say: Chris Pine isn’t the son of actors Robert Pine and Gwynne Gilford, oh no, he’s a hybridised clone! For proof, we ask you to look at Pine’s Leonardo DiCaprio-esque eyes and his Brian Thompson-esque jaw, he’s so obviously an amalgamation of the two actors. One day during a power blackout, the DNA of Thompson (star of The Terminator and … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Chris Pine

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A movie poster for a Tiffany Darwish biopic starring Bella Thorne by Oddball Times
Celebrities, Film, Incredible Casting Crew

The Incredible Casting Crew: Bella Thorne In A Tiffany Darwish Biopic

Here at Oddball Times we don’t sit on our laurels. We’ve created another brand-spanking new segment for you to enjoy called “The Incredible Casting Crew“. In this section, we will prove to Hollywood that we’re the world’s greatest casting directors (and the best Photoshoppers on the planet)! Our first pitch to the film industry is a biopic about Tiffany, the ’80s teen singer. The movie … Continue reading The Incredible Casting Crew: Bella Thorne In A Tiffany Darwish Biopic

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Sylvester Stallone and Rock Hudson inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab

Celebrity Clone Lab: Sylvester Stallone And Rock Hudson

Over the years, The Celebrity Clone Lab have created 26 clones of Rock Hudson, the first was code-named “Rock-A” and the last one “Rock-Z”. It was however, the 25th clone “Rock-Y” that was the most successful and he also made it as a Hollywood actor. Given his success, Rock-Y was then nicknamed “Sylvester The Clone” (after his favourite cartoon show which he watched whilst gestating … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Sylvester Stallone And Rock Hudson

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Peter Safran and Jeff Bezos inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab

Celebrity Clone Lab: Jeff Bezos And Peter Safran

Way before Amazon existed, there was a mail order store called Congo owned and operated by the Celebrity Clone Lab who were located in a classified rainforest laboratory at the time. In the Congo, there was a fantastic gene recommendation system which was developed to sort all the celeb clones and if you know where to look, you can still find remnants of this directory … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Jeff Bezos And Peter Safran

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A cartoon of three pods with Margot Robbie, Lena Heady, and Leslie Parrish's heads in them. By Oddball Times
Celebrities, Celebrity Gene Splicing, Film

Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Leslie Parrish

Leslie Parrish, who starred in the original Manchurian Candidate was made by splicing the genes of Lena Heady and Margot Robbie. I bet you didn’t know that! Quite unexpectedly, Leslie Parrish turned out much better than her progenitors; she was an activist and environmentalist, she fought against the Vietnam War and for civil rights, she created a television station that pre-empted C-SPAN, she built a … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Leslie Parrish

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An illustration of Thalia the muse of comedy and Melpomene the muse of tragedy shown as black and white people. By Oddball Times
Film, Observational Comedy, Topical Comedy

Acting Is Acting And Actors Are Actors: A Guide To Hollywood Casting For Minorities

For all those who defend mainstream Hollywood casting decisions that favour straight, white, male actors (people usually heard yelling “it’s an actor’s job is to play somebody they’re not” or “an actor should be allowed to play any character”) here’s a handy little guide for you to peruse… Can a white male actor play a white male role? Yes. Can a white male actor play … Continue reading Acting Is Acting And Actors Are Actors: A Guide To Hollywood Casting For Minorities

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A cartoon of a Petri dish with Daisy Ridley and Rhys James inside. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab

Celebrity Clone Lab: Daisy Ridley And Rhys James

This week in the Celebrity Clone Lab is actor Daisy Ridley. If you don’t already know, she’s the clone of comedian Rhys James. Now of course, the mainstream media will tell you that Daisy Ridley is a descendant of landed gentry, the great-niece of a Dad’s Army actor, and the daughter of a banker and a photographer but all that’s a lie. The truth is … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Daisy Ridley And Rhys James

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A parody movie poster for an Andy Serkis biopic. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Celebrities, Film, Technology, Topical Comedy

Greenlit: A Big-Budget Andy Serkis Biopic

The life of Andy Serkis is to be told as a big-budget Hollywood movie sources tell us. The story of a young lad from Ruislip Manor going on to college, studying theatre and eventually becoming the foremost Motion Capture performer, has been green-lit for production. Studio executives have said that because of the popularity of CGI films and Motion-Capture performances, Serkis’ biopic will be entirely … Continue reading Greenlit: A Big-Budget Andy Serkis Biopic

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A cartoon illustration of Dyson vacuums in a post-apocalyptic wasteland with a mushroom cloud. By Oddball Times
Alternative Comedy, Film, Technology

Beware Of Dyson’s Creations: Predictions Of Our Future In Terminator 2

The movie Terminator 2: Judgment Day was very prophetic; we now have drones in the sky gunning people down, robots are evolving on a daily basis, and with Google, Alexa, Siri and Cortana, we’re moving ever-closer to a Skynet-type artificial intelligence overthrowing the human race. So if James Cameron’s film accurately predicted our future demise, the question remains: who will usher in this imminent human … Continue reading Beware Of Dyson’s Creations: Predictions Of Our Future In Terminator 2

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A cartoon of a petri dish with Salman Rushdie and Stanley Kubrick inside. By Oddball Times
Celebrities, Celebrity Clone Lab, Film, Surreal Comedy

Celebrity Clone Lab: Salman Rushdie And Stanley Kubrick

This week on Celebrity Clone Lab it’s author Salman Rushdie. If you don’t already know, he’s the clone of filmmaker Stanley Kubrick, just look at the resemblance! Sal and Stan are known for their controversial art; Salman for his book The Satanic Verses and Stanley for his masterful direction of the moon landings. Another controversial subject surrounding this pair is the fatwa on Rushdie’s head and … Continue reading Celebrity Clone Lab: Salman Rushdie And Stanley Kubrick

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A cartoon image of Harvey Weinstein showering nude. By Oddball Times
Celebrities, Film, News, Poetry, Topical Comedy

Harvey Weinstein: Big Pimping

Harvey Weinstein sitting atop the Hollywood Tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G (plus harassment, sexual assault, and rape, allegedly) Everyone on the lower branches gave him way too many chances They ignored or covered up his unwanted sexual advances This was something actresses had to get used ta All ’cause he was a hot shot producer What that means folks, is he had the power To fill the cinema … Continue reading Harvey Weinstein: Big Pimping

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A cartoon of a chinook bringing emergency aid to the Hollywood hills. By Oddball Times
Celebrities, Life, Topical Comedy

Bill Gates: Control, Alt, Delete

Hey Bill, I have a brilliant idea and I’m sure you’ll be thrilled to hear it. I listened avidly to your speeches supporting eugenics and global depopulation. Firstly I had to look up the word “Philanthropic” because I thought it meant something quite different. You say the world is growing in population and your vaccines and sterilisation programs could really depopulate those who, as you … Continue reading Bill Gates: Control, Alt, Delete

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A cartoon of three pods with Michael J Fox, Lynne Perrie, and Michael Douglas' heads in them. By Oddball Times
Celebrities, Celebrity Gene Splicing, Surreal Comedy

Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Michael Douglas

Now and again, we at Oddball Times enjoy letting you the reader, into the inner-workings of the entertainment business. In our brand-spanking-new Celebrity Gene Splicing segment, we’re going to tell you how your favourite stars are made. Now you may think celebrities are made the old-fashioned way, but you’re wrong. Instead, Hollywood fuses the genes of already famous people within these patent pending time-travelling splice … Continue reading Celebrity Gene Splicing: How They Made Michael Douglas

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