Hello all, I'm Boris Johnson, and in this general election I ask that you disregard my past when you make your selection... I breached Commons expenses rules, I backed the Iraq War I think Tower Hamlets and Bradford want to impose sharia law I've campaigned across England, I've travelled many, many miles Looking for flag-waving … Continue reading Vote Boris Johnson! Says Boris Johnson
I love this stuff that falls from above As light as air and as white as a dove It covers the house, the car, the ground Without so much as making a sound I love this cold stuff, I'm such a fan I can mould it to make a chubby little man I can turn … Continue reading Snow Delay: A British Christmas Tradition
In the good old days when I was just a lad You could say what you wanted, oh, the fun that we had! Now everything I say is “wrong”, what I do is "bad" Can't say or do anything, it's P.C. gone mad There's nowt wrong with me saying “coloured” or “queer” But now it's … Continue reading Can’t Say Or Do Anything Any More: It’s Political Correctness Gone Mad!
Kids played freely in the street Eating Spam instead of meat Back when you could leave your front door unlocked Gossiping over the garden fence You could buy a week's shopping with half-a-pence Back when you could leave your front door unlocked You knew the name of the people next door All cosy in the … Continue reading Back When You Could Leave Your Front Door Unlocked
Today I thought I'd give Absolute Radio a go I tuned into Absolute Rock and heard The Quo I didn't think much of it so I pressed “scan” Absolute 80s was playing Duran Duran Finally I found Absolute 90s on my dials Only to be confronted by Robert Miles To be honest after all this … Continue reading 80s & 90s Radio: Absolutely Not What I Was Listening To!
This week I asked two Brits, one Brexiteer and one Remainer About how they voted in the referendum, they said it was a no-brainer Tarquin said... “The EU is a utopia, it's a beacon of peace And no, I don't care how the EU treated Greece I voted remain because Richard Branson told me to … Continue reading Exit Stage Left Or Brexit Stage Right: What Is The Correct Position?
Who is that fat, white man? There's pictures of him everywhere He has a swag bag, a beard, and long white hair I've heard he rides flying horned creatures but that's probably a lie They say I have to leave him a mince pie but no one can tell me why They say he comes … Continue reading Who’s That Fat Intruder?